Feels as if my life is finished.

CAS · Apr 8, 2011

My online girlfriend (and pretty much only friend) broke up with me and now I'm back in the pit of despair once again.

I need some new online friends, but friends who genuinely want to get to know me and aren't just going through the motions.

Anyone out there?

SophiaGrace · Apr 8, 2011

CAS, you can't gain happiness through another person. I've seen you try over and over again to try to gain happiness through others (Dating). Maybe, if you work on yourself, focus on yourself and your life (where you'd like it to be). Things might get better for you. I think you're placing unreasonable expectations on others, when people are meant to compliment each other, not complete.

VanillaCreme · Apr 8, 2011

I agree with Sophia. Depending on other people, such as a girlfriend, for total happiness probably won't get you anywhere. Good luck with this.

I'm Fine · Apr 8, 2011

I'm sorry to hear that things haven't worked out with your girlfriend *hugs*

In addition to the advice given already, I would suggest that you not pin everything on one particular person either. Try to have several friends, if you can (not always possible, believe me I know). Even if they're not the kind of friend that you can talk to about personal things, just being able to say 'hello' to people can sometimes help you not feel *quite* so alone. It's a thought anyway. I hope it helps and I hope you find a way to be happy with yourself.

Take care *hugs*

A new life · Apr 8, 2011

If someone can "give" you happiness, they can also take it away.
(I need to take my own advice)

whocares · Apr 8, 2011

where do you live at? Perhaps just taking a walk outside would help. See a movie, go play some golf, etc.

and I'd be happy to be your friend! : )

CAS · Apr 9, 2011

All I'm trying to do is make an effort to gain some more friends. I'm not trying to seek fulfillment from one person in particular. I know that can never work.

Thrasymachus · Apr 10, 2011

What the hell is an online girlfriend going to do for you, even if she still contacted you? Or online friends?

Too many on this site have an unhealthy obsession with imagining to "connect" with people who they can only interact with online.

CAS · Apr 11, 2011

Thrasymachus said:
What the hell is an online girlfriend going to do for you, even if she still contacted you? Or online friends?

Too many on this site have an unhealthy obsession with imagining to "connect" with people who they can only interact with online.

If you're so set against online friends, then what is your business being a member of this site?

Thrasymachus · Apr 11, 2011

I know this is just a forum, I don't pretend any of you are my friends! Come on, be serious. There is a big difference between posting here, wanting online friends, and assuming online friends are of any great benefit.

I wish I had people I could talk to about serious subjects in real life, probably I could stop posting here, but even the most sociable people surrounded by others all the time, just deal with the vapid together in mutual distraction all the time. If they have a real problem they often bottle it in or want to talk a specialist bureaucratic professional certified by a university(psychiatrist, therapist, counselor, etc.). To me it is better to vent it out in some online corner rather than deal with these professional bureaucrats who fake concern out of a sick sense of professional responsibility but never mean it.

CAS · Apr 11, 2011

Thrasymachus said:
I know this is just a forum, I don't pretend any of you are my friends! Come on, be serious. There is a big difference between posting here, wanting online friends, and assuming online friends are of any great benefit.

I wish I had people I could talk to about serious subjects in real life, probably I could stop posting here, but even the most sociable people surrounded by others all the time, just deal with the vapid together in mutual distraction all the time. If they have a real problem they often bottle it in or want to talk a specialist bureaucratic professional certified by a university(psychiatrist, therapist, counselor, etc.). To me it is better to vent it out in some online corner rather than deal with these professional bureaucrats who fake concern out of a sick sense of professional responsibility but never mean it.

Although I appreciate what you're saying, it is possible to find genuinely caring, beneficial online friends. OK, it's a rarity but it is possible.

Thrasymachus · Apr 11, 2011

No it is not. Real physical, face to face inter-human interactions cannot be replaced by the poor mediation of another human briefly typing from their keyboard, transmitting dry, inexpressive text to your screen.

Also they will not be there when you need help or emotional support, all they can offer after-all is text.

Sci-Fi · Apr 11, 2011

I agree with Sophia. You don't need others to make you happy, you have to be happy with yourself. Fact of life, people come and go in our lives, some stick around some don't. You have to understand that and be prepared for it. Losing someone in your life is never easy but you can't let it bring you down into a pit of despair because they are no longer there. It's unhealthy.

Starman · Apr 11, 2011

Thrasymachus said:
No it is not. Real physical, face to face inter-human interactions cannot be replaced by the poor mediation of another human briefly typing from their keyboard, transmitting dry, inexpressive text to your screen.

Also they will not be there when you need help or emotional support, all they can offer after-all is text.

telephone, cam

being friends with someone is not dependent on physical presence

VanillaCreme · Apr 11, 2011

Thrasymachus said:
No it is not. Real physical, face to face inter-human interactions cannot be replaced by the poor mediation of another human briefly typing from their keyboard, transmitting dry, inexpressive text to your screen.

Also they will not be there when you need help or emotional support, all they can offer after-all is text.

You can't speak for everyone. So don't. It is possible for some people. Not everyone, like myself, needs to be in someone's face to enjoy their company.

Callie · Apr 11, 2011

I have never met my best friend. Met her online almost 5 years ago.

SofiasMami · Apr 11, 2011

Thrasymachus said:
No it is not. Real physical, face to face inter-human interactions cannot be replaced by the poor mediation of another human briefly typing from their keyboard, transmitting dry, inexpressive text to your screen.

Also they will not be there when you need help or emotional support, all they can offer after-all is text.

I disagree. Yes, there are plenty of shallow internet friendships out there but I consider some of my internet friends to be just as important as the friends I can actually see and touch. I like some of my internet friends more than most people I know in real life. We humans can touch each other in many ways; don't limit yourself in thinking face-to-face contact is superior to long-distance contact.

Getting back to the OP, there's plenty of potential friends out there. I'll send you a PM.

Teresa

Thrasymachus · Apr 12, 2011

VanillaCreme said:
Not everyone, like myself, needs to be in someone's face to enjoy their company.

Stop the solipsism, if your not present with someone, you are not in their "company" period.

If you spend lots of time maintaining and seeking online "friends" you will find you have much fewer time for real life ones. Focusing on sending text messages to distant people cannot satisfy a human's emotional needs for comfort, connection and support. You cannot convey body language, touch, facial expression, demeanor, proper affection, tonality, life energy, accent, etc. In real life if someone says, "I'm fine," but they say it with a disbelieving tonality, a dour face and a closed body posture, you know they are putting up a front. Online you cannot discern such incongruence and you cannot really get to know a person from such a paltry level of contact.

VanillaCreme · Apr 12, 2011

Thrasymachus said:
VanillaCreme said:

Not everyone, like myself, needs to be in someone's face to enjoy their company.

Click to expand...

Stop the solipsism, if your not present with someone, you are not in their "company" period.

Uhh, yes you are. You must not know what company is then.

Thrasymachus · Apr 12, 2011

Company is when you are in the physical presence of someone else. Stuff like this is just for movies, since you did not notice already:

Feels as if my life is finished.

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

Well-known member

SophiaGrace

Guest

Well-known member

Well-known member

Well-known member

Well-known member

Well-known member

Well-known member

Well-known member

Well-known member

Well-known member

Well-known member

Watcher

Well-known member

Well-known member

Callie

Guest

Well-known member

Well-known member

Well-known member

Well-known member

Similar threads

Join the conversation!

Join today and get all the highlights of this community direct to your inbox. It's FREE!