Feeling worthless and depressed (need real help)

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kindster

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PLEASE READ MY POST AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS.

I am 16 years old male that is going to high school and has only 1 true friends and feel depressed and worthless . I've been picked by people since i arrived to high school and this is my 2nd year here so far. There is specially one group in my class that has nothing to talk about than to gossip about me it like that gossiping me is their only connection. Gossips really hurts me badly and make me feel sad to some point that you can see sadness in my eyes and i start breathing hard. I think i gained social anxiety last year because i have all problems like people with it have. I don't avoid social events and i don't have fear of people criticizing me but i do get depressed when people make fun of me in-front of all class and they do that a lot. Also when i speak in group of people they look each other and make weird funny faces looking each other and pointing with their heads at me like i am retarded most of the time. I feel more comfortable when there is less people in our class because i got kind of fear that they will humiliate me and it happens a lot. When i buy something new clothes usually they talk behind my back and sometimes in my face that my shirt or jacket is crap (which make me sad) and next months people get almost same jacket as i have. But that's not happening only with clothes it's like i made one day good looking chin hair and they were like " hahaha forgot to shave" and next day all of them came in school with chin hear style just like mine. My voice is quiet so even when i feel am shouting people are like talk louder. Now my other problem is my sexuality has suddenly changed like in one month or two i've started getting erections both on men and women but at this point little more on men and i am afraid of giving in gay relationships and i have fear of it so sometimes in bus when i sit near other male my leggs start shaking like crazy. Sometime when i am home i enrage punching walls and it makes me feel less depressed. Also i only get gay thoughts when i am home or some place alone not when i am in group of people. With this thoughts and erections on men haunting me i lost interest in everything. To give some info of my look: good body, tall, good looking, attractive to both genders.
Can someone help me find solution to my problems my self esteem is falling and i am eating my self up non-stop whit these problems i fail to keep my concentration for too long and when i do i got that weird feeling in stomach that makes my breathing hard and is provoked by me reminding of some events in past where i was humiliated.

One more thing to say "Can a gay guy be dominant kickboxer" ?

 
First, there is nothing and I mean NOTHING wrong with you. You're a teenager and the teenage years are rough! I know exactly how you feel, the anxiety you feel. I had to put up with the whispers, bullying, jokes, ever since I was 12. It's not easy, especially when these people doing it barely know you. I always wondered what I might be doing wrong, why they would make fun of me. Most of the time I got picked on because I was short and skinny, not my fault it's in my family genes. I wasn't much of an athlete either, I actually suck at sports. It was a horrible time in my life and it has greatly affected me in my adult years, but there were good times too. I eventually had a great group of friends and I liked who I was. I still got picked on though but I knew there were people who liked me for me. I'm 35 now and I still panic around large groups of people.

Sorry to say, but there isn't much you can do about what other people do. Teenagers are cruel, social standings change greatly depending on what you do, what you wear, who you know, etc. One day you're the big fish, the next day you're the dead rat in the gutter. It's just how it is. You have to learn how to cope with it, you just have to keep reminding yourself that these people who tease you and make you feel bad or sad are just jackasses, plain and simple. One day they will grow up and realize how much of a jerk they were, but that probably won't be for a long time. As teenagers you think your honeysuckle don't stink. Very few learn what the real world is like and how to properly treat others. Those that usually do are the ones that have been on both sides and know how it feels to be humiliated. High school is just rough, and I won't tell you it will get better because it might not, you will have to tough it out for another few years.

As for you getting erections around guys, that is completely normal for a teenager. You're still developing sexually, your hormones are out of whack. As a teenage boy you'll have to get used to getting erections when you don't want one, and sometimes over the weirdest things. Maybe you are gay, maybe you are bisexual, maybe you are straight. Could be that you are just curious about how some of the other guys your age are developing, it is completely natural to be curious. I remember being your age, it certainly didn't take much to get a rise out of mini me.

Can a gay guy be a dominant kickboxer? Why would it matter? Kickboxing is all about skill, and if a gay guy is a kickboxer that is the last person you want to mess with. What guy is going to want to have his ass handed to him by a gay guy, he'd be humiliated even worse.

Learn to speak up, with all your insecurities you are a prime target to be picked on. Be confident, learn to brush off what others say about you, it just goes to show what kind of person they are, jerks. You have one true friend, then that is all you need because even that is rare in high school. Toughen yourself up, walk tall, if you don't you'll be like me in 20 years, and you don't want that.

Right now you are learning things that can make you a stronger better person as you become and adult. Always be the person you want to be though, don't become a sheep following the heard like many do in high school. Be you and no one else. In a few years as you mature mentally you'll look back and wonder why you let all this get to you so much.
 
Why don't you ask them questions?

From what you said you have a great sense of style

You wear something then after a while the others wear the same, right?

When they gossip about you, why don't you talk to them?

You could ask them: "Why are you talking about me? Am I so interesting? Am I the best thing that you can find to talk about now?"

Bear in mind maybe you are really interesting, but different. And being different can scare people

Maybe they aren't being evil. Maybe they're just afraid of you. Maybe they suspect that you're stronger than they are?

Maybe that's why they make fun of you. They're afraid

And maybe if you talk to them they will gradually open up?

Best

Edoardo
 
Ive been through the same thing man, never had any friends in high school, still dont and hoping college will be better, Ive been hated, made fun of, you name it, I would say try to meet some new people through clubs or something, theres good people everywhere, even in your school, but if I learned anything its that the good people are under the radar, you have to go out and find them.

To be honest you seem like a really cool guy, these idiots making fun of you, theyre losers that are going to end up taking your order at mcdonalds XD

if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a PM
 
kindster said:
PLEASE READ MY POST AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS.

I am 16 years old male that is going to high school and has only 1 true friends and feel depressed and worthless . I've been picked by people since i arrived to high school and this is my 2nd year here so far.

Sweetheart I'm so sorry to hear how you are feeling ...this highschool bullying is getting out of hand!
Teenagers can be very cruel because of their own insecurities. By picking on you they deflect any negative attention that could come to them and expose them. You are NOT worthless. You are on this earth for a purpose and no one has the right to dictate your value for you..NO ONE. This is a life lesson that you are learning at 16 because this doesnt necessarily go away when you get older. You are in school for a reason. Use the school to join hobbies and teams to develop yourself. You'll be in college soon and by then these gossip mongers would not even be a thought! Build yourself and know who you are now so that in college you can function.

There is specially one group in my class that has nothing to talk about than to gossip about me it like that gossiping me is their only connection. Gossips really hurts me badly and make me feel sad to some point that you can see sadness in my eyes and i start breathing hard.

They don't have a life really if all they can do is gossip about you. They are really a sad pathetic bunch. In my high school years I'd talk back but only you are really in the situation and really will know the best course of action. I had a mean mouth if you pushed me to do it.

I think i gained social anxiety last year because i have all problems like people with it have. I don't avoid social events and i don't have fear of people criticizing me but i do get depressed when people make fun of me in-front of all class and they do that a lot. Also when i speak in group of people they look each other and make weird funny faces looking each other and pointing with their heads at me like i am retarded most of the time. I feel more comfortable when there is less people in our class because i got kind of fear that they will humiliate me and it happens a lot.

I know what social anxiety is like and trust me when I tell you just don't take them on! They look at eachother to seek confirmation for their course of action because they are not independent thinkers. They need the group to function. Me I'd question them in front of everybody. 'You have a prob with what I'm saying...maybe you could elaborate? Noticed how y'all looking at eachother ... maybe your brains can't function by themselves so you'll have to come together to get an opinion'.

When i buy something new clothes usually they talk behind my back and sometimes in my face that my shirt or jacket is crap (which make me sad) and next months people get almost same jacket as i have. But that's not happening only with clothes it's like i made one day good looking chin hair and they were like " hahaha forgot to shave" and next day all of them came in school with chin hear style just like mine. My voice is quiet so even when i feel am shouting people are like talk louder.

They're just jealous of you...you're a trendsetter and don't even know it! Join a club and get reinforcement from a coach or teacher or the head of any extra curricular group. It also takes your attention away from them. If you give them your energy you are attracting them...STOP IT! If you have senior people to watch your back there are other kids that will admire you and leave you alone. Get tough...you are NOT weak

Now my other problem is my sexuality has suddenly changed like in one month or two i've started getting erections both on men and women but at this point little more on men and i am afraid of giving in gay relationships and i have fear of it so sometimes in bus when i sit near other male my leggs start shaking like crazy. Sometime when i am home i enrage punching walls and it makes me feel less depressed. Also i only get gay thoughts when i am home or some place alone not when i am in group of people. With this thoughts and erections on men haunting me i lost interest in everything. To give some info of my look: good body, tall, good looking, attractive to both genders.

Stop beating up on yourself. Get some books and explore your sexuality there. You're only 16 you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't rush things.

Can someone help me find solution to my problems my self esteem is falling and i am eating my self up non-stop whit these problems i fail to keep my concentration for too long and when i do i got that weird feeling in stomach that makes my breathing hard and is provoked by me reminding of some events in past where i was humiliated.

One more thing to say "Can a gay guy be dominant kickboxer" ?

You apparently have a nervous stomach like myself. Learn some meditation techniques to keep calm. Its starts from within. Believe in yourself first. If you have low self esteem and people told you nice things you wouldnt believe it anyway so believe in yourself first! Its in the mind! Accept the situation for what it is and see it as challenges that you must learn from. They don't like you already so hardly anything you do now will change that BUT they MUST respect you.

Yes a gay guy can be a dominant kickboxer.
http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Man+e...ransgender+kickboxer+is+at+the...-a0131280348

BTW have you spoken to your parents about this?

 
Happy_Aspie said:
kindster said:
PLEASE READ MY POST AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS.

I am 16 years old male that is going to high school and has only 1 true friends and feel depressed and worthless . I've been picked by people since i arrived to high school and this is my 2nd year here so far.

Sweetheart I'm so sorry to hear how you are feeling ...this highschool bullying is getting out of hand!
Teenagers can be very cruel because of their own insecurities. By picking on you they deflect any negative attention that could come to them and expose them. You are NOT worthless. You are on this earth for a purpose and no one has the right to dictate your value for you..NO ONE. This is a life lesson that you are learning at 16 because this doesnt necessarily go away when you get older. You are in school for a reason. Use the school to join hobbies and teams to develop yourself. You'll be in college soon and by then these gossip mongers would not even be a thought! Build yourself and know who you are now so that in college you can function.

There is specially one group in my class that has nothing to talk about than to gossip about me it like that gossiping me is their only connection. Gossips really hurts me badly and make me feel sad to some point that you can see sadness in my eyes and i start breathing hard.

They don't have a life really if all they can do is gossip about you. They are really a sad pathetic bunch. In my high school years I'd talk back but only you are really in the situation and really will know the best course of action. I had a mean mouth if you pushed me to do it.

I think i gained social anxiety last year because i have all problems like people with it have. I don't avoid social events and i don't have fear of people criticizing me but i do get depressed when people make fun of me in-front of all class and they do that a lot. Also when i speak in group of people they look each other and make weird funny faces looking each other and pointing with their heads at me like i am retarded most of the time. I feel more comfortable when there is less people in our class because i got kind of fear that they will humiliate me and it happens a lot.

I know what social anxiety is like and trust me when I tell you just don't take them on! They look at eachother to seek confirmation for their course of action because they are not independent thinkers. They need the group to function. Me I'd question them in front of everybody. 'You have a prob with what I'm saying...maybe you could elaborate? Noticed how y'all looking at eachother ... maybe your brains can't function by themselves so you'll have to come together to get an opinion'.

When i buy something new clothes usually they talk behind my back and sometimes in my face that my shirt or jacket is crap (which make me sad) and next months people get almost same jacket as i have. But that's not happening only with clothes it's like i made one day good looking chin hair and they were like " hahaha forgot to shave" and next day all of them came in school with chin hear style just like mine. My voice is quiet so even when i feel am shouting people are like talk louder.

They're just jealous of you...you're a trendsetter and don't even know it! Join a club and get reinforcement from a coach or teacher or the head of any extra curricular group. It also takes your attention away from them. If you give them your energy you are attracting them...STOP IT! If you have senior people to watch your back there are other kids that will admire you and leave you alone. Get tough...you are NOT weak

Now my other problem is my sexuality has suddenly changed like in one month or two i've started getting erections both on men and women but at this point little more on men and i am afraid of giving in gay relationships and i have fear of it so sometimes in bus when i sit near other male my leggs start shaking like crazy. Sometime when i am home i enrage punching walls and it makes me feel less depressed. Also i only get gay thoughts when i am home or some place alone not when i am in group of people. With this thoughts and erections on men haunting me i lost interest in everything. To give some info of my look: good body, tall, good looking, attractive to both genders.

Stop beating up on yourself. Get some books and explore your sexuality there. You're only 16 you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't rush things.

Can someone help me find solution to my problems my self esteem is falling and i am eating my self up non-stop whit these problems i fail to keep my concentration for too long and when i do i got that weird feeling in stomach that makes my breathing hard and is provoked by me reminding of some events in past where i was humiliated.

One more thing to say "Can a gay guy be dominant kickboxer" ?

You apparently have a nervous stomach like myself. Learn some meditation techniques to keep calm. Its starts from within. Believe in yourself first. If you have low self esteem and people told you nice things you wouldnt believe it anyway so believe in yourself first! Its in the mind! Accept the situation for what it is and see it as challenges that you must learn from. They don't like you already so hardly anything you do now will change that BUT they MUST respect you.

Yes a gay guy can be a dominant kickboxer.
http://www.thefreelibrary.com/Man+e...ransgender+kickboxer+is+at+the...-a0131280348

BTW have you spoken to your parents about this?

Thanks for this replay it really explained some things to me.
No i haven't talked to parents about whole thing i wrote here, they just know some shallow things like that people don't like me.
 

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