PLEASE READ MY POST AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS.
I am 16 years old male that is going to high school and has only 1 true friends and feel depressed and worthless . I've been picked by people since i arrived to high school and this is my 2nd year here so far. There is specially one group in my class that has nothing to talk about than to gossip about me it like that gossiping me is their only connection. Gossips really hurts me badly and make me feel sad to some point that you can see sadness in my eyes and i start breathing hard. I think i gained social anxiety last year because i have all problems like people with it have. I don't avoid social events and i don't have fear of people criticizing me but i do get depressed when people make fun of me in-front of all class and they do that a lot. Also when i speak in group of people they look each other and make weird funny faces looking each other and pointing with their heads at me like i am retarded most of the time. I feel more comfortable when there is less people in our class because i got kind of fear that they will humiliate me and it happens a lot. When i buy something new clothes usually they talk behind my back and sometimes in my face that my shirt or jacket is crap (which make me sad) and next months people get almost same jacket as i have. But that's not happening only with clothes it's like i made one day good looking chin hair and they were like " hahaha forgot to shave" and next day all of them came in school with chin hear style just like mine. My voice is quiet so even when i feel am shouting people are like talk louder. Now my other problem is my sexuality has suddenly changed like in one month or two i've started getting erections both on men and women but at this point little more on men and i am afraid of giving in gay relationships and i have fear of it so sometimes in bus when i sit near other male my leggs start shaking like crazy. Sometime when i am home i enrage punching walls and it makes me feel less depressed. Also i only get gay thoughts when i am home or some place alone not when i am in group of people. With this thoughts and erections on men haunting me i lost interest in everything. To give some info of my look: good body, tall, good looking, attractive to both genders.
Can someone help me find solution to my problems my self esteem is falling and i am eating my self up non-stop whit these problems i fail to keep my concentration for too long and when i do i got that weird feeling in stomach that makes my breathing hard and is provoked by me reminding of some events in past where i was humiliated.
One more thing to say "Can a gay guy be dominant kickboxer" ?
I am 16 years old male that is going to high school and has only 1 true friends and feel depressed and worthless . I've been picked by people since i arrived to high school and this is my 2nd year here so far. There is specially one group in my class that has nothing to talk about than to gossip about me it like that gossiping me is their only connection. Gossips really hurts me badly and make me feel sad to some point that you can see sadness in my eyes and i start breathing hard. I think i gained social anxiety last year because i have all problems like people with it have. I don't avoid social events and i don't have fear of people criticizing me but i do get depressed when people make fun of me in-front of all class and they do that a lot. Also when i speak in group of people they look each other and make weird funny faces looking each other and pointing with their heads at me like i am retarded most of the time. I feel more comfortable when there is less people in our class because i got kind of fear that they will humiliate me and it happens a lot. When i buy something new clothes usually they talk behind my back and sometimes in my face that my shirt or jacket is crap (which make me sad) and next months people get almost same jacket as i have. But that's not happening only with clothes it's like i made one day good looking chin hair and they were like " hahaha forgot to shave" and next day all of them came in school with chin hear style just like mine. My voice is quiet so even when i feel am shouting people are like talk louder. Now my other problem is my sexuality has suddenly changed like in one month or two i've started getting erections both on men and women but at this point little more on men and i am afraid of giving in gay relationships and i have fear of it so sometimes in bus when i sit near other male my leggs start shaking like crazy. Sometime when i am home i enrage punching walls and it makes me feel less depressed. Also i only get gay thoughts when i am home or some place alone not when i am in group of people. With this thoughts and erections on men haunting me i lost interest in everything. To give some info of my look: good body, tall, good looking, attractive to both genders.
Can someone help me find solution to my problems my self esteem is falling and i am eating my self up non-stop whit these problems i fail to keep my concentration for too long and when i do i got that weird feeling in stomach that makes my breathing hard and is provoked by me reminding of some events in past where i was humiliated.
One more thing to say "Can a gay guy be dominant kickboxer" ?