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Angelface

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Since I have had my son two years ago, my friends have liked stopped inviting me to any sort of thing going on in their lives. They will say hi or come over every once in awhile to see how I am doing. But because I have a child, they assume that I'm no longer capable of having fun. Of course I know that I can't always go out and have fun and I have turned down things such as going out every weekend.

But even simple things that I can even take my son to they perfer to ingore me. Why is that? Because I have grown up and at the stage of my life I should be, friends kinda look down on you... It's messed up..
 
It’s difficult for non-parents to interact with parents a lot of the time. For most parents it’s a very closed world they inhabit, everything is about their home and their family unit. My sister’s friends all had children a long time ago, because she did not she was often left out of their lives. Now she has a child and its all mums together, in their closed worlds. As a single non parent I never come into contact with a parent of any kind, never have. My sister and her friends seem only interested in mother and baby groups or the latest mother care sale. Going to the supermarket is considered a day out to them.

There is another thing that sounds harsh but is true; when people have children they are the most important thing in their lives, which is as it should be. So parents tend to want to talk about their kids a LOT. To a non parent theirs nothing more boring than child related talk.

I do feel strongly though that Parents and especially mothers should try to get some ‘me’ time. My sisters whole life is about the child and she has no identity apart from ‘mother of 1’. I would strongly recommend that you try to have one night out a month, to give you a chance to relax and be ‘you’ and not ‘mother of 1’ all the time. Also I know it is hard with a kid but try and keep in touch with your interests that you had before you had the child.

But back to your current friends I am assuming some are girls? One would think that at least one of them would be fond of the child and want to spend more time with you because they enjoy seeing the child? I do find it odd that girl friends would not be into that.

Angelface said:
Since I have had my son two years ago, my friends have liked stopped inviting me to any sort of thing going on in their lives. They will say hi or come over every once in awhile to see how I am doing. But because I have a child, they assume that I'm no longer capable of having fun. Of course I know that I can't always go out and have fun and I have turned down things such as going out every weekend.

But even simple things that I can even take my son to they perfer to ingore me. Why is that? Because I have grown up and at the stage of my life I should be, friends kinda look down on you... It's messed up..

 
Maybe you might try making new friends. Family orianted women or mothers.
Yes you had move on with your life and your life had change and thiers havn't.
Just different life style that's all...dont take it so personally.
They're not looking down on you. You just have different priorities in your life.
Hopefully you'll meet more parents at play grounds or chuckie cheese.
Invite them to your children birthday party or visa versa.
Or just break bread with them..who knows, maybe they're going through the samethings that you are.
 
I know this will probably sound kind of crazy, but talk to them about it! It's possible they don't even realize they're excluding you. It probably started out as not wanting to invite you to something they knew you couldn't do, and ended up turning into a habit of not inviting you.
 
I was the first one in my group of friends to have a baby (unexpectedly) at the age of 25. Now I'm 31 everyone has started to catch up. Initially I did feel quite isolated because they didn't understand really. But straight away I resolved to keep my own identity and very much keep my social life seperate from my son. I didn't want to be seen as "Bertie's mum", I wanted to be known as Lucie. I arranged nights outs when I knew I could get a sitter and they were happy to come. They would let me know about other stuff but they knew I couldn't always come. When I was out with them, I kept baby talk to a minimum. To be honest, it was relief to escape and be carefree and be "me" for a few hours. I don't really enjoy socialising with my son and my friends- it isn't fun seeing your friends and parenting at the same time (too stressful!). Make the effort, get a sitter, cut the baby talk and go out and have a good time.
 

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