the email i sent to my ex last night please read cant stop crying

im writing this incase this im not around anymore. i just cant cope with everything at all aswell as you hatin me,i have made too many mistakes the biggest being kissin dicktrina and me not bein there for u when u went to manchester, it still haunts me and it always will and i always wreck everything good in my life the best being you. i had everything a man would dream of, i never see anyone have messed up all my jobs lost my cars and most of all destroyed us, seein ur status single and interested in men was kind of the pinnicle. im not lookin any sympathy at all as i dont deserve any,its a cowardly way out and so so selfish but i guess ive always been that way. i did wanna be with you for the rest of my life, we were good together especially all them times there was a network of us me u annette kenny rab karen nick etc i used to love bein with u when we were all doin things. i just cant stop thinking of everything engagement party were we went all the time its impossible. i cant ever see u touch you or even talk to you. my life has been nothin but a failure u said it urself was bullied in school had a horrifc accident got into fights trouble with the police over stupid and needless things, but i would swap all that for the mistakes i made with you in a flash. i love u so much and i hate these suicidal thoughts goin through my head i just cant see a way out or a way forward. i couldnt live in the house without u i dont know how u can as u said there was too many memories, i even moved out of the attic as there was far too much hate u not bein there us not goin to bed and wakin up together it really is the end of the road, and the thought of u bein with anyone else is killin me worse than bein stabbed thats how it feels. i can barely get through a day without thinkin about you and how much i regret so so much and wish when u said u were gonna think about marryin me ur answer was gonna be yes i really believed we hada chance i cant risk goin to jail over this i cant even sit in my room without stressin about everything, ive tried ice skating, bowling, the gym.everything just reminds me of us. if there was somethin i could do to repair the damage by god i would. ive brought so much hurt and misery to u an the wee lad all i have is memories good and bad. im lost for words. if i do go its up to u if u wanna be there or not id like embrace - drawn from memory played although there was a choice of loads, if your hearts not in it, when i see you smile, back to you list goes on. i just wish i could have seen see you 1 last time all i do is cry i cant help it, im not feelin sorry for myself and i hardly talk to anyone about it just my councillor, if i could stop getting upset i would, i thought it would be different after all this time, its the biggest mistake ive ever made in my entire life. im not even close to anyone anymore rab the odd time and hes gonna hate me if this works and\
im so so sorry to everyone especially my family. ive been to the doctor took anti deps councillin doin things why does it still hurt like hell?i wish i knew. ill never ever get over you. i thought i could be strong and carry on but ive tried and tried its all failed ive simply no options left its gonna hurt people but its like no-one understands ur the only one that did when i was goin through hard times but ur gone and ive nothin or no1 to turn to ( that forward slash is a problem with my enter key incase ur wonderin) im in bits even writin this. i just wanted it to be the 3 of us in the house for life get married and have a future, i just didnt show it like i should have, i didnt want anyone else or i wuda went elsewhere apart from\
that drunken kiss with dickatrina at the start of our relationship i never went near anyone else but i know i hurt u mentally and ur trust in me dissapeared and if it was me id be the same, i wanted to change, cant stop thinking about when i was in hospital u were there when u didnt have to be and we were gettin on brilliant, makin love was awesome altho u said i was shite at sex and u faked it, that was hard to take and i think about everything that has been said between the both of us, i said some cruel unmeant things, i dunno if u meant urs or not but it seemed like u did which means the whole time u were lyin as i thought u enjoyed it. i miss me djing with u there, miss goin to liverpool etc wud never wanna go with any1 else. id love my liverpool flag around my box think ive ran out of things to say, ive let ppl down and people have let me down loads of times just feel so alone and recluse nothin to live for anymore literally. the only memorys i have of u is 2 photos wall-e and OUR dog sasha and she will always be ours. i love u so much, love my djin/trance and liverpool fc. you'll never walk alone. miss you more than anything baby im so so sorry. xoxoxox jamie! i wanted this to be our wedding song
It is impossible to fall out of love.
Love is such a powerful emotion that once it envelops u.
It does not depart.
True love is eternal.
If u think that u were once in love but fell out of it,
...then it wasn't love u were in.
There are no 'exit' signs in love\\
As We Grow Up We Think We Are Losing Friends..
But Truth Is, We Don't Lose Friends..
We Just Learn Who The Real Ones Are
\
There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go

but i did love you and always will xx ps. ive made a cd that reminds me of us u can break it or throw it out if ya want and i wanna thank you for everything u done for me million times more than anyone else has, aswell as my mum n dad i love you all x i love my nanny so so much aswell she has done loads for me i hate feelin like this wish i could deal with it. x u were my disney princess xx

tl;dr

I seriously hope you didn't send that to him as is. I didn't read it, and if it was me you sent that to I'd just delete it without reading it. Just looking at it, it looks like the ramblings of an overly emotional teenage girl. I'm not sure how old you are but that is a mess, not trying to be mean or anything, but if you are going to put that much effort into something like this it should be readable. Proper sentence structure, paragraphs, spelling.

From my perspective it looks like you put no effort into your message, you just hammered out a lot of emotions and clicked send. You should never do that, if you want someone to read something, and take you seriously, you have to make it look like you put some real time and thought behind it. It's okay to just get it all out but read it over and clean it up before you send something like this.

Sci-Fi said:

tl;dr

I seriously hope you didn't send that to him as is. I didn't read it, and if it was me you sent that to I'd just delete it without reading it. Just looking at it, it looks like the ramblings of an overly emotional teenage girl. I'm not sure how old you are but that is a mess, not trying to be mean or anything, but if you are going to put that much effort into something like this it should be readable. Proper sentence structure, paragraphs, spelling.

From my perspective it looks like you put no effort into your message, you just hammered out a lot of emotions and clicked send. You should never do that, if you want someone to read something, and take you seriously, you have to make it look like you put some real time and thought behind it. It's okay to just get it all out but read it over and clean it up before you send something like this.

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i sent it to HER and theres a problem with my keyboard everytime i press enter this happens \
\
\
and some of my keys dont work either

I gotta agree with Sci-Fi here. Regardless of what happens when you press enter, it doesn't seem to happen all the time and apparently the shift key works, so I'm not buying that excuse.

You should not have sent that letter (I also did not read it all, but I skimmed it). It sounds like you are saying you are going to kill yourself because of whatever happened between you. Exes don't enjoy getting those letters and honestly, it sounds like "oh please take me back, I can't live without you." Those never work.

jamie said:

i sent it to HER and theres a problem with my keyboard everytime i press enter this happens \
\
\
and some of my keys dont work either

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I'm so sorry Jamie, I should have examined it more to determine if you were a guy or girl. Please accept my apology on that part.

As for your keyboard, either you need a new one or your settings are messed up. Check your keyboard settings to see what language they are set on. Mine likes to switch to Canadian/French when I'm playing a game, even though it is set on US.

Like Callie said, ex's don't like getting those kind of emails.

Sci-Fi said:

jamie said:

i sent it to HER and theres a problem with my keyboard everytime i press enter this happens \
\
\
and some of my keys dont work either

Click to expand...

I'm so sorry Jamie, I should have examined it more to determine if you were a guy or girl. Please accept my apology on that part.

As for your keyboard, either you need a new one or your settings are messed up. Check your keyboard settings to see what language they are set on. Mine likes to switch to Canadian/French when I'm playing a game, even though it is set on US.

Like Callie said, ex's don't like getting those kind of emails.

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i know i shouldnt have sent it, i nwas really upset and was the only way of getting anything to her dont even know if she has read it as she doesnt really check her emails

Honestly, I've written many of those letters over the years. But I never send them, it's more for ME to get it out. I burn them after I write them.

i just wanted her to know how i felt or feel, but i know shes happy and i have to live with it, even though im devastated

You better hope she doesn't google any part of your email, she might find this thread if sh does.

SophiaGrace said:

You better hope she doesn't google any part of your email, she might find this thread if sh does.

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google what part? how would she do that? wouldnt matter anyway she still wont speak to me and hates me

:S well I got the gist of what you wanted to say... I really hope this is just a draft. I mean there is a lot of feeling in this email. However, you seemed to have just vomited it out. The suicide threat in this email will turn her off. Well turn her off or make her want to be your master. Either way, it will end poorly.

Take what you can from this failure and move on. Time will make you feel better. You are too focused on what you lost. That is not what you need to do. You need to focus on yourself and yourself alone.

I don't know, but it seems like you want her to worry or get hurt. It sounds like you were writing a suicidal note sent to a specific person for purposes I don't understand. I know it must be hard to see someone you love happy with someone else while you are still getting over them. It must feel like you were cheated or unfairly treated. But, as you also wrote, you were the one who kissed someone else? I don't understand why you seem to want to make her guilty/upset/bothered.

I'm sorry for what has happened to you and what you are going through right now. I don't know if this is the case but after reading the letter, I could sense you being a bit selfish towards her. If you really love, don't make her worry or guilty, especially since you were the one who did the wrong thing. That is kinda unfair for her.

Also, love indeed never falters but I do believe love can change its form. Like from a romantic love to a sisterly/brotherly love or from a friendly love to a romantic one. I hope you find your way to love her like that and not only focus on the hurt that you feel right now, but also consider the hurt that you have inflicted to people. I do think people can get over heartaches, it's an agonizing process, I bet. But it's not just getting over someone, it's also realizing the bad traits we have and how to over come them. It's not just getting over one person, but getting over a life you would have lived and the person you would have become or the person you continue to be (if the relationship didn't end)

Take this chance to rebuild yourself and your life. Good luck, I really hope you will feel better.

it has ended and shes happy enough now and used to living in the nice big house we shared were as im struggling big time, dont know if shes been with someone else or not and if its best not to know but its wreckin me

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AFrozenSoul said:

:S well I got the gist of what you wanted to say... I really hope this is just a draft. I mean there is a lot of feeling in this email. However, you seemed to have just vomited it out. The suicide threat in this email will turn her off. Well turn her off or make her want to be your master. Either way, it will end poorly.

Take what you can from this failure and move on. Time will make you feel better. You are too focused on what you lost. That is not what you need to do. You need to focus on yourself and yourself alone.

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its almost a year, shes used to life and is happy im struggling bad especially living back at mums with no contact with her

Eeesh. You will move on you know...and if you're not already....you'll be so embarassed by this email.

I thought I was in love - and d'ya know what, I even used that "if you fall in love again it wasn't love" train of thought myself - with a girl when I was between the ages of 17 and 20. We broke up when I was 20 and I was distraught.
Didn't think I'd ever love again.
But I fell in love with another girl, and it was even stronger....we broke up after about 18months and I was pure gutted. Didn't see how I could carry on without her.
But I did.
And I met someone else. Been with him for 4 years now. My world would collapse if we split. I don't....ever think we will. But if we did? God everything that I have would be gone. We've built a life together and without his piece of the jigsaw, nothing would fit together anymore.

But I'd rebuild it.

And probably meet someone else.

Breaking up with someone is horrid. And hurts. And you don't know HOW you can move on.

But you will.

....I know noone likes to hear these kind of things. Everyone thinks "my love was the strongest, you can't possibly understand why I will never move on!"

But come on lad, in the least nasty way.... You cheated on her. Evaluate that. Was it REALLY love if you could forget her for a shallow meaningless kiss?

Chin up, deep breath, move on. You might want to cringe under the duvet for a while about this email....but once the embarassment subsides, it's time to brush yo'self off and make yourself ready to be a better man for the next person. Cause there'll be one.

Good luck
x

I have a person in my life I would love to let have it, let her know how much she hurt me with what she did. Like Callie said, she's written many letters like your email, but never sent them. Doing that is a way of getting all your emotions out, it's an age old trick. You just have to learn to move on and let go.

im trying everything possible to move on you name it, just hasnt worked. the fact shes happy and has moved on although it says shes single on her fb i don t know if thats a good or bad thing, i always wonder if shes been with someone else again i dont know if its better knowin or not, if i knew she hadnt been id feel better but if she had it be gutted but would it then be easier for me to move on and forget her altogether? i really dont know. im torchering myself everyday thinkin about us in the nice big house, flyin about in my sports car etc, ive lost it all includin my job and im in a financial mess plus shes takin me to court cuz i went over to try an get my stuff from the house an she rang the police, they said move on i did then couldnt get home as its miles away from my mums and i went back askin if she could help me but rang the police again then she said i was harassin her by sendin 4 fb mshs and 1 text msg, they ;lwernt malicious in anyway at all, she said months ago she was gonna change her number and could have blocked me on fb but didnt until yesterday

You need to be less emotional about things. No, really, read your own text and see if it seems rational at all. Being emotional will not help you now, and you really need to just stop.

What happened anyway? It seems like she just fell out of love with you. Well, in that case, its her fault.

How long were you with her? It almost sounds like there was a divorce and she is now living in the house where you earned, in which case, why aren't you hating her as would be appropriate?

i took her for granted too many times didnt show as much appreciation like i should have, she was pregnant and i didnt want a child as shes a catholic and would have been so complicated as it would have all been on her terms and on the day she was goin to manchester for the termination id been drinkin the night before and right through and fell asleep. woke up and she was gone i cracked up at myself trashed the house drank was so disgusted at me lettin her go alone im such an idiot. regards to the house i took a loan out for the 1st months rent in which she still owes me half but ill never see it and im flat broke. sold my car for the deposit in which shes gonna get if she moves out and i wont know when etc we were meant to marry 2weeks ago that was the set date a week after my birthday. ive brought it all on myself and livin with guilt its killin me

You basically made her have an abortion. There's not much hope for a relationship left after that, most of the time. Statistically the odds were against you, and you seem to have issues with both emotion and alcohol. Chalk it off to a loss, and be glad that you won't be paying child support.

For her part, you've made her do something that she will probably mourn for the rest of her entire life. If you really care for her, please leave her alone.

As for the house, I thought you had purchased it but apparently its a rental with some sort of mess. You don't have any decent job, do you? You really need to get your own life together. Stop drinking. You don't sound like you're responsible at all, and you need to sincerely get yourself together before you do anything else.

i didnt force her i said i wasnt ready, not like i went u better not have this or im walkin. ive applied for countless jobs had interviews, cuz ive been out of work with depression im findin it hard, i dont wanna sit in the house all the time or on benefits i hate it. drove to bangor yesterday for an orientation to become a self employed business executive am hopin that pulls off its just when im here in the house or on my own i think a lot, ive reduced my drinking significantly