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don`t really know how to flirt..
07-13-2011, 08:32 PM
Post: #1
don`t really know how to flirt..
i really dont know how to.
specially when there isnt much time to.
when you see someone on the buss or train or pas them on the street.
i know you look and smile, but thats about as far as i get.

there is this really cute girl behind the counter where i do my grosery shopping ones a week or so.
i always says hi and try to smile as best i can.
she say hi and smiles back, thats pretty much it.
when im standing in line im looking at her trying to spot if she looks at me to.
than i pay we say bye and thats it.

what can i do?
im really bad at the cheasy line things, makes me feel so fake when i try to use em.
i cant just say she`s cute can i ?
not really the time or place for that i think.
i dont even think id have the guts to do so.
im not even really trying to get anywhere with her really, i would just like to be able to flirt a little bit.

- anything clever i put in here will just sound stupid in the morning. -

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07-13-2011, 08:42 PM
Post: #2
RE: don`t really know how to flirt..
(07-13-2011 08:32 PM)paulo Wrote:  i really dont know how to.
specially when there isnt much time to.
when you see someone on the buss or train or pas them on the street.
i know you look and smile, but thats about as far as i get.

there is this really cute girl behind the counter where i do my grosery shopping ones a week or so.
i always says hi and try to smile as best i can.
she say hi and smiles back, thats pretty much it.
when im standing in line im looking at her trying to spot if she looks at me to.
than i pay we say bye and thats it.

what can i do?
im really bad at the cheasy line things, makes me feel so fake when i try to use em.
i cant just say she`s cute can i ?
not really the time or place for that i think.
i dont even think id have the guts to do so.
im not even really trying to get anywhere with her really, i would just like to be able to flirt a little bit.

Its a learned skill.

Comment on something about her which makes her pretty - you can certainly tell her that she's got a nice smile or some mannerism that is cute.

For me, the 'feel' of flirting is to just push the boundaries and yet be able to pull back quickly, so that it can always feel innocent with the implication that it isn't. Its the tension between suggestive and harmless which is what makes it fun, really.

As far as cheesy lines go, lol. I don't think they have much use except humor.

"The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity...a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe."

John Walter Wayland

“When you can't cheat the game, you'd best find a means to cheat the players.”

Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies
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07-13-2011, 08:44 PM
Post: #3
RE: don`t really know how to flirt..
Well, you don't have to flirt to attract her. Perhaps ask her if she's free for lunch one day. The cheesy lines may seem fake, and usually they are, but remember, some girls appreciate that you can even put yourself out on a limb like that. And to be able to joke around with a cheesy pick up line is a plus as well. Maybe over time, you can get to know her better. You never know what can happen.

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07-14-2011, 05:23 AM
Post: #4
RE: don`t really know how to flirt..
I don't think flirting is a mandatory skill. However, if you really want to learn to flirt, practice! Heck, go into the chat room. Unless things have changed since I was there, it's a great place to flirt meaninglessly. (No, wait, I totally meant it! I e-luff you all.)

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07-14-2011, 05:46 AM (This post was last modified: 07-14-2011 05:48 AM by Ak5.)
Post: #5
RE: don`t really know how to flirt..
I think it goes naturally. It can be trained and fine-tuned if you do it over and over again in my opinion. Do your best over and over again until you succeed. If the girl that your trying to firt with does not mind that your messing up and fumbling; then she likes you!

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07-14-2011, 08:03 PM
Post: #6
RE: don`t really know how to flirt..
(07-13-2011 08:42 PM)IgnoredOne Wrote:  For me, the 'feel' of flirting is to just push the boundaries and yet be able to pull back quickly, so that it can always feel innocent with the implication that it isn't. Its the tension between suggestive and harmless which is what makes it fun, really.

Agreed! I think what constitutes flirting is different depending on who you're doing it with. So a simple compliment to someone who is a stranger can be flirtatious, whereas if you knew the person well you'd have to be more overt.

Even a simple comment about how you always get service with a smile when she serves you can be flirtatious at this point; You're letter her know that you've noticed her.
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07-14-2011, 09:10 PM (This post was last modified: 07-14-2011 09:11 PM by paulo.)
Post: #7
RE: don`t really know how to flirt..
(07-14-2011 08:03 PM)DaveIsLonely Wrote:  agreed! I think what constitutes flirting is different depending on who you're doing it with. So a simple compliment to someone who is a stranger can be flirtatious, whereas if you knew the person well you'd have to be more overt.

i think im a little to open and maybe a little to friendly.
i tend to treat every one like a friend even if i dont know them untill they prove to be otherwise.
that doesnt work well with everyone.
therefore im really really carefull when i dont wanne screw up, to carefull probably.
cause it aint comming acros.

so ill just have to practise and learn ?
im not necessarily trying to attract anyone but it seems like fun when it works.

- anything clever i put in here will just sound stupid in the morning. -
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07-14-2011, 09:27 PM
Post: #8
RE: don`t really know how to flirt..
(07-14-2011 09:10 PM)paulo Wrote:  
(07-14-2011 08:03 PM)DaveIsLonely Wrote:  agreed! I think what constitutes flirting is different depending on who you're doing it with. So a simple compliment to someone who is a stranger can be flirtatious, whereas if you knew the person well you'd have to be more overt.

i think im a little to open and maybe a little to friendly.
i tend to treat every one like a friend even if i dont know them untill they prove to be otherwise.
that doesnt work well with everyone.
therefore im really really carefull when i dont wanne screw up, to carefull probably.
cause it aint comming acros.

so ill just have to practise and learn ?
im not necessarily trying to attract anyone but it seems like fun when it works.

Well, a lot of it has to do with reading body language. Personally, I just crashed and burned a lot at first - dunno if you want to go that route, though. It is fun!

"The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity...a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe."

John Walter Wayland

“When you can't cheat the game, you'd best find a means to cheat the players.”

Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies
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07-15-2011, 03:25 AM
Post: #9
RE: don`t really know how to flirt..
Treat her like a friend, why wouldn't you?

Go up to her, say hi, vibe with her. Get a flow in the conversation. Is she making it hard for you? Ask her stuff and branch off with something she gives you (she gives you very much when you set up a question and she answers).

To avoid being "the friend", you need to escalate it. You can't just come over to her and talk to her every now and then, and walk off. You need to have some fun conversation, and then you walk away - with her number on your cellphone! You ask for her number, you get it, call her at once so she has your number (and you know its her number^^), then walk off with a big grin on your face.

Be confident, have fun, ask for the number. Bam, you've already made it clear you aren't there to be friends.
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07-15-2011, 03:36 AM
Post: #10
RE: don`t really know how to flirt..
(07-15-2011 03:25 AM)trZ Wrote:  Treat her like a friend, why wouldn't you?

I think he's just trying to flirt, lol. Not always the same thing, though I do think that what you suggested would work well if he was after the girl.

"The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity...a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe."

John Walter Wayland

“When you can't cheat the game, you'd best find a means to cheat the players.”

Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies

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