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Being Ignored Hurts..
07-19-2011, 08:55 AM
Post: #1
Being Ignored Hurts..
Well i went into a small cafe one time, to buy something to eat, and i saw a friend of mine waiting for his order..we are very good friends, but there has been some time between us, as in work, new friends etc..but as i walked in i acknowledged him and he looked over to me and just blanked me!

He couldnt care less, and there was me looking stupid holding a smile and hands half way out to shake his hand, but thankfully i got the message, and just walked by confused and quite hurt.

We were good friends, but i dont understand why people have to change into complete idiots..i guess the more you stay the same, the more people change.

Im a friendly guy, and not an idiot, but to be blanked and have all that thrown into your face ate at me, and i felt so low, lonely and stupid. The feeling was unbearable i was just left there dumbfounded..prior to seeing him at the cafe, we joked a months back through text etc etc..but for him to change like that, hit hard.

He definitely saw me, there was that moment where the world around you stood still, and you had a stare off where your eyes both locked...but he just blanked me completely.

So guys im trying to move on..but was surprised by how much it hurt emotionally and the way it drained some of my confidence away.

Anybody felt the same, and how did you get over it, i believe time is the best remedy..
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07-19-2011, 09:06 AM
Post: #2
RE: Being Ignored Hurts..
Sorry. The fact that other people are idiots isn't your fault and you shouldn't take it personally. Forgive him for being a moron, for they are legion and they know not of their stupidity.

"The True Gentleman is the man whose conduct proceeds from good will and an acute sense of propriety, and whose self-control is equal to all emergencies; who does not make the poor man conscious of his poverty, the obscure man of his obscurity, or any man of his inferiority or deformity...a man with whom honor is sacred and virtue safe."

John Walter Wayland

“When you can't cheat the game, you'd best find a means to cheat the players.”

Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies
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07-19-2011, 01:19 PM
Post: #3
RE: Being Ignored Hurts..
maybe he didn't recognize you and was like "fuck, who was that?" while he stood there blankly trying to remember.
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07-19-2011, 01:21 PM
Post: #4
RE: Being Ignored Hurts..
That's something you would do, Lim.

“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense.
Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't.
And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would.

You see?”


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07-19-2011, 04:23 PM (This post was last modified: 07-19-2011 04:25 PM by beans.)
Post: #5
RE: Being Ignored Hurts..
(07-19-2011 08:55 AM)LoneAs Wrote:  Well i went into a small cafe one time, to buy something to eat, and i saw a friend of mine waiting for his order..we are very good friends, but there has been some time between us, as in work, new friends etc..but as i walked in i acknowledged him and he looked over to me and just blanked me!

He couldnt care less, and there was me looking stupid holding a smile and hands half way out to shake his hand, but thankfully i got the message, and just walked by confused and quite hurt.

We were good friends, but i dont understand why people have to change into complete idiots..i guess the more you stay the same, the more people change.

Im a friendly guy, and not an idiot, but to be blanked and have all that thrown into your face ate at me, and i felt so low, lonely and stupid. The feeling was unbearable i was just left there dumbfounded..prior to seeing him at the cafe, we joked a months back through text etc etc..but for him to change like that, hit hard.

He definitely saw me, there was that moment where the world around you stood still, and you had a stare off where your eyes both locked...but he just blanked me completely.

So guys im trying to move on..but was surprised by how much it hurt emotionally and the way it drained some of my confidence away.

Anybody felt the same, and how did you get over it, i believe time is the best remedy..

I've had a lot of experiences with this. A LOT. It happens to me a lot too because I am sort of very polite, prim, proper, but shy and soft.

I notice that people tend to ignore personalities like that more than someone who is loud and arrogant. It's almost people LIKE loud and arrogant personalities and see it as a challenge. So if you're not too confident, a little quiet and very respectful, often people don't care to acknowledge you.

What that guy did was rude and please don't let him rob your confidence. In life, you have to be a little 'tougher' in your mind and be more resistant to rude and selfish people otherwise, it will be hard for you to explore other friendships that can be positive and meaningful for you.

A lot of times, we are reading into too many lines based on some actions. I have just too many experiences with this but if you ever face a situation like that again, I would advise you to judge it based on facts and not respond to emotions. A lot of us lonelies always live by feelings and not facts. For example, when the guy did that, how do you know for a fact that he is

1) not having a bad day
2) insecure himself
3) thinking about other things
4) has a grudge towards people
5) has trust issues with people
6) doesn't want to remember any of his past 'friends'

You don't really know why he reacted that way.

It's good to always ask yourself "What proof do I have about this person that treated me like shit that something must be wrong with me for them to not like me?"

What proof do I have that they don't even like me in the first place?

There could be 1001 reasons and most times it has NOTHING to do with you.
(07-19-2011 01:21 PM)Doubt The Rabbit Wrote:  That's something you would do, Lim.

LOL

"Most of us prefer comfort to risk, even if that comfort turns into loneliness."
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07-19-2011, 04:33 PM
Post: #6
RE: Being Ignored Hurts..
Just saying it happens -_- Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by idiocy.
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07-19-2011, 04:45 PM
Post: #7
RE: Being Ignored Hurts..
(07-19-2011 04:33 PM)Limlim Wrote:  Just saying it happens -_- Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by idiocy.

Gawd for once, you wrote something so profound.

"Most of us prefer comfort to risk, even if that comfort turns into loneliness."
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07-20-2011, 02:26 AM
Post: #8
RE: Being Ignored Hurts..
Yep! Been there! Done that! Can't afford the T Shirt!

Not long after leaving school (around 35 years ago), I saw one of the co-ex-schoolers and did the "John B-----s!" happiness smile and extended my hand for a handshake. He turned red, tried very little to hide his cynical, mocking smile and walked away as if I were a pervert who had just asked him for a blow job!

Same thing happened to a good friend and I, in the local library, when we spotted another co-ex-schooler. We walked over to him and he carried on taking books off the shelf and pretending to be reading them and not even acknowledging to us that we'd even spoken to him. He had on a very bad blue off-the-peg suit and a copy of The Times with him. I think he fancied himself as a bit of a hi-finance whizz-kid. My friend just said to me, "Come on, Ian...it's clear that he just doesn't wanna know us!" So, we walked away.

Contrast that with me having bumped into another co-ex-schooler, we nicknamed "Taffy". The first words that guy ever said to me where, "You are thick (as in stupid)", after I'd bungled a blackboard answer during a simple quiz question thing, after exams, in secondary school. About a year after leaving school, I saw him driving by, slowly taking a corner close to which I happened to be standing, waiting to cross. He saw me, too. He pulled over, extended a hand for a handshake that was spiritedly reciprocated on and then offered me a lift. We chatted about the old school days. He offered to ferry me around from shop to shop and then on to wherever I was going. That guy and I, at secondary/high school, had had barely a full sentence to say to each other. Once, (back in school) when I was about to get into a fight that he and I knew I stood no chance of winning, he did everything he could to stop me waiting around, trying to get me to just go home and forget the incident concerned. He wasn't even in what I considered to be my circle of friends, at school, and had never shown the slightest interest in being so.

The Angels are in the detail...not the Devil!

Some know how to reach out and others simply don't. Others hold old, schooldays grudges and can't forget them.

Everybody from our history is important, but it's only a few of us who seem to know it and act on it. If we have time for them, they should, in all decency, have time for us.
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07-28-2011, 04:12 AM
Post: #9
RE: Being Ignored Hurts..
(07-19-2011 01:19 PM)Limlim Wrote:  maybe he didn't recognize you and was like "fuck, who was that?" while he stood there blankly trying to remember.

He 100% saw me, there Was the moment where we held our gaze, he knew it was me, i knew it was him and he just blanked me. The cafe i walked in is very small and when you walk in, the cashier is very close.
(07-19-2011 04:23 PM)beans Wrote:  
(07-19-2011 08:55 AM)LoneAs Wrote:  Well i went into a small cafe one time, to buy something to eat, and i saw a friend of mine waiting for his order..we are very good friends, but there has been some time between us, as in work, new friends etc..but as i walked in i acknowledged him and he looked over to me and just blanked me!

He couldnt care less, and there was me looking stupid holding a smile and hands half way out to shake his hand, but thankfully i got the message, and just walked by confused and quite hurt.

We were good friends, but i dont understand why people have to change into complete idiots..i guess the more you stay the same, the more people change.

Im a friendly guy, and not an idiot, but to be blanked and have all that thrown into your face ate at me, and i felt so low, lonely and stupid. The feeling was unbearable i was just left there dumbfounded..prior to seeing him at the cafe, we joked a months back through text etc etc..but for him to change like that, hit hard.

He definitely saw me, there was that moment where the world around you stood still, and you had a stare off where your eyes both locked...but he just blanked me completely.

So guys im trying to move on..but was surprised by how much it hurt emotionally and the way it drained some of my confidence away.

Anybody felt the same, and how did you get over it, i believe time is the best remedy..

I've had a lot of experiences with this. A LOT. It happens to me a lot too because I am sort of very polite, prim, proper, but shy and soft.

I notice that people tend to ignore personalities like that more than someone who is loud and arrogant. It's almost people LIKE loud and arrogant personalities and see it as a challenge. So if you're not too confident, a little quiet and very respectful, often people don't care to acknowledge you.

What that guy did was rude and please don't let him rob your confidence. In life, you have to be a little 'tougher' in your mind and be more resistant to rude and selfish people otherwise, it will be hard for you to explore other friendships that can be positive and meaningful for you.

A lot of times, we are reading into too many lines based on some actions. I have just too many experiences with this but if you ever face a situation like that again, I would advise you to judge it based on facts and not respond to emotions. A lot of us lonelies always live by feelings and not facts. For example, when the guy did that, how do you know for a fact that he is

1) not having a bad day
2) insecure himself
3) thinking about other things
4) has a grudge towards people
5) has trust issues with people
6) doesn't want to remember any of his past 'friends'

You don't really know why he reacted that way.

It's good to always ask yourself "What proof do I have about this person that treated me like shit that something must be wrong with me for them to not like me?"

What proof do I have that they don't even like me in the first place?

There could be 1001 reasons and most times it has NOTHING to do with you.
(07-19-2011 01:21 PM)Doubt The Rabbit Wrote:  That's something you would do, Lim.

LOL

True I dont know what is happening with him but normally we were on good terms, and the fact that he blanked me, just puzzled me and actually hurt. We were on very good terms, and i know him as person well. But we have not spoken since the incident, i drew the line that he has changed and probably moved on, i dont particularly get on with his friends well, i dont like them, they dont like me (we both know this), so maybe he was severing ties in a sense, he spends majority of his time with his own group of friends that i dont get along with, but even then, we still got on well together.
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07-28-2011, 06:04 AM
Post: #10
RE: Being Ignored Hurts..
I had that happen to me once. I was working on a corn crew for the summer and there was an old friend of mine on the crew. Now we hadn't seen each other since we were 13, we went to different high schools. It had only been about 3 maybe 4 years. We grew up together, we knew each other since we were 3 years old. He didn't recognize me at all, he acted like I was a complete stranger to him. That kind of threw me because I have a twin brother and people always recognize us, even people that haven't seen us in decades. It hurt, and I was really disturbed by it, yet he did remember a few other friends of ours, some that he hadn't seen for the same amount of time. But as we got to "reknow" each other I found out that he got heavy into drugs, and he even admitted that's probably why he didn't remember me. Too many fried brain cells, he didn't remember a lot of people, those he did only vaguely. Funny thing, in our grade 8 yearbooks he wrote "Remember M, Remember E, but most of all Remember ME". See kids that's why drugs are bad!! Big Grin

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