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miasaokim

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Hi there, I'm new here and don't know if this is a real problem, but please let me let it out of my head and heart.

After graduated, I continued studying while my former classmates went to work. We slowly became strangers for traveling on different roads. First, it was not a problem. I was obsessed with a movie, and found an international forum about it. I came there, talk about my beloved character, writing, drawing...I was living with a great passion.
But then time passed and passion faded away. I realized there was something wrong with my life (not only about the obsession), also the studying didn't go well (again, not because the obsession). I got stressed.
During that time,my family was there but I still felt alone, basically we don't have understanding.
When I was having fun at the forum, I made some friends. One of them was there, listened to all my troubles. Though her listening and sharing didn't help much, somehow I went through that hard time and stood up.

I found a job, met some new people and things was going up. And then I figured out that I was being used since the salary is low and the job wasn't like it should be. I quited and found another one. This job is better, or at least I like it.

I have to stick with the computer whole day, but if I feel tired, I can surf the internet, watch movie, chat...as long as I finish the work in time, it's fine.

And then troubles come again.

The colleagues are friendly, but are not real friends. Maybe because I'm a new commer; however, as I see, they treat each other the same way not only me.
I have computer and internet all day, and when I go home, still me and the computer ( or TV, which I think is the same). I have friends now, but we're not that close to hang out everyday, or to call and talk about useless thing.

During working hours, sometimes I'd like to chat with someone for a few minutes. Not about something important, maybe just about a news on TV or a cute shirt I saw in the shop this morning. And I can't find anyone. Think again, I don't have many friends in my chatting friend list, first because I don't like to add people whom I don't know or don't share interested. And second, if there's a person I only meet on internet, after a while when we don't have anything to chat about, I'll remove him. I believe it's good that way, why should I have hundreds names in my list but none of them that I know?

Yet, now I need someone to chat and there's nearly no one. I have my classmates in here, some younger friends who are still studying so they don't have time online. And some from other countries with different timezone.

I don't know if this is a problem or all the feelings before are coming back: fear, loneliness...I just know it's an uncomfortable feeling that I want it to disapppear. I tried some chatting forum but it didn't work. I got tired answering "where're you from" "what do you do"...

I'm thinking of apply for some active class after work, like dancing or so. But I need money which I don't have right now so I'll have to wait for a couple months. But right now I don't know what to do with the feeling in need of someone acompany me online...
 
Talk to me whenever, I always reply and'll talk about anything anyone wants, cause i'm just that flexible:)
 
You have internet addiction.
Intuitively you know this already.
Its why your youre looking for actual real life actvities...

Been there.. done that..and still going through it.

Alter your pattern or break the cycle.
Drive to a local park instead of going straight home..Get out side and stay outside....
I had to force myself to do this...
Sit at a park bench for an hour
(plenty of people out and abot.lol)
while my mind and body went through withdraws....
A minimum of 6 weeks to alter behaviors patterns.

Graully I build on that. I went out eating alone. To a mall. To support groups. Bascailly putting myself out in the real world to meet real people.

Then youll actually notice ..alot of people dont really use the internet that much or their lives dosnt evole around the net.

Graully..I didnt come home until midnight case I was alway out hanging with people..mostly with a couple of women.LOL

I sort of back tracked. I have a GF.
So I stay home most of the time now.
Spending more time on the net again.


6 month ago, when I was living
with Renae., we went out almost
everynight...but we parttied too
**** hard. Met too many people.
got to roudie..

We stuble upon everyonce in a while.
It was another activity we did together...not chatting.

Today my current GF rather have me at home...She has her reasons.lol

It dose help to have a partner but it dosnt solve my addiction issues or
me being happy.

My GF or Renae cant make me happy...after the honey moon stage a person will relize this.

 
You seem like you're just withdrawing from everything and everyone, despite feeling a need for company. What's happening?

I'm not sure if it is just me, but I grew up with a quite a few online friends back when we were all 14 or so in a private. Its been many years since, but most of us have met offline, become friends - a few have even married each other. In retrospect, it really does seem like this kind of tightness, where any real distinction between online and offline is minimal, seems unusual. It might have been because we were almost all male.

I suppose I'm lucky like that.
 
It's a bit different from last time, maybe just a lighter feeling. Last time I felt I was the only person on earth, too lonely to tolerate. Now, I have some relationships even though we can't often hang out. And I'm planing on taking some activities so it's just the matter of time. Moreover, sooner or later I think I would become close with my colleagues. I mean I do feel a little lonely now, but I have solutions and don't feel desperate.

I can't explain this feeling I have now, just know that it's very uncomfortable. Like I said I want someone to talk about useless things, but it's not like anyone is fine. For example, if my classmate/friend/ or even internet friend (but I already know him for a while), say hi and talk about how her haughty boss is, I would feel like talking, feel excited on the topic. But if it goes like this: go to a chat-room, find someone :"where're you from", "what do you do" "oh, you know what: I hate my boss..." I would get bored in no time.

It's the "feeling of talking" that I want.

Perhaps I like to talk to people I know or at least share thing in common. Last time I make friend on internet, we talk about the movie, about the characters and then go on about our personal lives. To me, it's more "natural"...

Anyway, I just don't want to have this uncomfortable feeling anymore!
 
Hi, I wonder if maybe you'd like to join some clubs or find other means of making friends. It can be really tough keeping friendships with college mates or even working mates. If your'e lucky, it blossoms from there but most average people usually have friends outside of

1) work
2) college

after a while as everyone seems to be having their own lives to run.

It does seem you are lonely, I know that feeling, and you think having someone to chat online would sort of help temporarily. It does but try to look for friendships in the real world. It's tough, but don't give up.
 

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