Don't find things fun anymore

I'm quite a boring guy and I often whine and complains a lot, because I don't find enjoyment in a lot of things in life, perhaps it's some kind of avoidant personality disorder, but regardless I'm just a pretty boring guy.

I have a few hobbies but nowadays I enjoy them less and less, I'm really picky with stuff and if I find something wrong with what I'm doing and I don't know the solution to make them better, I get bored of it, for example, I get burn out from jogging, it becomes a chore, I get depressed half way through them even if I set a routine and jog everyday, but after 2 months, I go through this period where I just feel disgusted over the activity because it is just so ******* boring and tedious, I never liked them to begin with, I just force myself to because obviously exercise would make me feel less depressed.

Same goes to every other thing, it feels like there isn't a motive behind these, I play badminton with my brother and his friends, it gets hella boring because people don't get much better, I'm just swinging my racket on reflex and more often than not it feels like a game of luck, there are periods where I get satisfaction but it becomes rare, people don't change, they don't get better, they make the same mistakes and I watch the same honeysuckle every god **** week, *I* don't get better and so now what? Of course I pretend to be enjoying it every week, because obviously they are enjoying it just fine, I don't want to honeysuckle on their parade.

I don't really know how to appreciate things anymore and be happy about them, they're there for me to enjoy, but I don't, it feels like nothing drives me to do them, I especially hate it when people tell me "do it for yourself, keep doing what you enjoy", I used to draw a lot and even when I think about it now, I don't really know why, perhaps I have a message to tell? No I don't, I just like pretty stuff. Some people tell me "Just do whatever that makes you happy", well, nothing really makes me happy, I'm sorry I just can't appreciate things as much as you do, therefore I stopped talking to these people, I don't want to lie in their face and act enthusiastic, when I clearly don't give a honeysuckle, "fake it til you make it"? It didn't work, I can't fight my innerself that just don't care, in fact it feels like if I repressed myself, it just backfires on me one day when I just can't lie to myself anymore.

What could I do, how do I enjoy life again? It feels like I ruin everything I'm trying to do with my negative thoughts.

Why aren't you improving at your game? I think you're just going through the motions, and perhaps if you focused on how to improve your game, you'll see progress and that'll be very satisfying. I play badminton and there's definitely weaknesses you can try to find and eliminate - economy of motion, for example, and positioning.

Sounds like a classic case of depression.I know it well.

IgnoredOne said:

Why aren't you improving at your game? I think you're just going through the motions, and perhaps if you focused on how to improve your game, you'll see progress and that'll be very satisfying. I play badminton and there's definitely weaknesses you can try to find and eliminate - economy of motion, for example, and positioning.

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It's kind of hard to improve, I guess I could try to work harder on improving my basic skills and fundamentals, but I'm not really feeling it, I often just resort to doing things my way, I do see improvements after a while, but I don't get the excitement too often, I think what I mean is I enjoy the thrill when the 2 teams are doing good and the score is really close, but it rarely happens.

We're playing 2 on 2, so others will also need to adjust to make the game fun, and sometimes that's not really possible, so it's really inconsistent, so more often than not there's this 10 points gap between the 2 teams all the time, I guess there just isn't a chemistry, people are just playing for fun and don't really expect much out of it, but I understand that.

Jilted John said:

Sounds like a classic case of depression.I know it well.

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Yea, I read that doing things little by little would help, and the whole "fake it til you make it" advice, but I think things just end up getting tedious the more you repeat it and expecting to climb higher, something just drags you back down.

"Fake it til you make it" god that is terrible advice, whoever says that needs to be smacked upside the head. You've tried faking it and it hasn't done anything for you, seems like it is making things worse. You're obviously depressed, and need to sort out why. What is bringing you down and making enjoy what you used to less? There's gotta be something.

"Faking it until you make it" works very well, but I don't think its relevant to the OP. It refers to faking having a trait until you actually have it; for example, if you pretend that you're good at math and really want to keep up that pretension, you'll end up not only having the confidence but likely put in the work until you are good at math. Specifically it often refers to confidence with women, and again, its valid.

I don't think tis valid to the OP. I don't think you can fake 'enjoying life' until you really enjoy life. That's not a trait to gain, that's a result.

I think the issue here is you don't know what you want which /is/ fun. What do you really, really want from life? Keep jotting down things until you think you have that. Without a goal, you're not having much guidance in your work.

IgnoredOne said:

I don't think tis valid to the OP. I don't think you can fake 'enjoying life' until you really enjoy life. That's not a trait to gain, that's a result.

I think the issue here is you don't know what you want which /is/ fun. What do you really, really want from life? Keep jotting down things until you think you have that. Without a goal, you're not having much guidance in your work.

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I'm not sure, I just want to be happy I guess, it's a paradox, the things I'm suppose to find fun isn't making me happy, I can't grasp the concept of people telling me "Just do whatever that makes you happy", I always want to ask if they're just straight out lying to me, maybe I just don't love my hobbies enough, not as much as they do, but I really don't have anything else.

Sci-Fi said:

"Fake it til you make it" god that is terrible advice, whoever says that needs to be smacked upside the head. You've tried faking it and it hasn't done anything for you, seems like it is making things worse. You're obviously depressed, and need to sort out why. What is bringing you down and making enjoy what you used to less? There's gotta be something.

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I have no idea, I guess I might be expecting too much out of myself, which might be the reason that leads to disappointment and depression, I felt like I'm focusing on the outcome more than the actual progress most of the time.

Lawrens said:

IgnoredOne said:

I don't think tis valid to the OP. I don't think you can fake 'enjoying life' until you really enjoy life. That's not a trait to gain, that's a result.

I think the issue here is you don't know what you want which /is/ fun. What do you really, really want from life? Keep jotting down things until you think you have that. Without a goal, you're not having much guidance in your work.

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I'm not sure, I just want to be happy I guess, it's a paradox, the things I'm suppose to find fun isn't making me happy, I can't grasp the concept of people telling me "Just do whatever that makes you happy", I always want to ask if they're just straight out lying to me, maybe I just don't love my hobbies enough, not as much as they do, but I really don't have anything else.

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As silly as it sounds, maybe you just need to randomly look up new things to try. You might just be bored.