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Marriage for companionship.
12-11-2011, 04:23 AM
Post: #1
Marriage for companionship.
I am so lonely that I am wondering if I should look for a partner to marry based on companionship rather than love, as I don't think that I am loveable because noone has ever fallen in love with me. I am in my 50's and can make friends, so am thinking that maybe a companionship marriage would be better than nothing, though at the same time I might end up feeling short changed and empty emotionally. Does anyone know of anyone who has married for companionship and who is happy with it? Has anyone here ever thought about it, or am I being stupid?


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12-11-2011, 04:29 AM
Post: #2
RE: Marriage for companionship.
(12-11-2011 04:23 AM)Tiina63 Wrote:  I am so lonely that I am wondering if I should look for a partner to marry based on companionship rather than love, as I don't think that I am loveable because noone has ever fallen in love with me. I am in my 50's and can make friends, so am thinking that maybe a companionship marriage would be better than nothing, though at the same time I might end up feeling short changed and empty emotionally. Does anyone know of anyone who has married for companionship and who is happy with it? Has anyone here ever thought about it, or am I being stupid?

I know people who are partnered but not married (my aunt and her partner), but no one who is married for companionship.

Surely love is companionship? There's sexual attraction, obviously, but I think that can come with simply realising that you really like spending time with someone. Spending time with someone + attraction = love?

I'd advise you to not give up looking for love. As a younger person with a different gender I can't really understand the waiting for love to happen thing so well, but perhaps you need to simply "get out there" more and make it happen?

I'm sure if you start taking active interest in a man you feel attraction to in some way that it will be reciprocated eventually Smile

Good luck!

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things...and no good thing ever dies."
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12-11-2011, 05:26 AM
Post: #3
RE: Marriage for companionship.
Thank you for your reply. When I write about a marriage based on companionship, it would be a friendship, not a love relationship. Love always includes companionship, but companionship does not always include love. I have started this year to push myself to go out to places where I might meet someone who I would have things in common with, such as discussion groups and reading groups, instead of just relying on online dating. I know you are right to advise me not to give up on love, as in my heart of hearts I would really like to meet someone to love and be loved by.


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12-11-2011, 05:35 AM
Post: #4
RE: Marriage for companionship.
I wouldnt advise anyone to marry for any other reason than true love. This is someone you are going to spend the rest of your life with, wake up to learn their bad behaviours and manners. Love will be the only thing that will be solid enough to keep that marriage together. Having said that i dont believe that love happens only at first sight. Clearly Hollywood marriages is mostly based on love at first sight basis and most of it fails within a few years if not sooner. I think you could be mildly infatuated with someone and learn to love and be loved and have something stronger than all the bells and whistles associated with the feelings of being inlove. Love is not a feeling but a choice of laying yourself down for the benefit of someone else. Most when this is done the love is reciprocated by the other person. In a nutshell, i dont see it a major problem marrying for companionship as long as you know beyond a shadow of doubt what type of person you are getting involved with. Love can bloom from a marriage like that.
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12-11-2011, 11:50 AM
Post: #5
RE: Marriage for companionship.
Tina~ I don't think that is a bad idea at all! Why not? It would be nice to have a man to go out with, socialize with, what have you.

I don't think that is a bad idea. Besides, in your age group, that is often what men are looking for.

(12-11-2011 04:23 AM)Tiina63 Wrote:  I am so lonely that I am wondering if I should look for a partner to marry based on companionship rather than love, as I don't think that I am loveable because noone has ever fallen in love with me. I am in my 50's and can make friends, so am thinking that maybe a companionship marriage would be better than nothing, though at the same time I might end up feeling short changed and empty emotionally. Does anyone know of anyone who has married for companionship and who is happy with it? Has anyone here ever thought about it, or am I being stupid?
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12-11-2011, 12:18 PM
Post: #6
RE: Marriage for companionship.
Why not?



Seriously.

Other than a bunch of moral mumbo jumbo people like to throw at the subject I can't think of any real negatives. Companionship is just as important as 'love' at any point in a person's life.

I'm in my twenties and wouldn't enjoy anything more than someone to keep me company and journey with me the rest of my days. If I fall in love with her than even better.


Of course being so young you can take whatever I say with a grain of salt. Toungue

Best of luck whichever path you choose.


~How doth the little crocodile
Improve his shining tail,
And pour the waters of the Nile
On every golden scale!

How cheerfully he seems to grin,
How neatly spreads his claws,
And welcomes little fishes in
With gently smiling jaws!~
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12-11-2011, 03:16 PM
Post: #7
RE: Marriage for companionship.
I think it's a good idea. Let's do it Smile
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12-11-2011, 03:44 PM
Post: #8
RE: Marriage for companionship.
I thought that's what marriage was supposed to be?

Hi. To clarify, I'm a guy.
[Image: qKUaUbL.gif]
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12-12-2011, 03:04 AM
Post: #9
RE: Marriage for companionship.
I am single and available for this experiment. [Image: biggrin.gif]
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12-26-2011, 09:59 PM
Post: #10
RE: Marriage for companionship.
Sometimes in relationships you might think that you should be happy for the little that you are getting. Besides, who else is going to put up with you? That is completely the wrong mindset and instead you should be thinking about the many men/women who would love to be around you.


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