I don't see the point in living anymore.

I am 16 years old and I have been lonely ever since my father died in 2004. My parents don't have time to be with me anymore because they are always working.

I recently got a girlfriend and within four days she broke up with me because she had too many problems to be in a relationship at the moment. The four days that I had her were the only four days in about 6 years that i've truly be happy. After she broke up with me and I go back to my boring and lonely routine in life I figured something


I just can't take it anymore. I am frustrated that I can't make a single true friend in my school or at home. I am frustrated that every time I flirt with a girl she laughs or scoffs at me. I am frustrated with this wretched life. I want to end it all but due to my instincts, I am not able. I just want to be happy and every time I am happy it gets taken away very quickly.

Why do I have to go to school everyday and get insulted for no reason when I have done nothing to harm anyone. I can honestly say the only two things that hold me back from ending this horrendous life is that I have made it my goal in life to contribute to the preservation of the human race by the colonization of our solar system and my instinct, being human, tells me not to.

Have you considered joining a science club at school? I know they had a robotics club at mine.

SophiaGrace said:

Have you considered joining a science club at school? I know they had a robotics club at mine.

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They told me there was no science club.

A single true friend is a rare occurrence. Do you at least have someone to hang out with?

Welcome to the forum. I sympathize with your experience because my time at school was similar. I didn't lose my father, but I had a bad relationship with my family then. I never had any real lasting friendships either; Just people that turned out to be using me. A girl once pretended to be interested in me just so she could humiliate me in front of her friends. I would get bashed on a regular basis and the school staff not only didn't help me, but once punished me for defending myself when I was attacked. Many times I had lost all hope and didn't see the point in living either... I became angry at society and hated humanity with a passion. I think it's this anger that actually gave me some strength to keep going, and somehow I actually made it through and graduated. What a relief it was getting away from the idiots at school... I started to enjoy life again. I'm glad I persevered. I'm writing this because I hope you will realize that you too don't have to give up on life over this temporary issue. You are not the problem; it's the people at school, and you won't have to be around them forever. In fact, you've only got a relatively short while left before you'll get away from them and be able to spend time with the decent people you want and who genuinely care about you. You've done a good thing reaching out to others for help.

This might sound silly, but each time I feel there's no hope, no future and things look extremely bleak, I always remember these words:

On ne meurt qu'une fois; et c'est pour si longtemps. (We die only once, and for such a long time)

I read it while at Père-Lachaise, I think it's on Moliere's grave. Anyway, it always makes me realise how little time we actually have. Death can wait if you ask me.

Yes but in my case this temporary issue is life. I am tired of it. Literally, I look at the sky and know how I am going to die. I highly doubt at the moment it will be of natural. I somehow just know that I will be to blame for the cause of my death. Maybe at 20, 25, i'm not sure.

You have the rest of your life to worry about this. Don't worry.

Where are you from black kid?

SomeBlackKid said:

Yes but in my case this temporary issue is life. I am tired of it. Literally, I look at the sky and know how I am going to die. I highly doubt at the moment it will be of natural. I somehow just know that I will be to blame for the cause of my death. Maybe at 20, 25, i'm not sure.

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It's not life, but your current circumstances, and they ARE temporary. I know you're hurting, and it feels like it's never going to stop.. But you have to realize that your mind is probably under the influence of depression, which distorts your perception of reality and deludes you into thinking that there is no hope. There is. I'm not just talking out of my ass; I've been in that situation myself. I know your mother is busy working a lot, but have you tried telling her about your struggle? Do you have a brother or sister to confide in?

SophiaGrace said:

Where are you from black kid?

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I am from Maryland

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I have felt sad before but never depressed. I had a girlfriend that recently broke up with me. The relationship lasted four days. Those four days were some of the happiest days that i've had in six years... I was so happy. I would come home smiling everyday and couldn't wait for the next day, and then the day after valentines day she broke up with me. It's not like I dropped into a depression because she broke up with me... it's just that I was so used to be unhappy and lonely that when I finally found someone I could hold and talk to I simply do not want to go back living the life I did before. I feel as though I would rather die than going back to loneliness and frustration. It gets me so angry that I have to be this lonely while everyone else has someone rather it be friends or a girlfriend to talk to. All I want is three friends or a girlfriend. I am sick of living a life where I receive nothing but insults and when I do receive a compliment, especially from a girl, I always take it as her being sarcastic.

Take it from me, best thing you can do is "survive" and continue trying.

SomeBlackKid said:

I am 16 years old and I have been lonely ever since my father died in 2004. My parents don't have time to be with me anymore because they are always working.

I recently got a girlfriend and within four days she broke up with me because she had too many problems to be in a relationship at the moment. The four days that I had her were the only four days in about 6 years that i've truly be happy. After she broke up with me and I go back to my boring and lonely routine in life I figured something


I just can't take it anymore. I am frustrated that I can't make a single true friend in my school or at home. I am frustrated that every time I flirt with a girl she laughs or scoffs at me. I am frustrated with this wretched life. I want to end it all but due to my instincts, I am not able. I just want to be happy and every time I am happy it gets taken away very quickly.

Why do I have to go to school everyday and get insulted for no reason when I have done nothing to harm anyone. I can honestly say the only two things that hold me back from ending this horrendous life is that I have made it my goal in life to contribute to the preservation of the human race by the colonization of our solar system and my instinct, being human, tells me not to.

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u jst summed up what i feel like in a few pragraphs man

There's no going back once you do something. You are 16 years old and a lot can change in a few years after school is done. As for your happiness being taken away.. well I do understand that people can make you feel like crud, but only you can make yourself truely happy. When people say things or act mean towards you...it's their personal issues, not you.

Okiedokes said:

There's no going back once you do something. You are 16 years old and a lot can change in a few years after school is done. As for your happiness being taken away.. well I do understand that people can make you feel like crud, but only you can make yourself truely happy. When people say things or act mean towards you...it's their personal issues, not you.

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No the way people treat me is only icing on the cake... It's just that I want to be happy.. And it got taken away so quickly.

There's a reason why the Declaration of Independence of the United States states the unalienable right of "the pursuit of happiness" not "happiness".

Dear SomeBlackKid, please hang in there, most intelligent, sensitive, special people that can change the world feel or felt exactly like you when they were 16, it always always always changes, a hug

Many years ago, when I felt like you do now, my therapist gave me a CD, accompanied by the words "if YOU think you suffer, listen to this" (I also had lost my dad, the love of my life, and so many other things) this is the first song, maybe you like it

It's hard now but all you have to do is survive school and after that life can get better, but only if you choose to make it better. Your young, you can do anything you want. Is there anything that inspires you? Try and find things that bring you joy in life and pursue them. If there is nothing then explore, there are lots of great things out there.