I'm so lonely and i'm so bored

Hey there guys,

I've been a member on here but never really contributed much but tonight i've just been so lonely and had no idea where else to go or what else to do about my loneliness anymore. I hate it so much, it's like it's killing me every day a little more. The more lonely i feel the less motivated i am to do things and the more i keep procrastinating task, and the more bored i feel as well. I also have social anxiety which makes me feel even worse. I guess that's the main reason for my loneliness. I guess i'm just desperate

I'm the same.

I can relate to this. I'm also very angry, since I loathe almost everyone and everything. And people make fun of me because I do, they think I want to, or that I'm trying to fit into a subculture or something. Its like, people don't have emotions or reactions or experiences anymore...they only have subcultures and attempts to fit into them. So anything you say is taken as just an invention or some kind of proclamation of how amazing you are at fitting into X subculture. But I think all the subcultures that people label me with are pathetic. I'm not goth, I just like to wear make-up. I'm not just an angry atheist or a teenage nihilist. I'm 21 years old! How old do I have to ******* get to not be talked down to?
You get stripped of all motivation to do anything when all your participation is ridiculed and you are treated as though you are invisible. fresia, I would have greater appreciation of this life were I not trapped in it.

I don't know how I come across online, but I come across very socially awkward in real life. I have 3 close friends, but have trouble socializing with others.

TheMaul said:

I can relate to this. I'm also very angry, since I loathe almost everyone and everything. And people make fun of me because I do, they think I want to, or that I'm trying to fit into a subculture or something. Its like, people don't have emotions or reactions or experiences anymore...they only have subcultures and attempts to fit into them. So anything you say is taken as just an invention or some kind of proclamation of how amazing you are at fitting into X subculture. But I think all the subcultures that people label me with are pathetic. I'm not goth, I just like to wear make-up. I'm not just an angry atheist or a teenage nihilist. I'm 21 years old! How old do I have to ******* get to not be talked down to?
You get stripped of all motivation to do anything when all your participation is ridiculed and you are treated as though you are invisible. fresia, I would have greater appreciation of this life were I not trapped in it.

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I know what you mean, guess all my lack of motivating comes from being invisible, people don't even notice, it makes no difference at all so why do it?
Also they try to make everyone fit in because if you don't then again you get lonely, you're being labelled as different and sometimes that's the worst that can happen...people don't even give you a chance to show who you really are..they give up on you once they saw you..let alone get to know you

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LeaningIntoTheMuse said:

I don't know how I come across online, but I come across very socially awkward in real life. I have 3 close friends, but have trouble socializing with others.

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I usually come across entirely differently online than in real life, i'm socially awkward in real life as well. Back at home i used to have 3-4 friends, not too close ones but here i don't have any since i'm at university, i just failed big time to socialise...i guess i've proven wrong any kind of statement that says bonding at university is the most natural thing ever....

Bonding at University? What the sideways yesterday fresia is that? Never heard of it.
I know there is a huge difference to my online portrayal as opposed to what actually is.
I come across as utterly ruthless, perhaps pretentiously so. But here I'm more raw than in real life since I'm essentially venting all the pent up frustrations of my quiet day to day where I have no-one to complain to.

TheMaul said:

Bonding at University? What the sideways yesterday fresia is that? Never heard of it.
I know there is a huge difference to my online portrayal as opposed to what actually is.
I come across as utterly ruthless, perhaps pretentiously so. But here I'm more raw than in real life since I'm essentially venting all the pent up frustrations of my quiet day to day where I have no-one to complain to.

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well it's basically the fact that you're supposed to have fun during university, be careless, make lots of friends, party and so on....

i'm rather more open online, i find it extremely easy to communicate with people without worrying that i come across as stupid or whatsoever...

I would like to agree with Maul, this world is empty. Sometimes it is very difficult not to be bitter. After years of not mattering it is easy to beat yourself up. Sad truth is that we are all to blame. For folks like you and I, it is because of our lack of prolonged interaction with the world we live in. Personally I have taken each rejection with a bit more wieght until I felt as though I could not handle the burden any longer. Even now as I write this I feel like if I were to dissapear tomorrow it would take days and possibly weeks for anyone to notice. Some would mourn, some would rejoice but the world would still turn and people would continue to live out their lives. One of the most persistant thoughts I find is that no matter how crappy my life is that there are others who feel the same or may have it worse. It is supposed to make me feel better and sometimes it works. I hope you find an appropriate coping method to fight your lonliness and you have my sincere sympathy.