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It's my birthday soon. I don't know what to do.
04-10-2012, 04:32 AM
Post: #1
It's my birthday soon. I don't know what to do.
So I'll be 21 soon. Sort of looking forward to it, sort of not.

Just means I'm another year away from my teens I guess, which makes me feel like a 12 year old in an older body given my total lack of a social life Sad

Unfortunately while I seem to accumulate lots of people who apparently like me, I don't have any friends who'd actually like to hang out with me. Not a single one I can think of.

Anyone I know that might spend time with me has either gone silent on me or is in another part of the country at present.

Since 21 is meant to be "special", I feel really at a loss this year. Last year I did absolutely nothing for my birthday, I just pretended I did so that people wouldn't think I was weird. It really felt crappy Sad

I've never had a birthday party (at least not if you don't count the ones as a very young kid) and I've never been out in my hometown at night. So I don't know any fun places to go either.

Sigh. It's so lame. I'm so lame.

I just know I'm going to get about 50 people on Facebook telling me to have a good time, but not a single person will be thinking about me beyond those few lines of text.

Any ideas? :\

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things...and no good thing ever dies."


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04-10-2012, 04:42 AM
Post: #2
RE: It's my birthday soon. I don't know what to do.
I can relate to a lot of your post... (only change the 2 to a 3, damn I'm getting old). I've never had a birthday party, either. I stopped drinking before I was legally old enough to drink and never really go into the bar scene, so there wasn't much for me to do. I did it all already.

Personally, for me, it's just another day. My age changes, but I don't. Yeah, it hurts when you have no one that seems to care that it's your birthday, but... only you can really change that. Go out and have a good time. Find a comedy club or go to a pool hall or anything that might interest you. You could always meet people while you're out, or even say on facebook that you're going out and want to know if anyone else is game (although that could backfire on you)

It may be because I drank a lot before I was legal, but I never really understood the big obsession with the 21st birthday.
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04-10-2012, 04:55 AM
Post: #3
RE: It's my birthday soon. I don't know what to do.
21 isn't anything more or less special than 20 imo, but I don't drink so maybe that's why. hah. You don't have to do anything that special unless you really want to. Just do things that make you happy (even the smallest) and buy/make your favorite meal that day. Smile

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04-10-2012, 05:00 AM (This post was last modified: 04-10-2012 05:45 AM by Lonesome Crow.)
Post: #4
RE: It's my birthday soon. I don't know what to do.
wow man....live a little.
what i would do to be 21 knowning what i know.lol
im actally a happy drunk.. i ve actually never drank at home alone.
I Party too much really. I drank and party way before I was 21.
19 was drinking age if youre in the milatary.
I started drinking in my senior yr in HS

You can always call a cab.

i know you heard of the horror stories..
.but heck theres was lots great times too.

Your not going to get to..the partying too much over nite Toungue

when i got older and became a daddy.
my BD so over....kids dont remember about
their parents BD. my gf tries to make it specail
for me...but it wasnt like a party. We stopped
drinking.

But that's like taking on the role of a fucken responsible parent.
Being a good daddy, a good partner, the bread winner and all that good horse shit.
So you stop drinking and partying to be a good man or do good.

Granted i kindda fucked up with Renae and Kimi.
I should had mellow the fucked out...


BUT YOURE SINGLE.
If you're young and single without extra responsiblities.
Shit man...go around the block a couple of times...Live it up.
Get it out of your system. You dont have to trun into a
berligerant drunk to have a good time.
Actaully when i go out drinking...I only have a 2-3 drinks.
Mellow out and chit chat..meet different people and women.
Heck if you dont wanna get drunk...just order soda.

You sAY you live in a small town...how small?
I'm guessing there's no night clubs pack like a meat market?
Hint...some small bars might be lame before 11 PM. They turn into a wild
jamm pack meat market depending on the days and hours and how the owner caters to the younger crowd.
It's like a mad house, standing room only...women dancing on the bar counters depending on the joint.
What you dont wanna do is be over 40 and haning out with the kiddies.

If not...I guess. Stay home and bake yourself a cake.
Go out and have dinner alone? (Geezze man that sound lame.)
Maybe if you go to benny hahna...they and sing and clap for you.
Go out and buy yourself a present....whatever you want?
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04-10-2012, 05:24 AM (This post was last modified: 04-10-2012 07:47 AM by Lost Drifter.)
Post: #5
RE: It's my birthday soon. I don't know what to do.
I’ll be 32 in a couple of weeks but haven’t had a birthday party since I was eight on account of me being a saddo with no family or friends. The fact that I don’t drink makes me even more of a saddo to new people too! It seems that birthdays are no longer about showing love and affection to those celebrating their age but about expecting them to entertain you with free drinks while you attend a party they’ve put on for themselves. Just like Christmas its all about receiving and no longer giving. My birthday’s are now just like any other days, heck I even forgot mine was coming up until I read this thread, I used to treat myself to something nice like a new book or a trip to a museum but after a while even that feels like a rapidly weakening placebo desperately used to patch up a broken situation. After a while even you stop believing in your own lies and give in to the fight.

So fancy a shenanigan filled road trip TSM? We could stop off and do musical numbers at various service stations over the land and end with a tap dance (complete with hat and cane) in old London town?




Take my love, take my land, take me where I can not stand.
I don't care, I'm still free. You can't take the sky from me.
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04-10-2012, 06:01 AM
Post: #6
RE: It's my birthday soon. I don't know what to do.
Everybody is different. People treat birthdays differently. At work this woman was 40 last December. She told everybody, organized a collection for herself, had a couple of parties / events. She milked it to the max. Another woman is 40 this month. She hasn't told anybody, doesn't like the attention. I'm the only one who knows. I haven't told anybody to respect what she wants. I never mention my birthday to my work colleagues. They always forget. I don't like saying anything because it's like saying you wants presents / cards from people.

I think the OP should treat himself to something, if he doesn't fancy going out drinking. Try and enjoy the day. My birthday last year I went shopping and bought myself some books and dvd's.
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04-10-2012, 06:18 AM
Post: #7
RE: It's my birthday soon. I don't know what to do.
Have a party here on the site or in chat. Everyone can go out and get like a cupcake or actual cake if they are hungry and people can celebrate with you. Chat with you a bit, give birthday hugs, or if you're lucky maybe some of the ladies will send you birthday boob pics (jk b4 i get smacked). Like Putter said, treat yourself to something special, be as selfish as you want.

Who knows though, sometimes people surprise you.

Sickos never scare me. Least they're committed.
Never Give Up! Never Surrender!
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04-10-2012, 06:52 AM (This post was last modified: 04-10-2012 06:57 AM by Varifold.)
Post: #8
RE: It's my birthday soon. I don't know what to do.
Well, I am 22. I did the same thing when I turned 21 as I did when I turned 20, or 18, or 16, namely nothing. I stopped celebrating my birthdays when I was 12. I told my family to fuckin' forget about me and not mention it to me on that day, not before and not after. It took a while to force it upon them, but it was worthwhile. I no longer celebrate birthdays or any other holidays. I made my family exclude me from Christmas and New Year's Eve celebrations. In fact, my family stopped celebrating them, too, including birthdays.

It's just like any other day. The sooner you realise that, the more enlightened about the true nature of our sick culture you become. When you start realising that people's celebrations are entirely nonsensical, and of no deeper sense beyond utterly unjustifiable self-gratification, you'll notice that you do not miss out on anything and that you must not feel ashamed for not celebrating.

When people ask me what I got for Christmas, I tell them the truth - "nothing, because I don't celebrate". When they ask me when my birthday is, I tell them that "it is irrelevant, because that day is not to be singled out in any way". I am not more or less important than anyone else. There is absolutely zero reason to celebrate "me". I could just as well celebrate my plants' existence. But why should I? It's an idiotic waste of time.

In fact, I despise our hedonistic, self-gratifying culture. Only very few people have earned their right to celebrate anything at all.
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04-10-2012, 08:05 AM (This post was last modified: 04-10-2012 08:18 AM by Peaches.)
Post: #9
RE: It's my birthday soon. I don't know what to do.
gee, that happened to me too for some years, it sucks, please remember that you have the best years of your life ahead of you, social skills can totally be improved and, if you don't have any major disabilities or similar (even in that case, but well, that's another story), the world is yours.
Make a list of crazy things that you would like to do, so that you will never ever have to feel lame (I am sure you are far but lame, but if you feel that, that's what counts) - small things, like completely rethinking your fashion style? playing guitar for 7 hours straight? (IF you play guitar or something) do something you have never done, skating? riding a horse? there must be a meetup group or something near to where you live, go and tell everyone it's your birthday.
or big things? go volunteering? http://globetrooper.com/trips/search?act...lunteering
You bloody well deserve a party, never let anyone make you think differently. I hope in the worst case you will be able to throw yourself a great party, in spite of everything. Not talking here about hedonistic etc society, that comment is quite correct, and this crazy need to throw money away in official circumstances "just because" really makes no sense. But understand that you are precious, because you have a special soul and mind, and that that needs to be celebrated, and that has nothing to do with crappy commercial celebrations, actually those don't want you to look inside and see who you really are, and celebrate that. (LOL birthday boob pics)
have you ever seen videos of this guy? I think I got them from this forum http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc4HGQHge...re=related
for my taste he is too much into christianity, but the concept is loud and clear
take care!

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”


“I'm fine. Well, I'm not fine - I'm here."
"Is there something wrong with that?"
"Absolutely.”

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04-10-2012, 08:14 AM
Post: #10
RE: It's my birthday soon. I don't know what to do.
(04-10-2012 05:24 AM)Lost Drifter Wrote:  So fancy a shenanigan filled road trip TSM? We could stop off and do musical numbers at various service stations over the land and end with a tap dance (complete with hat and cane) in old London town?

Lol, that backflip was really something Big Grin

I'll fill up the car... Toungue

Quote:It's just like any other day. The sooner you realise that, the more enlightened about the true nature of our sick culture you become.

I already feel like that a bit. But the more I think like that, the more I feel like I'm resigning myself to being miserable and lonely by ignoring (at heart) my crappy social situation Sad

As self-absorbed as many people may be, it still sucks to feel like no-one wants to be around you, I guess. That's my take on it anyway.

I work my rump off the majority of the time, either exercising or studying, so it'd be so nice to have a special day each year with friends. Problem is, I don't seem to have any! o_0

Quote:wow man....live a little.
what i would do to be 21 knowning what i know.lol
im actally a happy drunk.. i ve actually never drank at home alone.
I Party too much really. I drank and party way before I was 21.
19 was drinking age if youre in the milatary.
I started drinking in my senior yr in HS

You can always call a cab.

i know you heard of the horror stories..
.but heck theres was lots great times too.

...

BUT YOURE SINGLE.
If you're young and single without extra responsiblities.
Shit man...go around the block a couple of times...Live it up.
Get it out of your system. You dont have to trun into a
berligerant drunk to have a good time.
Actaully when i go out drinking...I only have a 2-3 drinks.
Mellow out and chit chat..meet different people and women.
Heck if you dont wanna get drunk...just order soda.

...

You sAY you live in a small town...how small?

Well, drinking age here is 18...and most people I know started drinking at 16. By contrast, I've never been drunk once in my life... Shy

I feel sort of pathetic admitting that. Most people seem to see getting wrecked as a weekly activity, I just haven't ever felt like doing it. I've also always been worried about getting out of control and being stupid.

I've also never gone clubbing and I've only once been to a pub for an evening. I just have no one to go with, so I don't Sad

As for my town, it's more like a village. There's a school here, one tiny pub and that's it. The nightlife is pretty dead, and I don't frequently have access to transport to any nearby towns.

Personally, I have real trouble "letting go" too. It probably sounds weird, but I feel like it's sort of my job to keep my head and be "the orderly one". I'm very introspective like that, so I find it extremely difficult sometimes to just relax. I appreciate the advice though LC Smile

Quote:I can relate to a lot of your post... (only change the 2 to a 3, damn I'm getting old). I've never had a birthday party, either. I stopped drinking before I was legally old enough to drink and never really go into the bar scene, so there wasn't much for me to do. I did it all already.

Personally, for me, it's just another day. My age changes, but I don't. Yeah, it hurts when you have no one that seems to care that it's your birthday, but... only you can really change that. Go out and have a good time. Find a comedy club or go to a pool hall or anything that might interest you. You could always meet people while you're out, or even say on facebook that you're going out and want to know if anyone else is game (although that could backfire on you)

It may be because I drank a lot before I was legal, but I never really understood the big obsession with the 21st birthday.

Ah, at least you did do it all Callie, as tedious as it may have become! Smile

I feel like I just have no idea about how people have a social life to be honest - and it's odd how it's passed me by like this. My whole life's like this really, people ask me what I do on the weekends and the answer is always nothing.

I guess I'm just a really boring, uptight person at heart. Yet sometimes I feel the way I behave is more interesting than people who just get drunk every week.

Who knows? :s

Anyway, I'll have a think on the ideas and perhaps post if I come up with anything. Thanks everyone Smile

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things...and no good thing ever dies."


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