Why does my mom seem to hate me?

Hi guys,

So just to make everything short, my mom blames me for most of the bad things that happens. For example, her tax return letter came late, she 'asks' me why is it late and saying at the same time its myfault; another example, she asks me why i dont know how to do the taxes, her taxes to be more precise; and she also said that it will be my fault if she gets a fine because I didnt do it on time.

This is just one of the things she does to me. Sometimes she deliberately points out im 'obese' and laughs about it, even tho im not obese but im not skinny either (uk14)

I know you guys love your mom but the relationship with my mom is just all messed up.

I have no idea why your mother would say such things, or why she'd hate you.

This relationship doesn't seem healthy though. Have you told her how she makes you feel?

Someone in my family , went through that, all of her childhood and teens, then things realy deteriorated....turns out the mom was psychotic and extreamely jelous and paranoid of her daughter. She is treatd now and its much better, but the person to whom it happened to, is not quite healed yet.

I'm not saying this is your situation, just giving you a scenario of a possibility.

I've also seen moms take out their misery on their child because they blame them for ruining their lives (ex: no freedom, responsabilities)

Do you know what kind of relationship she had with her mom ?, sometimes they reproduce what they have been thought.

Why are your moms taxes your responsibility? Tell her to do her own ******* taxes or take it to one of the many people who will do it for you for a reasonable price.

im dad treats me the sameway.
anything i say or do isnt good enough
i get blame for everything.
plus bullied or neat picked by him.

its kinda like being in a cult...
Its a very abusive relationship.
my father is an alcholic or functioning
alcoholic. he mughts as will be phycotic.

please establish a boundary or
tries to let it go in one ear and out the other.
not let her rent space in your head.

Youre srill WELL.
Youre awear what your mothee say to
you is not true.

i hope it hasnt cuased you mental
and emotional damage.

it can be a little dificual becuase she's
your mom and your caretaker.
to live day in and day out with her.

---

picking a fight with her or confronting her
isnt going to help you..
.itll only cuase a fight. the dramma will only
wear you down.

Give yourself Space from her.....plenty of space.
Love yourself through all of this.

---

you might try Al anon or Ala teen
Seek theropy or counseling if you can.

Most peaple that had alcoholic parents
or abusive parents....later on in life
get involve in abusive relationships...
To try to resovle issues or its familar to them...

google acoa, aca, codepency, coda to get
informations. Reach out to people that's
gone through what your going through.
how they healed.

---

Limlim said:

Why are your moms taxes your responsibility? Tell her to do her own ******* taxes or take it to one of the many people who will do it for you for a reasonable price.

Click to expand...

She taking on the role of the caretaker....thats why.

you might wanna do reserch on abusive relationships,
co dependency, alcoholsm cuase alki are wack jobs,
dysfuntional family.....

you might get a better understanding why poeple
get in an abusive relationships over and over
again.

The verious roles a person takes on and the living
hell they go through as a chikd.

its emotional bonding wirh her mom.
and the guilt she FEELS.....which is a very
powerful feeling..
She also lives in constant fear.....

---

cuase her mother wil still blame her if she didn't
do the taxes for her mom?

My mum was the same with me. It is NOT your fault. It is hard when the person who brought you into the world doesn't think much of you, but this is her problem and no reflection whatsoever on your worth as a person.

Wow. I don't see how those things would be your fault. Sounds like your mom might have issues of her own and you are unfortunately her targeting board.

Me and my dad were going through this last year, usually with alcohol involved.

We were both as bad as each other but we both sorta pulled out towards Christmas time.

Still, it's not nice when it happens and i hope she pulls herself out this anger for your sake.

I am sorry it is this way for you with your mother. Though it is inexcusable and wrong, for some parents, it is.. most convenient for them, to misdirect anger at the child. To have a child.. it is such a big change, and there become many new limits for the parent.. so it becomes easy for some parents to blame the child for everything they think is wrong with their life. Quite a sad situation, but, more common than many know..

It is very possible.. she does not hate you, but various issues of her, they cause her to treat you in such a way. Maybe it would be best to take a bit distance from her, and to tell her why, until she can sort through the issues and treat you better. It sounds a very toxic situation and surely you do not deserve it.

Its probably some kind of anger she's trying to blame somebody for or direct at somebody, most probably not your fault. Try to keep clear of her as much as you can and only spend time if she's in a good mood and won't blame you for everything. I can relate to you on this, the advice is from experience.

It's your mother imposing her insecurities on you.