When & Where Do You Feel Most Lonely?

[Lost Drifter]

I’m alone but not always lonely. I could easily answer “all the time” or “everywhere” but that would be a lie so I’ve spent the past couple of days thinking about when or where my loneliness triggers the most.

I’m fine at home for the most part; I can attribute any sense of loneliness to my own self-made isolation (i.e. I’m home alone) but really get down when I see those huge New Year count downs on the television. I really hate those shows. I’m ok while out shopping, I’m more concerned about getting what I need than feeling alone but feel a tad sorry for myself when I see those massive family shopping trolleys sat next to my insignificant basket filled with meals for one.

Cinemas are ok during show times but walking alone through a cinema lobby packed with crowds of excited friends on a night out often pulls on the lonesome heartstrings. Eating out is another, dining alone can be awkward enough but lots of restaurants or cafes seem to go out of their way to make single diners feel uncomfortable. Ever had that look of shock when you ask for a table for one? Or see the waiter hurriedly clear up all the other plates leaving you surrounded by a barrier of empty table space? I’m fond of sampling new foods but eating out alone has become a massive no-no.

I think work is where I feel the loneliest, so much to the point where it’s damaging my self-esteem. It’s a place where everyone knows my name yet treat me like a total stranger, avoiding conversation if not avoiding eye contact all together, talking over me and around me like I don’t even exist.

That for me is when I feel the loneliest. What about you?

[LoneKiller]

I feel the most lonely when I want to discuss video games, chess, or basketball, because I live with my grandmother, mother, and Father. They have no interest in any of my interests at all.

[putter65]

(04-24-2012 04:56 AM)Lost Drifter Wrote:  I’m alone but not always lonely. I could easily answer “all the time” or “everywhere” but that would be a lie so I’ve spent the past couple of days thinking about when or where my loneliness triggers the most.

I’m fine at home for the most part; I can attribute any sense of loneliness to my own self-made isolation (i.e. I’m home alone) but really get down when I see those huge New Year count downs on the television. I really hate those shows. I’m ok while out shopping, I’m more concerned about getting what I need than feeling alone but feel a tad sorry for myself when I see those massive family shopping trolleys sat next to my insignificant basket filled with meals for one.

Cinemas are ok during show times but walking alone through a cinema lobby packed with crowds of excited friends on a night out often pulls on the lonesome heartstrings. Eating out is another, dining alone can be awkward enough but lots of restaurants or cafes seem to go out of their way to make single diners feel uncomfortable. Ever had that look of shock when you ask for a table for one? Or see the waiter hurriedly clear up all the other plates leaving you surrounded by a barrier of empty table space? I’m fond of sampling new foods but eating out alone has become a massive no-no.

I think work is where I feel the loneliest, so much to the point where it’s damaging my self-esteem. It’s a place where everyone knows my name yet treat me like a total stranger, avoiding conversation if not avoiding eye contact all together, talking over me and around me like I don’t even exist.

That for me is when I feel the loneliest. What about you?

On a night when I'm sat at my pc reading this forum. And then I go on facebook and see people I know are having a night out / get together or whatever.

[Kathryn]

For me, work is fine. I interact with people and actually talk a lot. I don't have any personal conversations, though. When I do, I kind of say to much, but whatever.

I understand the shopping part, but I mostly ignore the people around me, no matter what my basket is filled with. However, I see sometimes people in groups talking about things they get, especially around the holidays and then I remember my room is empty and will be so throughout the entire "celebration" of whatever.

I never go out alone, bars or restaurants. The loneliness there is insurmountable. And I look stupid sitting there alone.

But most lonely is when there is an hour or two before going to bed and I realize I exhausted all my normal passtimes (reading, playing, music, etc), and there is nothing to do, noone to talk to. Like right now.

I never realized I was so lonely before.

.__.

[Barbaloot]

When my husband is away for work for weeks, months, and I am completely alone here.

When I realize that no matter how many people I meet, I just simply can't relate to most of them in terms of my experiences and interests.

Remembering a time when my life wasn't so socially empty.

And then when I remember that most people annoy me anyway because they are unreasonable, begrudging, arrogant, vicious, fickle, etc.

[Sci-Fi]

When the power is out and I don't have the internet. Not that I'm an avid Facebook user but sometimes I go on mine just to read the news feeds and what some of my old friends are up to. Plus the online game I play with a really nice group of people.

[putter65]

(04-24-2012 07:00 AM)Sci-Fi Wrote:  When the power is out and I don't have the internet. Not that I'm an avid Facebook user but sometimes I go on mine just to read the news feeds and what some of my old friends are up to. Plus the online game I play with a really nice group of people.

I feel lost without the internet.

[In a lonely place]

(04-24-2012 05:55 AM)Kathryn Wrote:  But most lonely is when there is an hour or two before going to bed and I realize I exhausted all my normal passtimes (reading, playing, music, etc), and there is nothing to do, noone to talk to. Like right now.
.__.

I feel the same, I have many lonely moments, but at home, finally relaxing and realising I have no-one to share it with that's the worst.

[Avaron]

Um, I feel most lonely when surrounded by people. Even if I'm in a group with my friends or supposedly having a great time with them, I feel the most lonely when I'm with people. When I'm by myself, it's as if I can just be me, and I don't have to worry about what anyone else thinks.
My main cause of loneliness is that I can't be myself around people. Not being able to be myself = loneliness

[jazztracs]

Hi, I hear you when you say others treat you like you don't exist, and it is hard to keep the self esteem up when this happens, for what it is worth you are understood and do exist,