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bodeilla

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Aug 21, 2012
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I'm with my partner and dog today, but I'm so lonely. My partner was in town for a change. She didn't have to travel. But she did have to work from home. And the dog stayed under her feet all day. We did take little breaks in the living room and she would chat with me and the dog would come visit. But I don't feel understood. I'm upset about my mental condition (bi-polar with voices). I had therapy today and it didn't help. It only made matters worse. It stirred up bad feelings. I had some enlightenment, which was good. But it did nothing for the anxiety or the voices. And when I talk about it with my partner, I get no where.

She works long hours. When we chat, we have to keep it at a minimum. She's so tired. There's no time for me to be heard out.

Now everyone is asleep and I am all alone. I'm so upset. No one understands. I'm afraid this will never go away.
 
Everyone needs someone to talk to. It's in our nature. I wish there was a way to escape that feeling, but the only thing that helps me cope is music and writing. I journal my thoughts and emotions. It helps me vent a lot and I usually feel a lot better after I do that. Would you be interested in trying that? You could journal every day, or every other day, or just whenever something's bothering you. Sometimes, I'll go places and write. I find it pretty impressive.
 
Thanks for the reply. Funny that you mention journaling. I just started doing it again. It's been really helpful. Especially, since lately I don't get many replies to my threads. Not just here. But elsewhere as well. It's frustrating. You post seeking any support you can find. But basically you have to give it to yourself first.

I used to journal in these really nice leather bound books. Now I journal on Penzu. It's a safe on-line journal site. Day one is another tool I use for the Mac. I've never thought of traveling with my RL journals. That's cool.

Bo
 
I wouldn't worry too much about not getting responses to threads, even though it is very discouraging. Sometimes people just don't know what to say or say something they may not already have said in another thread. I read this a few days ago and just didn't know what to say. I'm in a different situation so it's hard to relate. I don't have bipolar disorders or have to worry about voices except my own. No idea what that is like. Don't have a partner or a dog.

But having had dogs in the past it is just natural for them to spend more time with the person they see the least. Dogs are such loving devoted creatures and they miss people too. So when that person comes around they show that affection. It's much easier for that person to get the dogs attention more. Like the second dog my family had, my mom and I dropped her off at the vet to get "fixed". When she was ready to come home my mom and brother went to pick her up, she wouldn't go near my mom or me. Even if I was petting her and my brother called her she'd go right to him. That didn't last long but it just shows how much of a personality they can have. Same when we had friends over, she'd spend more time with them and wouldn't always come when called.

With your partner working all the time that must be hard when she comes home tired. As for being surrounded by family and still feeling lonely I don't know how that feels. Seems weird to me. I mean, I get it but it's just a weird concept. I'm not surrounded by family where I live now, nor friends. My family lives a couple hours away and my friends all have their own lives and family now.
 

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