My family says I'm "hard to live with"

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ijustwanttodie

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No one in my family wants me around. I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I'm starting my junior year of college next fall and leaving home. I had planned on rooming with my sister in her apartment since she's already attending the university but she says she doesn't think it a good idea because we might fight and she can't stand my negativity. I do tend to be temperamental. My parents, on the other hand, is constantly complaining that I'm difficult to live with at home so she has every right to refuse my rooming with her.
I'm an honors student, but this has got me so down that I'm considering dropping out of college after my associates degree.
 
So, because of other people's reaction to you, you are going to sabotage the rest of your life by dropping out of college?

Don't do this. This sounds like your depression talking instead of you doing something that'll benefit and help you.
 
I agree, do it for you. This is a chance at a fresh start and to give you the best opportunities for the future.
 
Hello, Welcome to the forum.

Dropping out of college is not a good idea, if you think things are bad now, imagine in the future when you wish you'd stayed and pursued.

Negativity is a tricky one because it's so easy to find fault with things and hard to find the good. I suppose when you consider what you've got - a roof over you head, family and still got a chance at your education that it may help you realise that it's not all bad, there's worse off people; and although your family are complaining, I'm sure if you weren't so negative, they might not mind having you around.

In most cases, you get out of things what you put in.
 
It sounds to me that your family is seeing you as the problem and putting the blame onto you for any difficulties. Even though you might be temperamental, it takes more than one person to argue. Maybe you are just a different sort of person to your parents and sister. Stick with your studies and you might well find someone you get on with really well, who is on your wave length, to share a flat with.
 
I'm sorry your family said that to you. It really hurts. My mum used to say that to me all the time. It's hard sometimes not to take notice of your parents' opinions of you. But that doesn't mean they're right.

I can understand your wanting to drop out. It's hard to feel enthusiastic about anything when someone has hurt you like that. It is hard to feel good (and to stop being negative) when people are constantly putting you down. But I think if you do drop out, you will regret it. You're an honours student so I'm guessing you are very intelligent and a hard worker. It would be a shame to throw a chance like this away.

You might find that once you're at the university and you have a place to live that is just yours, not shared by any member of your family, you might feel better about yourself. Sometimes I feel lonelier away from my parents, but I am mostly happier and quite a different person. When I'm with my parents, they treat me like I'm about 10 and it's hard not to fall into the child role and I can get temperamental.

But away from my parents, I do feel at least a few years older and not so much under pressure to follow their rules. It's much better now I can make my own rules, cook how I want, spend my money how I want, bring my girls up how I want...(my fiance does tell me what to do a lot but at least he listens to my opinion)

I really think you should give this a try. If you aren't happy, you could give up sometime in the future, but you might find that living away from your parents and your sister really helps you.
 
ijustwanttodie said:
. . . but she says she doesn't think it a good idea because we might fight and she can't stand my negativity. I do tend to be temperamental.

Try not to be so temperamental. It's usually just an attitude, and not really how someone is. Maybe try adjusting that attitude, and she may rethink it.
 
SophiaGrace said:
So, because of other people's reaction to you, you are going to sabotage the rest of your life by dropping out of college?

Don't do this. This sounds like your depression talking instead of you doing something that'll benefit and help you.

It's depression talking all right. But seeing as how most people draw their strength from others, it's easy to understand falling into despair. So you make it through college, then what? College debts, lack of confidence as a result of weak social connections, nobody to turn to period, and somehow you're supposed to pull it together enough to get a paying job.

Get an associate's degree at least. If they want more from you than that, you need to call them out. I mean Jesus, they're you're family, no matter how you act, throwing you to the wolves is pretty harsh.

Also, make some friends, and form a surrogate family of sorts. Having people to trust helps with alot of things.

...Also, be aware that negativity and loneliness is a vicious cycle. Even if you should succeed, and make it through college, if you're bummed out (because of the stupid social atmosphere of job interviews, which should really be a practical skills test) people read that as an inability to do the job. People can reject negative lonely people, which, guess what? Makes you more negative and lonely.
 
painter said:
Most families are hard to live with, that's why people tend to move out.

Isn't that weird how this is pretty common when they're people we call family?

I'm waiting for my turn to do this. Till then, I will try to be ignorant as much as possible of my family members' actions, behaviours and expectations.
 

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