oh noetry, bad poetry!

[iwasaloverb4thiswar]

ok ok so i will admit thats not an oringinal title, stole it from a webcomic (as well as my avatar). check 'em out btw, good for a few laughs, AND he adds a new one everyday (BONUS!!)...
http://toothpastefordinner.com/

ok so this is the first time i have ever shown anyone my writing, there is loads of this stuff around my apartment. What do you think, be honest!
enough stalling, here we go...

1.
Voice low melodious
Flecked with foreign lilt
Flowing like sea water over sand

Already I think,
What warm color will I kiss?
And whether it will be the truth.
Before my eyes,
Beams of life and particles of energy,
A thousand beating hearts.

But yet my lips drip with no words.
I never knew how to say
What was forming in the womb.

2.
the earth is a moving mass of riotous decay,
filmed in lapsed time it would undulate.

Fungus and mold and mushroom
Maggots scuffle and writhe
Black and of undeterminable texture
The death of life
A life of death

If you stared long enough
Immersed yourself in it
Passively wallowed as mildew formed rings around
Eyes, nose and mouth
Breathed it in, tasted it- in your teeth, the back of your neck
Let beetle bugs crawl round every orifice
Clothing tenderized, hung damply and rotted off.

Only then might you know
The whole world.
The slack-jawed blue fingered fear,
The doll in the rags, in the ribcage, in the forest.
We are horrified by the joyful life surging through trees,
hidden, swollen and forgotten bodies.
Their hush, their peace, their indifference to our pleadings,
Their inability to grant us one merciful meeting of the eye.

3.
a poem!
A gift!
A burning dewy droplet of the heart and soul
Joy to me is golden amber orange,
Peaches, reds and pinks
Prickling across the skin in
Concentric circles.

Peace is of a different hue,
Of blues and blacks and stars
The pit of silent Ohm
Slipping backward,
Like a magnet.
The release of muscle, sinew, bone.

...and lastly, I was listening to one of my favorite rap artists (MF Doom), yeah I dabble in some hip hop from time to time, though its not usually my favorite genre...anyway thought I would try my hand at writing my own small rhyme since I admire free form poets so much, though this one was premeditated and contains some lines from other stuff I have written (you may notice). Hey, give a girl a break, its my first time, LOL! Enjoy!

Sounds soft, sonorous
Low tones melodious
Drum beat kicks
And I drift back
Pulse beats low on the radar
Don’t need attention to get this far
I’m moving through this town soft as a cotton sheet
No ones rolling over loosing sleep on account of me
Sleep, slip, skirt, and enunciate
I catch my breaks and start again don’t hesitate
No I don’t roll solo enough not to be your friend
I’m even fair enough to treat your flaws as a passing trend
Pits of silent ohm
And I’m slipping backward
Fast-forward, ripped, and there’s only laughter
Oh enlightened Buddha, I will be the one
The humid tongue
To lick the corners of your mind clean
Stop trying
To force the muses hand
Don’t try to make a stand, you’re just the pawn
The dead wood of the wizard’s wand
Sit back and watch the sparks fly
Sip the magic mixture and don’t ever try
The taste can be agreeable, don’t you think?
“Some more, sir, for me thanks and yes please”
Naw, son I don’t want your voodoo shit
I’m 100% natural and I’m proud of it
But I like it when you make your heels click, hon
Make your home mine
And spend your time with me some
There’s no destination on this roller coaster ride of insanity
But if we end the beginnings where its gonna be
I push to keep my boundary on the universal scale
It may not help me but I like it and ill keep it there

[NeverMore]

iwasaloverb4thiswar Wrote:2.
the earth is a moving mass of riotous decay,
filmed in lapsed time it would undulate.

Fungus and mold and mushroom
Maggots scuffle and writhe
Black and of undeterminable texture
The death of life
A life of death

If you stared long enough
Immersed yourself in it
Passively wallowed as mildew formed rings around
Eyes, nose and mouth
Breathed it in, tasted it- in your teeth, the back of your neck
Let beetle bugs crawl round every orifice
Clothing tenderized, hung damply and rotted off.

Only then might you know
The whole world.
The slack-jawed blue fingered fear,
The doll in the rags, in the ribcage, in the forest.
We are horrified by the joyful life surging through trees,
hidden, swollen and forgotten bodies.
Their hush, their peace, their indifference to our pleadings,
Their inability to grant us one merciful meeting of the eye.

Wow this one is my favorite, I'm speechless

the death of life
a life of death

The whole world.
The slack-jawed blue fingered fear

so amazing I love it

iwasaloverb4thiswar Wrote:3.
a poem!
A gift!
A burning dewy droplet of the heart and soul
Joy to me is golden amber orange,
Peaches, reds and pinks
Prickling across the skin in
Concentric circles.

Peace is of a different hue,
Of blues and blacks and stars
The pit of silent Ohm
Slipping backward,
Like a magnet.
The release of muscle, sinew, bone.

So good..

the fact that you fit in the words: ohm, concentric, sinew and magnet

iwasaloverb4thiswar Wrote:Sounds soft, sonorous
Low tones melodious
Drum beat kicks
And I drift back
Pulse beats low on the radar
Don’t need attention to get this far
I’m moving through this town soft as a cotton sheet
No ones rolling over loosing sleep on account of me
Sleep, slip, skirt, and enunciate
I catch my breaks and start again don’t hesitate
No I don’t roll solo enough not to be your friend
I’m even fair enough to treat your flaws as a passing trend
Pits of silent ohm
And I’m slipping backward
Fast-forward, ripped, and there’s only laughter
Oh enlightened Buddha, I will be the one
The humid tongue
To lick the corners of your mind clean
Stop trying
To force the muses hand
Don’t try to make a stand, you’re just the pawn
The dead wood of the wizard’s wand
Sit back and watch the sparks fly
Sip the magic mixture and don’t ever try
The taste can be agreeable, don’t you think?
“Some more, sir, for me thanks and yes please”
Naw, son I don’t want your voodoo shit
I’m 100% natural and I’m proud of it
But I like it when you make your heels click, hon
Make your home mine
And spend your time with me some
There’s no destination on this roller coaster ride of insanity
But if we end the beginnings where its gonna be
I push to keep my boundary on the universal scale
It may not help me but I like it and ill keep it there

Environmental studies major, pshaw, sure you are.....poetry major more likely

lol I'd love to see some of your other stuff you said you had a bunch

[iwasaloverb4thiswar]

going through an old journal of mine this morning, found some intresting things, first this poem:

oh! to find a lover brother sister
laden in the folds of time
to release his warmth to become my own
for us to share
revirbarate together
connect with a center
and all it took was my permission,
no,
my awareness
like an infant discovering
the utility of his limbs
always present
within me
around me
within him.
oh the joy, the sorrow in reading one's deepest
truths upon the page
yes, yes! his words are nearly mine
and both are but a shallow expression
of the unexpressable,
awakened, and in every soul since forever.

^^I think I was reading Walt Whitman at the time, and wrote this after breaking down and crying at reading one of his poems. He still sticks with me, note the signature, lol

...and this, dumb, but I really want to share it. Its a journal entry and it just puts into words some of the things I have been trying to express here. Please note that my references to "god" are purely from habit...my spirituality is much more abstract, please don't be turned off by my word choice.

"I am ready to change, OH GOD AM I READY!! Open to things that I have been hiding from forever, and people, PEOPLE I want to be stable for, get a chance for them to meet the real me, my higher self, and see all the things I can do....wow things could be so much different, ACT!
...Sometimes I wish I could pause the day here, in these morning hours (originally spelled 'mourning,' curious...) before confusion and interruption and obligation pollute. Right now is the one part of my day that continues to be completely deliberate. From this point forward, things could go well or things could go badly, but here in the soft white orange light of morning things are still kind, still swaddled in potential. Soon the noise and glare and jostle of life will creep in and establish itself, but for now in this sacred moment, all the possibilities of the world...

...Listening, really listening to my desires, being quiet enough to really know them and they will speak beyond the fear. God-heart is telling me "GO!" in its rumbling earth-quaking way, a declaration deviod of frustration or anger, just unquestionably there, like a stone plopped out of my mouth and said "I am a stone!" Simple, true, infalable. It shall be and it shall be!! The future becomes the present, no matter!

..and so to finish up and wind this down and bring it to a point..." Haha and thats where the entry ends, guess I had said enough, much like with this post

[Hijacc]

that was lovely.

[iwasaloverb4thiswar]

tie me to that mast please
and make the knots tight
don't let me out
no matter what I say

I'd throw myself at that harpy
even though it'd eat my heart out
and with pleasure

I've done this before
So tie me to that mast please
and make the knots tight

[oarivan]

The beauty about poetry is its all subjective. There's no such thing as bad poetry.

[PoWer2tHePeOpLE]

good shit

voices like sea water.. dripping words.. kissing colours.. and the kick arse line "The slack-jawed blue fingered fear".. very cool stuff

i like these lines too,
"No I don’t roll solo enough not to be your friend
I’m even fair enough to treat your flaws as a passing trend"

.. flaws as a passing trend.. hehe, i'd listen to that poetry set to beats