Begiining To Feel Quite Misanthropic. Anyone Know How That feels?

Im begginning to feel quite 'misantrhpic towards people and I just feel it right now, I'm losing control. All my faith and hope I had in people has been replaced by bitterness and Hatred for most people. Most things bug me and irritate the crap out of me now regarding people. I never ever thought Id ever start feelin like this.. Dont know what to do anymore.. So burned out with everyone :|

My question is why do you have faith and hope in other people? You'll always be let down by someone, eventually. It takes quite a lot to find a real friend you can depend on, you know.

perfanoff said:

My question is why do you have faith and hope in other people? You'll always be let down by someone, eventually. It takes quite a lot to find a real friend you can depend on, you know.

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This is what I always tell you, JALG.

You can't bank on your hope and faith on other people. People will always be people, you can't change them. Your faith and hope should come from within, not about them, not based on them, but your beliefs in life. You may believe that people should behave a certain way - but you have to also consider the reality in life.

You should move your focus away on people and their negativities, and just focus on your life and how you can develop yourself. If you need friends to carry on in life, keep socialising and keep making new friends but don't expect them to be how you want or perceive them to be because most of the time, it's a disappointment. So, just go and make friends in hopes that out of the many, a few of them will actually stick by you. And to me, I think that's really good enough in this world.

I agree with what Lady and Perfanoff are saying JALG. The world is what it is. You seem like a kind person, and that's great, but perhaps you should be that way despite how people are like. Just follow your conscience and do the right thing you know? Feel the joy that comes with doing good stuff, regardless of other's actions.

Not sure if this makes sense. Hope you feel better soon friend!

I'm seeing a really great therapist at the moment, and the point she has persistantly been making to me is that I don't need to rely on what other people think to somehow validate myself. That I need to have faith in myself, fully accept myself, and then that a more realistic faith in other people will come naturally.

I think you might share at least some of the same issues I do - a sort of "all or nothing" approach to other people. That I put full faith in other people, who then let me down terribly, and then use that to justify no faith in other people at all. Realistically though, everyone screws up from time to time. Its about trying to judge whether an action is a cock-up, or is it actually malicious in nature. And also accepting that nobody is ever going to treat you exactly the way you want to, because human beings (including ourselves) are fundamentally flawed.

When I feel misanthropic it's just because I'm aware of my vulnerability to peoples' behaviour. I don't like that people can be so cruel, and I fear that they may hurt me, so use my anger towards them as a defence. I may make dry comments, isolate and act aloof, but I'm really just upset because I have high (unrealistic) expectations for people. I wish they were more self-aware and thoughtful of others (especially of ME).

I have no control over how other people act. But my angry feelings can delude me into thinking I have some kind of control (like a false superiority).

I tried to embrace misanthropy, but then I would accidentally forget past hurts. For me the drive to love and be loved is far more powerful than hatred.

Misanthropy is also a waste of time and energy. If I was that way, I'd be living on the edge of catastrophe, lol.
Indifference is more powerful. I really don't care about others and their actions.
Humanity has absolutely nothing to offer...why bother??? we're animals and what matters the most is what we do to survive.

I never get like that, I don't 'hate' eveything or anybody.

There are plenty of really nice people out there !

just the inner dark one telling you its time to serve yourself instead of others.

faith in people is just blind faith. eventually a human being is flash and matter, its 'conscience' is biological matter and is just cause and effect. so sooner or later they will fail you.

don't worry about that feeling too much. just remember not to do things that would turn back against you, and a bit of Misanthropy can actually be fun (also protective).

Thank you for all the kind answers everyone I value everyones point mad eon this thread. Its true, Not everyones gonna behave how id like them too. I think the trick is not to expect anything out of anyone. Its easier said then done, but I suppose its somethin I could work on. I really am trying Just I never ever thouht id end up feelin this way. I suppose, its a new experience for me and its brouht me to a wodnerful site with wonderful people. Thank you agian everyone I couldnt ask for any better from you.

Let yourself be angry, it will armour you against hurt. 'Impossible!' cry the bleeding hearts. Not so. I think you're halfway there already, by your own admissions. Turn every negative emotion generated by another person towards you into anger. Not face-punching berserker anger, but the annealing kind, like emotional scar-tissue.

Don't avoid pain, seek it out, because it can't hurt you twice if your not afraid of it. I learned this a long time ago, and now nothing distresses me anymore. I can't be provoked, goaded, disappointed, betrayed, shamed or upset because I've been there and done that so many times, and survived through anger, that I feel invulnerable.

Sure, there are new things on my experiential horizon that may test me, but I have the will to face it. Don't try to change, embrace it. Anger will burn you clean.

lusker said:

I can't be provoked, goaded, disappointed, betrayed, shamed or upset because I've been there and done that so many times, and survived through anger, that I feel invulnerable.

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What kind of person does that make, without the ability to feel shamed, disappointed, or betrayed? No moral compass?

Omnisiac said:

lusker said:

I can't be provoked, goaded, disappointed, betrayed, shamed or upset because I've been there and done that so many times, and survived through anger, that I feel invulnerable.

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What kind of person does that make, without the ability to feel shamed, disappointed, or betrayed? No moral compass?

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Well spotted! None whatsoever. I rely on my own ethics, not social mores, to guide my behaviour. Morality is one of my most hated words.

The only thing that really causes long-term anger with me is betrayal, especially from friends or people close to me.

I guess I think its important to feel ashamed, or betrayed. Too often in our society we try and remove the feelings that hurt us with pharmaceuticals...not sure I spelled that right. ...or try and bottle it up. I just think there is a reason that humans even have those feelings. They must have been useful for something else they wouldn't be ingrained in our biology. Sure they suck but they teach us things. Stove is hot, women like that are bad news, I probably shouldn't pay for sex...ect.

Omnisiac said:

I guess I think its important to feel ashamed, or betrayed... They must have been useful for something else they wouldn't be ingrained in our biology. Sure they suck but they teach us things. Stove is hot, women like that are bad news, I probably shouldn't pay for sex...ect.

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I think experience teaches us the stove is hot, not morals. As for hookers and 'that' type of woman...? Experience has taught me that they are a shitload of fun, with no harm done to anyone. i believe morals functions to discourage us from doing something in the first place, because somebody else decided two thousand years ago that it is a bad thing to do. I don't need some long-dead Christian zealot telling me what to think, feel and do.

lusker said:

i believe morals functions to discourage us from doing something in the first place, because somebody else decided two thousand years ago that it is a bad thing to do. I don't need some long-dead Christian zealot telling me what to think, feel and do.

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This is very interesting, the way you think.

ladyforsaken said:

lusker said:

i believe morals functions to discourage us from doing something in the first place, because somebody else decided two thousand years ago that it is a bad thing to do. I don't need some long-dead Christian zealot telling me what to think, feel and do.

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This is very interesting, the way you think.

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Why thank you! I think ...

lusker said:

ladyforsaken said:

lusker said:

i believe morals functions to discourage us from doing something in the first place, because somebody else decided two thousand years ago that it is a bad thing to do. I don't need some long-dead Christian zealot telling me what to think, feel and do.

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This is very interesting, the way you think.

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Why thank you! I think ...

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Well, it's just interesting in a way.. made me think and wonder how did morals come about. Or who defined what to be good or bad. Had we thought the same if things were never defined as such. I don't know.. just mindless random thoughts.

Neither mindless nor random, I suspect!

The measure of a person's intellect and humility is their preparedness to question long-held beliefs and, if persuaded, to change them. The best example is religion. So many people's beliefs are set in stone, and if you question them they react aggressively. Which is instructive, because it is always useful to know which buttons you can press on a person to make them lose it.

Call me cruel, but I thinks it's fun to toy with god-botherers.