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Among the Sleep

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I definitely have a drug problem. Not with any one thing in particular, but it's like I'm always trying to fill a hole. I have no control over myself. Every time the opportunity to get high on something presents itself, I take FULL advantage of it. And I love all of em. I love ecstasy, booze, cocaine, especially opiates. I'm coming down off the cocaine and beer from tonight and all I can think about it is how bad I want a klonopin. I know all this honeysuckle affects my mental state in a bad way, but the sad thing is, sobriety doesn't feel any better. You'd think it would, but it's really just boring. Being high all the time is way better, even though you're dealing with comedowns, spending way too much money, etc., at least you get to feel something, even if it's only for a couple hours or something. Can anyone relate? God I'm a fuckin' goose egg.
 
i have friends who are addicted to weed. i myself take drugs regularly but my body rejects it afyer a while which prevents me doing drugs two nites in a row. when i say reject i mean i psycially feel sick to the idea cause i find drugs to be draining and i need breaks. weed however i could smoke regularly but after a while i lose a taste for it.
i only take hard drugs when im on a night out so im on a super happy buzz and weed when im chilling.
 
jetsuo said:
i have friends who are addicted to weed. i myself take drugs regularly but my body rejects it afyer a while which prevents me doing drugs two nites in a row. when i say reject i mean i psycially feel sick to the idea cause i find drugs to be draining and i need breaks. weed however i could smoke regularly but after a while i lose a taste for it.
i only take hard drugs when im on a night out so im on a super happy buzz and weed when im chilling.

I smoke weed sometimes, but it gives me such bad anxiety that I have to be really careful with it. If I take one hit too many I lose my mind. It's actually too bad, cause when I smoke weed (as long as I don't get anxiety) it severely reduces my desire to do any other drugs. I mean I overeat shitty junk food but that's about it haha.

Hmm, surprised there wasn't more of a response to this thread. Isn't it lonely people that need drugs? Ha. Or maybe I'm just a goddamn fool. Oh well.
 
Not sure if lonely people tend to take drugs - perhaps they do but those anti depression or anti anxiety sort of drugs.

I don't do drugs. :D

Come on, it's no good for you, ATS. :\
 
ladyforsaken said:
Not sure if lonely people tend to take drugs - perhaps they do but those anti depression or anti anxiety sort of drugs.

I don't do drugs. :D

Come on, it's no good for you, ATS. :\

Yeah, not at all. I just don't give a fresia sometimes. Blahhh
 
I've been where you are now and that period of my life still has a negative effect on my current life many years later. If I could go back and do my life again I would definitely say no to drugs. When I stopped taking everything else and just stuck to beer and the odd joint, it took about three years before I could really enjoy a night out without drugs. Life is not boring without drugs, it is the addictive side of what you have taken, it affects your brain chemistry to make you think real life is boring. These feelings are temporary and will pass eventually. The sooner you stop the shorter your recovery period will be. You can't go on how you just described indefinitely. It will 100% end in tears one way or another. Another reason I'm lacking friends. Most of the ones I had as a teenager are dead or crazy or heroin addicts.


When taking drugs becomes as mundane and boring and everyday as real life (this might only take a couple of years.) what will your options be then? Greatly reduced from what they are now, I can assure you of that. Get into education, read, research, your mind clearly is craving stimulation and you seem intelligent. I can't urge you enough to reconsider the path you are on. It only leads to bad places.


I would suggest telling your doctor what you have said here. They might decide to give you a short run of anti-depressants to try to stabilize your brain chemistry in the short term. I have found doctors to very understanding on this subject and not scary at all, they can help you stop if you want to.
 
Isn't it lonely people that need drugs?

I was often "left out" with the crowd I used to run with because I was the only one who didn't do drugs. It's hard to relate when the people around you go to a different place you've no interest in exploring.
 
Sometimes, I wish I had drugs. Preferably hallucinogens. What's a lonely person going to do? I'd love to have something to send me out of this world on a nice trip for those really dark lonely nights...and days... Maybe someday.
 
i feel the desire to do drugs, but i dont because of the physical and mental consequences. i will stick with adrenaline rushes and occasionally cutting
 
Yes there was a time where I smoked weed so much I had no idea what was going on half the time. Then I used to get high on pills: sniff them or smoke them... it didn't matter. All I felt was pain all my life and I chose doing these drugs cause I wanted to escape. The more I tried to run away from my problems, things got much worse. Ended up losing my job in the process. I still get mad at myself for chosing the drugs over buying something else like a movie or CD which I knew would have been the better choice. All my money went to the drugs. Right now I'm recovering and I get a lot of bad days but I still try to remain strong. I'm sorry to hear that your going through this right now. Hope things get better for you, cause it sucks for anyone to be stuck in that cycle. It's so easy to get addicted but it's a lot harder to walk away from. Trust me it was so hard for me, I didn't realize until it hit rock bottom for me.
 
FYI, weed isnt physically addictive. It can become a habit or psychologically addictive like everything else. Seems it needed to be pointed out. thx
 
Unwanted94 said:
Sometimes, I wish I had drugs. Preferably hallucinogens. What's a lonely person going to do? I'd love to have something to send me out of this world on a nice trip for those really dark lonely nights...and days... Maybe someday.

They can be good for situations like this but you need to be strong-minded and not have too many negative thoughts about yourself, or they will possibly be amplified x10000000

Not every trip is a good one.
 
running with pain said:
i feel the desire to do drugs, but i dont because of the physical and mental consequences. i will stick with adrenaline rushes and occasionally cutting

Good that you don't do drugs.

But man, don't do the cutting. :(
 
ippi said:
FYI, weed isnt physically addictive. It can become a habit or psychologically addictive like everything else. Seems it needed to be pointed out. thx

There is an absolute tonne of material out there contradicting you, I'm afraid. I've spent the last eleven years dealing with drug users of all types, and while the stoners are the most mellow and non-violent of the lot, they definitely develop a physiological addiction.
 
I used to use drugs every week for months, sometimes I'd have a break and sometimes I'd use whatever I had multiple times a week. I got kind of hooked on ecstacy/pure MDMA for a couple of months but the comedown became so horrible I stopped. Since last summer I've only used pills 3 times (and just half a pill each time). I also used speed but I hate the comedown/hangover, used cocaine but I rarely bought that myself because it's so expensive. If I were you I'd definitely stop using pills/MDMA, speed (if you use it) and coke. MDMA and speed are the cause of your hollow feeling and coke is too addicting to risk.

I myself don't use drugs anymore that much (once every 2 to 3 months or so) and it has really improved my well being. I actually don't have any contact with most of my drug "friends" anymore because they remind me of the worst period of my life. I suggest you to stop too. There is one drug though that I've used a lot to fill the void after I quit using speed and MDMA, it's ketamine. I used it as a party drug and as a psychedelic and it's pretty much harmless as far as I know. Daily use would be stupid because it's kind of addicting, but it actually works as an anti-depressant (proven) and it gives some very useful insights in your own mind. If you really need something to fill the void (like I did) for a while, ketamine is the way to go.

Obviously it's a better idea to just quit, but IMO ketamine is the only drug that has actually helped me.
 
Of all the things I have put up my nose, ketamine ranks number 3 on the horrid list, next to extremely hot chilli sauce and Prozac. I also hatehatehate the effects of it, but this is of course preference. I just don't understand how people can like it.
 
I love it. I like how you can dose it and how you can make the trip as intense as you like, and how your total view of reality just changes into something you've never seen before, over and over again. I used to just use a little at party's, and use a bit more at home. Sometimes if the setting was right I'd just take everything I had at once.

It can be a scary experience if you don't know what to expect I guess, but I'm able to dose it very good now and if I take too much I know how to cope with it or enjoy it.
 
See when it first became popular over here, I thought I would really like it. I was a big fan of mushrooms and acid and pretty much anything else that came my way, and could snort anything quite easily. But Ketamine just felt really harsh on my nose, and made me feel really sick every time I took it, in any amount.
 
To be honest being high is awesome, I used to love being high.

Then one day I realised my life was being high or getting high, and that's not much of a life.

Five years on sometimes I still feel like I'm recovering, and that in some respects I never will. Luckily I've lost the desire
 
I would love to use (non addictive) drugs, I just don't know where or how to get it. I think I know my own limits so I probably would never get addicted anyways.
If it was possible to buy it online, I'd have done it ages ago.

For now, when I feel bad, wodka is the way to go. Love it, but hate the hangover afterwards as my stomach can't handle alcohol real much..
 

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