I don't feel equal to people

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CyaReality

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Hey this is going to be a rant I guess so yeah.. When I talk to people either online or real life, ESPECIALLY attractive girls, I feel completely unworthy and lesser to them. I have no confidence because I hate my appearance due to being overweight. It pisses me off when people say looks don't matter, thats ******* nonsense and you all know it. MOST relationships start with people finding someone physically attractive and it building up emotionally/ psychologically for there. It's much easier to see the great personality/ emotional connection to somebody if your physically attracted to them. You could throw the love of your lifes mind into some ugly persons body and it would seem totally different. fresia my life! I don't even have any motivation to change I'm just a lazy lethargic waste of space.
 
Hey CyaReality,

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I don't know if this is going to piss you off or not, but I'd like to make a few points:

Yes, physical attraction is important, but there are quite a few overweight people who are in relationships.

I wouldn't care if the love of my life was in a "ugly persons body". Why? Because love is about more than physical attraction.

You are not a lesser person than anyone, attractive girl or otherwise. I can relate to this feeling, because I feel this same way all the time, every waking second of every day. I'd bet others on this forum have felt this too. That doesn't mean its true. You are lying to yourself when you feel this way.

If you have the motivation to get this angry, you can motivate yourself to change . I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you can't just give up. I gave up once, and the anger and resentment grew until that is all that I felt, and eventually I didn't feel anything anymore. Being an empty shell is worse than being angry. I hope it never happens to you. I hope you fight it.

If you want to lose weight and its possible to do so, then do it. If its not possible, you can still improve your self esteem and confidence, because there are good things about you. No one is a lesser or unworthy person.

Again, I hope you fight these feelings. If you ever need anything, I'm here. And on the chance that you want to rant and don't want anyone to respond, there's a Diary section. I've used it a couple of times, and it can be helpful.
 
i agree with lock and let me say one thing confidence social skills are more than looks 'cos if you look good and have no personality you will stir an attraction but you will lose it as soon as you open your mouth so don't stop trying and like yourself
 
Hey, there are so many different types of people in the world. There are people that are good and bad, large and small, gay and straight, dark and light, thin and fat, smart and dumb, strong and weak, this and that, etc. The list goes on.
So really in the whole picture, there is logically no reason for you to feel bad about yourself. No we are not all equal, but its just the way things are.
So what if you don't feel like an attractive person. The majority of people aren't either.
So just be yourself. If people can't appreciate your differences they are closed minded and ignorant.

If you are not happy with your weight, then you can change it. And do it for YOU. Not for anyone else.
 
EveWasFramed said:
CyaReality said:
I have no confidence because I hate my appearance due to being overweight.

If you feel this strongly about it, wouldn't the solution be to drop some weight?

Yeah. I'm just ranting sorry.. I know I obviously need to put some effort in


LeaningIntoTheMuse said:
Don't you think unattractive girls feel the same way?

Yeah, whats that got to do with anything though lol
 
You stated that you felt uncomfortable around attractive girls, because you are overweight. How do you think overweight girls feel around you?
 
Is that you in your AV? If so you don't look overweight at all, are you sure this isn't your own warped perception of yourself? Though it sounds like an insult, many people experience this without even knowing - kinda like when anorexic's look in the mirror and see themselves as overweight (Though that's an extreme example).
 
9006 makes a good point. If that's you, you have nothing to worry about. You look great, and I'm not just saying that. Trust me, you aren't overweight. I often see myself as overweight too, but then when I mention it to others, I'm almost laughed at. I think we all have "funhouse mirror syndrome." Whenever we look in the mirror, we get a general idea of what we look like, but I think our insecurities like to play tricks with us and distort what's actually there.

In any sense, you should never feel inferior to anyone else. Why would ANY ugly or overweight or whatever person be inferior to someone who is handsome or beautiful? Because of looks? That's silly! Just because someone isn't as striking as someone else doesn't mean they're inferior. To put it into perspective, when you see someone you would deem overweight or ugly, I'm sure you don't feel superior to them.
 

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