This explains exactly how I feel but fails to offer a solution

One of the things that I have been feeling for a long time now is an extreme bitterness and repulsiveness towards people. When I'm at home, I have a "I don't give a **** if they all die in an apocalypse this very second" attitude towards everyone (including members of my family and every acquaintance-friend) and when I'm out (doesn't happen often), I feel a certain hatred towards people, so much so that I don't even look at them.

I mean, to make you realize how I feel, I can watch a person die right in front of me without even flinching or offering to help. This is beyond my control, believe me.

So last night, I started looking up stuff on how to get rid of it and I came across this article. When I read through the symptoms part, I relate with every one of the points mentioned. I mean, it's almost crazy and it feels like the writer can read my mind or has been stalking me and studying how I feel.

Sadly, the writer fails to provide a solution to the problem. Does anyone here have any?

I feel for you, I used to be pretty bitter about life myself. Though your situation does sound a little more extreme than mine way.

I don't know what changed for me, I don't think I made a conscious decision to change. I think something deep down just snapped and I'd had enough of the misery it was causing me. I guess there's only so much honeysuckle a man can take before he decides to fight back and do something about his problems.

Not that I'm saying you should just wait to 'snap.' The article does mention a few things at the end which sound like reasonable places to start. But I think that the most important factor is your attitude towards change. If you really want to sort it out and loose the bitterness you have to have the willpower to be able to change the way you think about everything. You need to be able to recognize when you're being bitter, address the issue of why and most of all try your hardest not to pay attention to what it tells you. If you think you're in control of your mind and not the other way around then you'll be in a much better frame of mind to cope.

They see changing themselves as selling out and 'letting them win
If this is how you feel then you must understand that it simply isn't true. I know it might feel that way but take it from me, I am a much happier person since I dropped my bitterness. I don't feel like anyone has "won," except me.

I know it's hard, really, but if you believe you can change then there is nothing stopping you from doing so. I hope you can manage it and find a way to move on. I'm sorry I can't give more specific advice but I think it is different for everyone and sometimes you have to find the methods that work best for you.

Remember though, this forum will always be here to provide support. I know in your current state you don't give a honeysuckle about us (due to the bitterness) but we give a honeysuckle about you. We're here to help and you should use that help whenever you need it.

Well yes there is a answer, but it means you have to care about other people more than yourself. It means finding something you have to offer others, other wise you don't have a purpose.

If you want to have value ? Find what you have to give ?

You see when you make others feel better, your pain and anger just isn't as important anymore, you replaced it with something better, that feels good.

Alienated said:

Well yes there is a answer, but it means you have to care about other people more than yourself. It means finding something you have to offer others, other wise you don't have a purpose.

If you want to have value ? Find what you have to give ?

You see when you make others feel better, your pain and anger just isn't as important anymore, you replaced it with something better, that feels good.

Click to expand...

I have to agree with this (mostly). A lot of people find that giving of themselves to others will make them feel better within.

EveWasFramed said:

Alienated said:

Well yes there is a answer, but it means you have to care about other people more than yourself. It means finding something you have to offer others, other wise you don't have a purpose.

If you want to have value ? Find what you have to give ?

You see when you make others feel better, your pain and anger just isn't as important anymore, you replaced it with something better, that feels good.

Click to expand...

I have to agree with this (mostly). A lot of people find that giving of themselves to others will make them feel better within.

Click to expand...

But I don't think I will. I feel like if others don't care about me and only come to me when they want something from me, why should I care about them and do what they want? Something like this was discussed in another thread here.

I've tried helping out others, lending a listening ear and stuff but that feeling of having done something better is only a fleeting one. And I don't feel like my friends really value me, they just want me because of what I can do and not what I am.

And what if I just don't have/want to have a purpose? Can't I live for myself?

SomeoneSomewhere said:

EveWasFramed said:

Alienated said:

Well yes there is a answer, but it means you have to care about other people more than yourself. It means finding something you have to offer others, other wise you don't have a purpose.

If you want to have value ? Find what you have to give ?

You see when you make others feel better, your pain and anger just isn't as important anymore, you replaced it with something better, that feels good.

Click to expand...

I have to agree with this (mostly). A lot of people find that giving of themselves to others will make them feel better within.

Click to expand...

But I don't think I will. I feel like if others don't care about me and only come to me when they want something from me, why should I care about them and do what they want? Something like this was discussed in another thread here.

I've tried helping out others, lending a listening ear and stuff but that feeling of having done something better is only a fleeting one. And I don't feel like my friends really value me, they just want me because of what I can do and not what I am.

And what if I just don't have/want to have a purpose? Can't I live for myself?

Click to expand...

That's your prerogative, let me know how that works out for you... Maybe you ought to run for political office, that's what they do too.

Howdy,
I read your note about what is going on with you and how you feel toward others. There are many ways to approach this, psychotherapy, religion, medicine, etc. Questions to ask yourself, have I always been this way? What turned me this way? Was it because of my past actions? Am I a part of the problem? Why should I believe my thinking? Could it be my thinking is wrong? Search yourself hard, that is no way to live. None of us asked to be here or planned it, and sometimes we have a hard time adjusting to life with others. everyone wants to love and be accepted. Sometimes our instincts for security go overboard and we try to wrest more than our share of it out of this life. You are just as important but not more than the very next person. Our minds tell us otherwise, reality indicates differently. Try to see yourself in other people. You may find that many people are better than you and you want what they have! They may be more kind, generous, friendly, compassionate, etc. If you hate people, you just may hate yourself. Learn to love yourself and that way you can learn to love others. I feel your pain. I have lived that negativity also, even with my own children, and ex-spouse. I still have problems with relationships, but I have learned to not always believe my mind, things are not always as they seem. I don't burn my bridges just in case my thinking WAS wrong, keep my mouth shut when I am negative so I don't hurt others, am diligent about doing what it takes to feel good about myself including minimizing regretful actions. I have found that what changes my life is not my thinking but my actions. It ,does not matter how I feel or what I think, it is what I do that changes my life for good or bad. try to look at yourself and understand where thee feelings emanate and go for change. Remember, pride cometh before the fall. I personally have found that having a God in my life has helped me tremendously. Something to think about. Good luck and I hope things work out for you.[/color][/i][/font]