Friends don't hangout with me anymore

This is gonna be a pretty long read, but to those who are willing to read it,please help me out with this?

I've had a group of four friends i've known since 8th grade. We always hung out after school or whenever we could over the summers. Unfortunately, i had to move during the second half of 8th grade. I moved to a different county. Nonetheless, we still kept in touch a lot during the summer of 8th grade. This would be either through text or more often, online video games. We would always get online and play cal of duty whenever we could sometimes staying up late and having a blast. Aside from this, we still hung out in person often surprisingly. I would always get my mom to drive me down to their neighborhood and we would hangout in person. I was able to move back to the county i used to live in but i go to a different school than them now.

Over time, especially last summer i have started to hangout with them less and less. Now i don't know if maybe they genuinely "couldn't hangout" or "didn't feel like it" or whether they just didn't wanna hangout with me and hung out amongst themselves instead. So lets say my group of friends are friends A, B, C , and D.

Point is, they were never consistent with what they said about when they could hangout. Sometimes they "cant hangout" when i ask them to but suddenly they can go fishing with each other (Friend B and C mainly) . Other times they would all go see a movie or go hangout without saying a word to me . There were times when one or two people said they couldn't hangout while the other two could. When i got with the two who could hangout and we asked the two friends who said they "couldn't hangout" to go outside, they suddenly could go. Again point is, they don't hangout with me as they used to. And they rarely asked me to go hangout with them like the previous summer.

Remember how i said we used to always play online video games? Only friends A,B and me play. And for some reason they will always have time for that. They wont ask me to go outside with them or hangout that much anymore but when it comes to PS3, they always ask me 90% of the time.
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Most recently this happened today. On Tuesday i asked my friend B to hangout on Friday. Only him and i did it mainly just for laughs and giggles just to see what would happen because i couldn't hangout on Friday anyways. I began by asking him if he was free wed and Thurs to which he said no. I asked about Fri if he wanted to go outside and he said idc. Im like alright lets go friday then dude to which he didn't reply anything. Now there is still the group message that has all of us in it including me. Today in the group message i saw a conversation between friend A and B talking about how they were going to see a movie Fri. I just ignored them, until friend B texts me and says "idk if i can i might go to the movies". This im assuming is continuing the conversation we had THREE DAYS ago about me asking him to hangout on Fri. I ask him why hes telling me this now and all he says is "i forgot" and said i can come if i get my own ride. I do my best to just let it go and say alright we can go outside next week.

I know i shouldn't be mad over one little thing, but this isn't the first time. This is one of several similar incidents that have happened over the summer like i said. I dont hangout with them anymore that much in person. Its not because we dont talk anymore because we still do. Mainly during online PS3 and ocasionally in group chat. Its more "i cant i have hw" or "don't feel like it".

I really dont know what to do. Right now, i feel like im just gonna let things slide by until that point when i just cant take this BS anymore. I dont wanna leave them since ive known them longer than anyone else. But when that point comes when i cant take the BS anymore, im probably just gonna move on with my life.

Im sure a lot of you feel the same way i do. Its easy to make new friends, but its hard to make real ones u keerp for a long time.

What are your thoughts? Anything you guys think i should do? Any help or advice you have would be much appreciated.

Any questions you guys might have, i'll be happy to answer them.

Hey. It sounds like you guys are just moving in different directions
Really hard to cope with, I'm struggling with that myself.

I do think you have to follow their lead. Meaning if they continually blow you off, then maybe it's time to move on and find friends in your new county that can hang out.

This stuff sucks. I'm sorry your going through it.

Yeah I guess i'll have to then. Remember that recent incident I just told you about? Today, one of them texts me saying if i can go outside. I ask the other friend (Friend B) if he was coming and even called him to ask but he didn't pick up.

I was just so tired I asked Friend A over text if they didn't wanna hangout anymore. I asked him what the heck has been going on lately and he just says "where did you get that from i never said that". I told him how this BS wasn't the first time and its been going on for a while to which he didn't respond.

I kind of took it all out on him even though he wasn't the one who BS me most of the time, but I'm just sick of it right now. Don't know what to do anymore lol.

I would say you are right to say something about it but to just be careful how you do it... I have a tendency to get hurt and then push people away... so I'm not happy with the way things are but then just make it worse.

It does sound like you guys are growing apart. You also need to consider how you act when you do get together. If your all hurt and angry, you're not hanging out enough, and then when you do, you show it, they will of course want to hang out with you less.

I mean I've been wanting to do something for the past summer. I never said anything just to see how it would go. I finally said something today over text. He never replied back and all three of them conversed in group message like nothing is going on. It's like i'm not even a part of the group anymore (i am in group message but I never say anything). They don't care how I am since they all go to the same school. They see each other every day.

How are we when we hangout? First off, we rarely hangout together as a whole group. All 5 of us. It might be 2/5 (me and friend a) or 3/5 but rarely have we been all together. When we are though, its normal. Just like the way things were back then. When paying online games, its like nothing happened. I could probably play with them online tonight and we'll all play like nothing happened. It's probably only me who feels like we don't hangout anymore. Probably only me who even has the slightest feeling that I can't describe. Everything seems normal but on the inside it's like "this isn't the same" or something.

I mean, is it because they don't need me anymore? Friend B always asks me to play online games with him, and i used to always do that. But after not hanging out in person for a while, I get that feeling they only hangout with me when they need me. In this case, online PS3 since only me and friend a and b play PS3.

It is obvious you are hurt. But who are you really hurting more by refusing to speak up in the group chats? The thing is you're right. They are close to each other physically and you are not. They go to the same school and will automatically talk more and see each other more... and I think you are right. They don't need you anymore. But here's the thing you're missing. They never needed you in the first place. They just liked being around you. A person doesn't need that many friends, just a couple of good ones.

I would suggest you talk to them. Tell them how you're feeling. But don't do it all pissed, accusing them, and all that. It's like you said, it's probably only you who feels like you don't hangout anymore. I'd probably just say something like guys, is it me or do we never hangout anymore? Make it obvious, that you really want to hangout more. You're the one who lives farther away, if you want to keep that friendship strong you're going to have to work harder at it. Life isn't fair. You need them more than they need you. But that doesn't mean you still can't be good friends.

Wow. Thanks so much for the advice.

Yeah, in group chats over summer I did say that a lot. There was even a time when group chat was just... dead. I didn't know what to do so I started up a group chat with 30 other people. Yeah 30 lol. Pretty stupid. But after that everyone was talking in group chat again.

i've tried numerous times talking in group chat. Either they don't respond or they give me that bs again. It's only recently I gave up since I started feeling it was pointless.

I'll take your advice and give it maybe 1 or 2 tries more. maybe I'll talk to them tonight if they got on the stupid online games. Playing video games is fun and all, but I don't wanna keep playing PS3 with them if all they do is inv me to PS3 and none of them inv me outside.

but what happens if they don't respond or give me BS? Is that a sign it's time to juts ignore them, turn off the imessage to stop receiving their group chats and just move on?

If you seriously make an obvious effort and they still don't respond then you have a big decision to make. You could just go all in, and say something like if you guys don't want to be friends anymore then have it your way. Deciding to end a long and close relationship is a huge decision in life. I can't make that for you.

I'll say as much as you "prepare" yourself for losing that friend or in your case friends, it will be a lot rougher when it actually happens. Even when moving on is the right move in your brain, your emotions don't usually agree. Especially when they obviously mean a lot to you. There's a lot of history there. You feel this bad knowing that they aren't really around. Imagine how bad you would feel if they were never going to be around again.

That last sentence really describes how I feel man. It really feels the right thing to do is just MOVE ON. But I've been with these guys for a while and it isn't easy. Nonetheless, I feel like they don't feel the same way and couldn't care less.

I'm probably gonna just turn of imessage, which will turn off my group message. I'll just stop talking to them, and see if they do the same which they probably won't. Honestly don't care at this point. If they do decide to say something, I'll think about it then. After all I said to one of my friends about if they didn't wanna hangout anymore, then they should just tell me. He never responded back and kept acting like everything was normal in group chat. I mean, I've been the one in those periods of times when none of us have hung out for a while to initiate the conversation and ask them to lets hangout.

3 of us planned to build our own computers over the summer for gaming. I mean, i was looking forward to that, and there were times when you know it just went "empty". Nobody said anything about it for like a couple weeks and I kept bringing it up. I wanted to stick to the plan and move along with it. Eventually though, my friend came up with some BS saying he didn't wanna build the computer with us since he was saving money for a trip to a different country next year for his family. Lol if he actually goes to Korea next year I'll be surprised. Aside from this, I was always the one who wanted to keep this group around for a long time. Every time I felt like we hadn't talked in a while, I'd ask in the group chat for everyone to go outside. I had high hopes, but I guess idk what happened. Pretty disappointing. What I am learning is that a friendship cannot happen or last if only one person is doing all the work. If im the only one in the group who wants to hangout with them, but all of them don't, there is no point in wasting my time trying. Instead, I should be focusing on making new friends.

Sorry for that rant, gotta get this crap off my mind. But lastly, thanks for the help! I really appreciate it. I'll try and just move on for now and see how it goes. Yeah, I've got a lot of history with them and we've had great times. But if i'm the only one whos trying to keep this ship afloat, i'm wasting my time at this point.