I've never had a significant "breakup" before. But having that person who you used to spend all your time with disappear suddenly, knowing that you caused it, and knowing she's happy and moved on from you. How do you deal? I just can't. I feel like I'll never meet someone that passionate again. She was the first person to ever really "value" my presence.
How do you get over that person who suddenly leaves your life?
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KIller_Cuteness
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I understand how hard this can be. I am going through a break up currently as well. All I can suggest is to acknowledge your emotions as they come. Let your self feel grief and go through the process. You may feel mixed up and all kinds of things but just feel it and acknowledge it and then move on. Eventually you will understand that things are over and you will be able to move on and grow from the experience.
Hope this helps!
Hope this helps!
Garbageman
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Mostly time, let yourself grieve for awhile, but try not to dwell or focus on it for to long. After you allow yourself some time to go through some emotions, just begin to try to focus on other things, I find anything self improvement related to be really helpful. And after that its just time. Hang in there, and don't beat yourself up. 
EveWasFramed
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Garbageman said:Mostly time, let yourself grieve for awhile, but try not to dwell or focus on it for to long. After you allow yourself some time to go through some emotions, just begin to try to focus on other things, I find anything self improvement related to be really helpful. And after that its just time. Hang in there, and don't beat yourself up.
^^ This - exactly.
Revengineer
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This describes me practically to the letter. It's almost kind of bizarre.
She was the first and only one to ever care about me in that way. We were never a "couple" but we spent much of our time together, and we both had strong feelings for each other. In the end I was a coward, I never confessed what I truly felt, which is that she was the best thing to ever happen to me. She finally stopped caring and is now happy with someone who deserves her more than I ever did.
Sometimes I think about how happy we were and I wonder if I'll ever feel that way again. I try not to think about it too much.
She was the first and only one to ever care about me in that way. We were never a "couple" but we spent much of our time together, and we both had strong feelings for each other. In the end I was a coward, I never confessed what I truly felt, which is that she was the best thing to ever happen to me. She finally stopped caring and is now happy with someone who deserves her more than I ever did.
Sometimes I think about how happy we were and I wonder if I'll ever feel that way again. I try not to think about it too much.
ladyforsaken
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blackdot said:
Danielle
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Time heals all.... I agree with what everyone is saying. Keep no contact... no Fb stalking or anything like that. allow yourself time to mourn, and then pick yourself up and keep on walking. it hurts.. believe me, I know it does.... but this too shall pass...
(hug)
(hug)
Mike510
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I just went through this a few months ago. Your not going to ever fully stop caring for that person but you need to allow yourself to be able to meet new people. If you believe you will never find anyone as amazing as she was then you begin to shut yourself off from meeting other possible women because you hold them to such a high standard.
For me, it was last August/September. IT still hurts to know what happened, why and how... I don't contact him, see him, or have anything to do with him. It makes it worse to do so, especially if you tend to do the whole "they are doing a lot better than I am..." which only makes you feel even worse.
It takes a lot of time. Just don't compare anyone new to her. You'll end up losing them too.
It takes a lot of time. Just don't compare anyone new to her. You'll end up losing them too.
R
Rosebolt
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ladyforsaken said:
Depends, if you actually want to or not.
LeaningIntoTheMuse
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Realize it was just never meant to be, and let them go.
Locke
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-Sai- said:
Of course you have to want it eventually, but there are a lot of factors: How much you loved the person, what kind of support system you have to help you get through it, what kind of person you are, how bad the break-up was....
Very few things of this nature depend solely on how much you want it.
ladyforsaken
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-Sai- said:
I never thought it would be this hard even if I wanted it so much so badly.
Danielle said:
That's my biggest problem. I can't help myself keeping tabs on her on her. She pretty much journals her life on social networks and has accounts on so many sites. She went from being miserable about me on those sites to being completely happy.
I know nothing good can come out of it. There is literally nothing I could possibly see that could make me feel better, only worse. Just two days ago I know somebody booty called her, and she HAPPILY went. She's from San Diego, and he's on a 6 week tour of California visiting from Britain. She visited LA two weeks ago, bumped into him in a bar, had some drinks, had a one night stand, but enjoyed it. It's part of the reason she got over me. Now he visited San Diego for two days pretty much just to bootycall her. There is no real relationship there. They won't ever be a couple. She's just enjoying the sex. That's even worse and I let myself know it happened.
I read all you guys wrote and I know the reason I can't move on is I don't let myself do it. I keep finding out what she's doing, and she's happily living life. Doing that makes it impossible for me to. I tell myself to just stay away. But it's like a drug now. Knowing how she's doing initially makes me feel so much better. Only to quickly make me feel worse.
If you have her on FB, unfriend her. Even opt to block, if you find yourself still searching her up (and she doesn't have her settings on "contacts only").
You feel happy she is happy - but initially upset because YOU are not there, in her happiness - or the reason for her happiness. Youll literally have to force yourself to block her out. It's REALLY hard, trust me.
You may also have to accept that what she is doing right now (her one night stands), is a sign she really doesn't want to settle down. Do you? Probably. Reminding yourself "she is not ready for a relationship" is another thing. I've had to do that.
You feel happy she is happy - but initially upset because YOU are not there, in her happiness - or the reason for her happiness. Youll literally have to force yourself to block her out. It's REALLY hard, trust me.
You may also have to accept that what she is doing right now (her one night stands), is a sign she really doesn't want to settle down. Do you? Probably. Reminding yourself "she is not ready for a relationship" is another thing. I've had to do that.
Senamian said:
If it was only FB it would be easier. She also keeps two tumblr pages, youtube, twitter(the biggest one), and lifecasts occasionally. Those are all public pages. I've come to realize from all this that I have no willpower. I stay away as long as I can until I eventually break.
I have no idea how Twitter works, mainly because I don't use it in the first place Though the one thing I found with FB, it made it harder when "so and so tagged ________(aka ex) in a photo" and it plasters it on the main screen. That's annoying. And unhelpful! lol.
For the feeling upset afterwards - I'm not sure about you, but for me it was "he's doing better than I am" which only brought me down further. Is it that, or wishing you could have been a part of what she is doing, or both?
Though the one thing I found with FB, it made it harder when "so and so tagged ________(aka ex) in a photo" and it plasters it on the main screen. That's annoying. And unhelpful! lol.For the feeling upset afterwards - I'm not sure about you, but for me it was "he's doing better than I am" which only brought me down further. Is it that, or wishing you could have been a part of what she is doing, or both?
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