Do you think some people are destined to be alone?

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Retrospective81

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Ok,

I keep meeting people who I cant seem to et a relationship with. recently I met this lady from another country. We like each other a lot and I have been very honest with myself and my 'troubled' past. But the thing is, she is a devout Muslim and believes she should not be wth or marry a non Muslim guy.

Its the same thing everytime. I also joined a penpals site (interpals) created my profile and posted my pic but I have a hard time getting any connections or even a reply back.

Does anyone else Strule with online life? anyone else feel online socializing has become more picky like real life then compared to say? 15 years ago?
 
No.

I don't believe that anyone is destined for anything.

Except maybe death. Everybody dies.
 
yes that's very true actually. We are all destined for death in all certainty. Just I keep getting into the same patterns meeting people online. Offline is not an option now as I'm a lot more shy and reserved than I used to be. I keep my head down and talk as little as possible and never sharing my opinions/views for fear of a negative backlash. People offline are better off at a safe distance from me judging by the terrible experiences I have had. I don't hate people anymore, I tend just to notice them and their behaviour good, or bad, as little as possible.
 
Sad as it may seem, the fact is that not all people get the same comforts and opportunities in life, in fact, when you really think about it, no one is ever completely satisfied with what he has, because human nature obliges us to always be unsatisfied. As for destiny, I do believe that there is no such thing, you make your own luck.
 
Retrospective81 said:
Ok,

I keep meeting people who I cant seem to et a relationship with. recently I met this lady from another country. We like each other a lot and I have been very honest with myself and my 'troubled' past. But the thing is, she is a devout Muslim and believes she should not be wth or marry a non Muslim guy.

Its the same thing everytime. I also joined a penpals site (interpals) created my profile and posted my pic but I have a hard time getting any connections or even a reply back.

Does anyone else Strule with online life? anyone else feel online socializing has become more picky like real life then compared to say? 15 years ago?

It is a lot harder for some people than others.

I wouldn't just do 'online' - you have to go out and meet people.
 
In my experience, meeting people online isn't all that different from offline: You might meet dozens, hundreds - a lot - of people every year, but only a few who you really click well with.

Some people can become friends with almost anyone they meet, but I can't, and you probably can't either, Retro. That's not necessarily bad. It just means that you have to keep reaching out to as many people as possible. It's difficult, it sucks sometimes and you might get your feelings hurt, but sooner or later you'll meet someone who likes you for who you are.

I count myself lucky that I made a few really good friends on this site, but it took a lot of time and patience before I found them.
 
Yeah Locke there are a few good people on this site I know. Sad at the time I pushed them away :(


Triple, meeting people offline is certainly too hard now at the moment as I'm not the guy I was. I'm closed up and guarded because of too many bad experiences sadly :\ I talk very low and softly, and say very little compared to my previous personality of being an extrovert. I work with people too and I used to see the ugly side of them. luckily, my new way of coping is to just not notice them at all.
 
Online is pretty much the same as offline. Maybe a little worse because on online people can pick and choose a little bit better then they can in real life. Its also easy to lose connections you make with people online because all they have to do is delete you from their contact list like you never existed. Its a little bit harder to do that in real life. No one is destined for anything you create your own destiny. Some people maybe dealt a bad hand in life but its up to them if they want to turn it around. Life is just one big game with many turns sometimes your dealt a bad hand or the dice doesnt fall in your favorite. You can always learn to play the game differently or let it play you. You can either be the creator of the game and make your own rules so the dice does fall in your favor or you can follow anothers rules on how to play the game. If others have destined your rules to have you alone then youll be alone.
 
I don't know, sometimes the loneliness is because of old patterns, but some other times things just happen and it is no one's fault, if one believes in karma it may very well be that some people are destined to be alone for one or more lives. This said, destiny can change all the time, for instance by creating opposite karma, only we cannot know how long it will take. It's one theory that makes you feel you can do something, but also that gives some kind of explanation to all the honeysuckle coming one's way.
 
If destiny is a predetermined course of events, how can destiny "change?" If one follows that you can change your destiny, doesn't that mean that whatever you change was never actually predetermined? If so, then is there really a such thing as "destiny" when it comes to people's lives? Im thinking no.
Very interesting.
 
Retrospective81 said:
Yeah Locke there are a few good people on this site I know. Sad at the time I pushed them away :(

Yeah, you did. You might push people away again someday, or they might push you away. But if they don't want to talk to you, you can either keep feeling sorry over lost friendships and opportunities, or you can keep trying to make new friends.

As a good friend just reminded me: Sometimes people come into your life and leave unexpectedly. It's not destiny. It's a choice to accept that things didn't work out, learn from any mistakes and move forward. This is especially true for online friendships.
 
Locke said:
...you can either keep feeling sorry over lost friendships and opportunities, or you can keep trying to make new friends.

outside of context... it's what that says about you. If enough people react negatively it affects self image.
 
rdor said:
Locke said:
...you can either keep feeling sorry over lost friendships and opportunities, or you can keep trying to make new friends.

outside of context... it's what that says about you. If enough people react negatively it affects self image.

Considering the original post and how upset he seems over past friendships that failed, I'd say his self image is already affected. I'm trying to tell him to keep going, because that's all you can really do if you don't want to be alone. How is that out of context?

And why pick apart my post without adding any advice of your own or contributing?
 
Locke said:
rdor said:
Locke said:
...you can either keep feeling sorry over lost friendships and opportunities, or you can keep trying to make new friends.

outside of context... it's what that says about you. If enough people react negatively it affects self image.

Considering the original post and how upset he seems over past friendships that failed, I'd say his self image is already affected. I'm trying to tell him to keep going, because that's all you can really do if you don't want to be alone. How is that out of context?

And why pick apart my post without adding any advice of your own or contributing?

sorry I meant MY comment was out of (strict) context, since he was talking about online relationship.s
 
rdor said:
sorry I meant MY comment was out of (strict) context, since he was talking about online relationship.s

I'm Sorry. I guess I misunderstood. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, and I only did because I'm not in the best mood today.
 
Thanks for the advice above guys really appreciate it. I hope you are feeling better today Locke :). You're right, I no loner am going to mull over the lost friendships here. I think I only did it to try and really et it out of my system and if these people I hurt saw my posts, they know I truly was sorry. But like you, said, moving forward and beyond! I've made a few new friends on Skype and so far so good. As for doing what I did again as in the past, I can safely say It wont happen again. I have truly learned from my mistakes in that department. like I said *smiling* moving on!
 
Retrospective81 said:
Ok,

I keep meeting people who I cant seem to et a relationship with. recently I met this lady from another country. We like each other a lot and I have been very honest with myself and my 'troubled' past. But the thing is, she is a devout Muslim and believes she should not be wth or marry a non Muslim guy.

Its the same thing everytime. I also joined a penpals site (interpals) created my profile and posted my pic but I have a hard time getting any connections or even a reply back.

Does anyone else Strule with online life? anyone else feel online socializing has become more picky like real life then compared to say? 15 years ago?


im destined
 
No. I think some people need to look at themselves instead of every possible external things such as destiny.
 
I definitely agree. Some people are destined to be alone for good. Some are comfortable with it, unfortunately most people (it seems) aren't. There's no solution, if that's what you're looking for. Try to make your single life as enjoyable as possible (it does have some advantages!). On the whole, I'm still looking to come to terms with it myself.
 

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