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HappyHour

Member
Joined
Oct 30, 2013
Messages
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Location
UK
I'm new here so here goes.

Basically I'm 19 years of age, I'm a shy male and i find it extremely difficult to communicate with people in general. I really do try to stay positive in life although it's extremely difficult sometimes. Basically i left school with poor grades as i had alot going on in my life at the time, sometimes i just wanted to close my eyes and never wake up again.

My dad died when i was a young teenager, 13 to be exact. I've never been the same since. Basically i gradually lost all my freinds and quite literally had no one except my sister i still couldn't talk to her about those things though, as she was 3 years older than me and we use to argue all the time. ( you know what brothers and sisters are like especially at that age)

Then a year down the line when i turned 14 my sister moved out with her boyfreind another year goes by and my mum quite literally "lost the plot" if you like and kept banging doors, shouting her head off and generally not caring about me at all. I had no one to turn to no one to comfort me no freinds no one to ask for help the only good "thing" i had left was my lovely cat. Basically i sat in one room.. this room being my bedroom day in day out feeling depressed, playing games, researching. I was really low and depressed and basically i have been like this for many years and i felt like i was a failure ever since until i found out that one of my "freinds" who i rarely went out with only a few times as a "mate" but he was such a nice person with such a kind heart and such a good personality people would say he was an idiot at times, lol but he was a good one. Anyway i found out that he caused self-harm and tragically passed away which i couldn't believe at the time he was only a couple years older than me...

I'm now attending some "counselling" which hasn't helped me alot tbh.. but i know i have to change and i believe i am gradually, basically that's why i'm on here because i need to change and i want to make a difference to other peoples lives, i got my mum diagnosed with a mental illness a year ago one of the best things i ever did as she is better now as shes on tablets. It was extremely difficult at first to convince her she kept saying stuff like "they will take me away and put me in a mental hospital and you will never see me again, i heard on the radio someone took these tablets and they had a heart attack" etc...she still believes shes normal to this day but hey.. atleast shes on tablets now and is much better and calmer ( no more banging doors etc, yay!) I still find it very difficult to meet new people irl i use to seriously struggle with eye contact( i still do) but it is becoming a little easier now i think. i will check and check and check myself again and again to make sure i look okay before i go out then of course when i get to the front door i stand there for minutes thinking to myself should i go out and face the music? half the time i end up being late because of it, lol i know it sounds stupid. :club: I have been convinced i have had cancer for the past 4 years now i'm talking about testicular cancer here, idk i just keep recieveing pain and also ever since i fell down the stairs just over a year ago my back has never been the same since. ( I'm actually a very safe person, not clumsy at all i was just extremely depressed at that time) I went to the doctors about it recently after leaving it a year he said the pains are down to anxiety.. i don't see how it is tbh, i mean i agree i get very depressed sometimes but i just can't see how the pains are down to anxiety.

SORRY for the long post.. ever since my dad died i have always wanted to be that person who truly cares for others and help others in desperate need. This is why one day i'd like to work in the security industry and for the police, maybe even volunteer as a coastguard on the rnli crews if i secure a fairly well paid job and i'm sure with a little push and courage i will do it. I'm hoping to work in a charity shop in the next month or so.

But no seriously i have come on here to actually get to know other people and make new freinds, not to constantly just talk about my problems and not listen to others, quite the contrary.

I wasn't sure to post this or not..as i never do stuff like this really, like i said i am very shy in real life hope it makes sense, also sorry for the long life story...
 
Hey man, welcome to the forum. :)

It is indeed a long post, but I took the time to read it all because you really do have a very interesting back-story to say. You had a lot of bad things happen in your life, but still managed to keep your sanity, and even help your mom, so congrats for that, you really seem high-spirited. I also like the fact that you want to offer to people, and even have high ambitions for your career. I think the reason you want to help others is because by doing so you help yourself as well, at least this is what I realized for myself since posting regularly in here, helping other people in times of need not only eases their pain, but helps us overcome our loneliness, as well as cultivate our sense of compassion. I think that you will like this forum, and have the opportunity to both get and give support to a big degree.

I'm always up for a good talk, so you can pm me anytime you want to talk. ;)
 
Hi HappyHour :)

HappyHour said:
I still find it very difficult to meet new people irl i use to seriously struggle with eye contact( i still do) but it is becoming a little easier now i think. i will check and check and check myself again and again to make sure i look okay before i go out then of course when i get to the front door i stand there for minutes thinking to myself should i go out and face the music? half the time i end up being late because of it, lol i know it sounds stupid. :club: I have been convinced i have had cancer for the past 4 years now i'm talking about testicular cancer here, idk i just keep recieveing pain and also ever since i fell down the stairs just over a year ago my back has never been the same since. ( I'm actually a very safe person, not clumsy at all i was just extremely depressed at that time) I went to the doctors about it recently after leaving it a year he said the pains are down to anxiety.. i don't see how it is tbh, i mean i agree i get very depressed sometimes but i just can't see how the pains are down to anxiety.

I'm the same with eye contact. And you should see another doctor about your pain.
 
Hi, I hope you'll find some relief talking to people on the forums. Working in a charity shop seems like a great idea (I'd love to do it myself) and I hope you'll like it :)

By the way, strong psychological states can manifests themselves through physiological symptoms like pain. The question is whether it's true in your case or not. I can't say :(
 
Well that is a relief, basically i was thinking the worst what happens if i don't get any replys back? what happens if i get negative reply back? etc.. thanks for welcoming me to the forum and i will see another doctor about my back problem and the other issue i will keep you posted. It's annoying sometimes though as they see so many patients on a daily basis they struggle to understand and they push and rush you to talk as it usually is only a 10 minute appointment then of course they have to fit in an examination into that 10 minute slot as well. Theres me not booking a double appointment for 20 minutes because i think it's greedy and unfair on others, but then at the same time i ask myself if i don't do this then what chance will i have? so i guess i will have to book another appointment on monday, unlikely i will be able to see them tomaz as they are usually fully booked every day will try tomorrow though.
 
HappyHour said:
I'm new here so here goes.

Basically I'm 19 years of age, I'm a shy male and i find it extremely difficult to communicate with people in general. I really do try to stay positive in life although it's extremely difficult sometimes. Basically i left school with poor grades as i had alot going on in my life at the time, sometimes i just wanted to close my eyes and never wake up again.

My dad died when i was a young teenager, 13 to be exact. I've never been the same since. Basically i gradually lost all my freinds and quite literally had no one except my sister i still couldn't talk to her about those things though, as she was 3 years older than me and we use to argue all the time. ( you know what brothers and sisters are like especially at that age)

Then a year down the line when i turned 14 my sister moved out with her boyfreind another year goes by and my mum quite literally "lost the plot" if you like and kept banging doors, shouting her head off and generally not caring about me at all. I had no one to turn to no one to comfort me no freinds no one to ask for help the only good "thing" i had left was my lovely cat. Basically i sat in one room.. this room being my bedroom day in day out feeling depressed, playing games, researching. I was really low and depressed and basically i have been like this for many years and i felt like i was a failure ever since until i found out that one of my "freinds" who i rarely went out with only a few times as a "mate" but he was such a nice person with such a kind heart and such a good personality people would say he was an idiot at times, lol but he was a good one. Anyway i found out that he caused self-harm and tragically passed away which i couldn't believe at the time he was only a couple years older than me...

I'm now attending some "counselling" which hasn't helped me alot tbh.. but i know i have to change and i believe i am gradually, basically that's why i'm on here because i need to change and i want to make a difference to other peoples lives, i got my mum diagnosed with a mental illness a year ago one of the best things i ever did as she is better now as shes on tablets. It was extremely difficult at first to convince her she kept saying stuff like "they will take me away and put me in a mental hospital and you will never see me again, i heard on the radio someone took these tablets and they had a heart attack" etc...she still believes shes normal to this day but hey.. atleast shes on tablets now and is much better and calmer ( no more banging doors etc, yay!) I still find it very difficult to meet new people irl i use to seriously struggle with eye contact( i still do) but it is becoming a little easier now i think. i will check and check and check myself again and again to make sure i look okay before i go out then of course when i get to the front door i stand there for minutes thinking to myself should i go out and face the music? half the time i end up being late because of it, lol i know it sounds stupid. :club: I have been convinced i have had cancer for the past 4 years now i'm talking about testicular cancer here, idk i just keep recieveing pain and also ever since i fell down the stairs just over a year ago my back has never been the same since. ( I'm actually a very safe person, not clumsy at all i was just extremely depressed at that time) I went to the doctors about it recently after leaving it a year he said the pains are down to anxiety.. i don't see how it is tbh, i mean i agree i get very depressed sometimes but i just can't see how the pains are down to anxiety.

SORRY for the long post.. ever since my dad died i have always wanted to be that person who truly cares for others and help others in desperate need. This is why one day i'd like to work in the security industry and for the police, maybe even volunteer as a coastguard on the rnli crews if i secure a fairly well paid job and i'm sure with a little push and courage i will do it. I'm hoping to work in a charity shop in the next month or so.

But no seriously i have come on here to actually get to know other people and make new freinds, not to constantly just talk about my problems and not listen to others, quite the contrary.

I wasn't sure to post this or not..as i never do stuff like this really, like i said i am very shy in real life hope it makes sense, also sorry for the long life story...

Hi Happy hour and a warm welcome from me to the forum.

I'm so sorry and sadden to read about all the challenges and problems that you have had to face, especially at a young age.

I have in the past and still currently face to a degree, some of the aforementioned areas such as shyness etc. I, like you, consider myself deepdown, to have a good heart and want to help people but currently, I fail at certain obstacles and hurdles, or I will shy away from people after having a 'bad day' still to this very day.

Most people here, including myself realise its not easy nor I there any 'quick fix solution' to all you face. my advice is to keep coming here and feeling free to express yourself to the best of your ability.

It's always ok tov vent ad talk about what is troubling you. The best part of us here at this forum is that we understand and we have time for you. There is no need to shy away from people who understand you. I have learnt this. :)

Hope you will feel at home here, and we encourage you to 'keep it coming' and also to 'be yourself'

Retro :)
 
Hi retro never is a "quick fix solution" definitely agree with you here. I agree many others have had a very harsh and horrid time as everyone always has some sort of a past no matter how big or small. But i just felt like i had to talk to express my feelings and talk to other people as the environment i live in isn't particluary a nice modern flat and does get me down sometimes but hey loads of people are worse off than me. I'm happy i managed to paint my walls up now despite the back pain which is something and i will have to push and push and just work really hard for what i want i know this and i plan on doing so. Just gotta wait until i see the doctor and hopefully have some scans done.


I'd like to thank everyone for the positive replys but must be off now as it's nearly midnight, cya people!
 
Hi happyhour, welcome to the forum. Im sure youll like it here, I signed up a couple of days ago and I like it alot! Theres alot of nice people here, and they offer good advice and overall its just a breath of fresh air. :) What you did for your mother is such a good thing! theres some people that will just suffer and nobody will take the time to understand how theyre feeling, so im glad that your mother is doing better, and glad for you that your living situation is better too. i hope youll achieve all your goals soon, you sound like a person with a good heart. :)
 
I hope so as well but i can't kick myself for it 24/7 if it turns out not to be then that's just the way it is. Waiting for monday now basically.
 
There is so much written in your post that I can somewhat relate to. From the father's passing to losing friendships (well I closed off from all of them) and the inability to talk to siblings about these sort of things. Yeap. Sorry you had to go through all that though. :(

I really do think you should get the pains checked out - trust me, better sooner rather than later. Okay?
 
I plan on doing so tomorrow hopefully they wont be fully booked as they were on the friday. It's quite frustrating as well as they say i can't book an appointment in advance only on the same day at aprox 8:00am - 8:30am ..lol of course by 8:10am all the appointments are gone. This thread can be depressing to read at times, i plan on being much more active on the forums in the near future it's just that i'm worrying alot atm, you know how it is. Also i don't think i would be comfortable talking to someone 1 on 1 via pm at the present time.
 

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