Keeping her attention while dealing with other guys

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JoharS

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Hey everyone,

I signed up at your forum because I need some help. I do hope I am at the right place.
The thing is that I go to bars from time to time. At some times there is a woman I see that I like.

If I finaly have the guts to step up to her I do have fun and all, but the thing is that I get some competition then. Some other guys who like to show off just interupts me and takes all the attention of her. This happens like half of the time.

Is it something I should allow and just walk away? How do you guys deal with it?
And do you woman like it when a more muscular man starts talking to you?
 
I think it depends if that woman likes more muscular men or not. Personally when someone starts talking to me, I wouldn't be rude to ignore them, even if I'm with my man. But if he is starting to really butt in our time and is obviously trying to just get my attention.. then I find that a bit rude, so no I wouldn't like it and probably leave.
 
Even in nature, most male animals compete for the attention of the female, so what happens to you it's quite natural i'd say. Not really much you can do about it, other than being more attractive and interesting to the woman's eye than the other guy.
 
This is why you should try bringing a friend along. It's a lot harder to ignore two people compared to just one. :D
 
Revengineer said:
This is why you should try bringing a friend along. It's a lot harder to ignore two people compared to just one. :D

Good idea, kinda takes the pressure off yourself to keep up conversation too. Also I think these jealous guys are less likely to come over and start acting like mega-men.
 
Seeker said:
Even in nature, most male animals compete for the attention of the female, so what happens to you it's quite natural i'd say. Not really much you can do about it, other than being more attractive and interesting to the woman's eye than the other guy.

What if you can't do that, though?
 
You could act like you have some self-worth and walk away from the situation if she's chosen to ignore you.
 
I would find it rude if someone inserted himself between me and the person I was talking to, no matter what he looked like.

But I don't really do the bar scene.
 
I never really know what to do when I'm talking to a girl at a bar and I get some competition either. The only time I successfully handled it was when I was talking to a girl one night. Me, her and her friend were dancing together and suddenly this other guy is talking to her, I'm not sure where he even came from. I made a split second decision to start flirting with her friend and make sure she saw it. Within a few minutes, I was making out with the friend and she definitely saw this. Pretty soon the guy left and her attention was straight back on me (and she was FAR more interested than she was previously). I was able to get a makeout within a few minutes.

Not saying this is the only way to deal with other guys or the best way, but with a bit of luck it can turn a bad situation into a very good situation. Otherwise, you could just briefly acknowledge the guy then keep talking to the girl and ignore the guy. I've never tried that successfully but I've seen other guys do it.
 
Batman55 said:
Seeker said:
Even in nature, most male animals compete for the attention of the female, so what happens to you it's quite natural i'd say. Not really much you can do about it, other than being more attractive and interesting to the woman's eye than the other guy.

What if you can't do that, though?

If you show her your best character and she doesn't appreciate it, why would you even want to be with her in the first place?
 
If it was me; I'd chose to walk away. That's one thing that seems to bug me but overtime I realized if their not interested in talking to me than why should I waste my breathe? Find someone else who digs you more! =)
 
If she seems more interested in more muscular men... She's not worth it I guess :p. I never really see more muscular men as "competition". I'm a quite thin guy, I work out a little just to keep in shape (not get fat), loads of people are more muscular than me. I had/have a problem with thinking I'm ugly or not having an attractive body, but I do know I'm a way better and more intelligent person than most people in a club (anyone who would deliberately "compete" with another guy is usually an idiot anyway, in my opinion). The thing is that you should start believing in yourself; having less muscles doesn't mean you're less attractive AT ALL.

Just ask yourself the question, what would you rather have; a nice girl who looks fine, or a horrible girl who looks like a pornstar? I'd definitely choose the first one, and it's a fact that women care less about looks than guys. Being self confident is the most important thing to look good; I actually had a colleague at a summerjob once who looked aweful but was so confident he could get any girl he wanted. Just know being nice and intelligent is usually way more attractive than looking like someone who's clearly overcompensating (with muscles).
 
I've had this happen and it lessens my faith in mankind, but I'm not going to behave like a baboon during mating season. I'd let her go-- no one is worth compromising your intelligence over.
 
aspalas said:
Just ask yourself the question, what would you rather have; a nice girl who looks fine, or a horrible girl who looks like a pornstar?

Does it have to be an either or scenario? Can't I have a nice pornstar?
 

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