boy likes girl

Hey!, so there is this girl which I like and just recently, I would say a month ago I got enough courage to actually talk to her while waiting for a class we take together to start. Now a days we say hello to one another and usually talk before that class, but that happens cause most of the time we are the only ones there waiting lol. I asked for her facebook like 2 weeks ago so now we are friends there as well..

To cut to the chase I want to ask her out, now do I do it before the class where we always meet up or on facebook?, truth be told I have never asked a girl out in real life, just asking for her facebook seemed awkward..She also doesn't seem really interested in me which I want to change by going on a date with her or being Alpha as f**k lol..

Since i'm inexperienced what do you guys think I should say to ask her out? and also if she rejects me how do we maintain a friendship without it being awkward? cause I mean i basically see her every day so avoiding her if that happens is almost impossible..

don't over think it or you will end up doing nothing.

Just ask her to go and do something with you. (If you haven't got the courage, just write her a message on facebook)

Just ask her on a casual date without coming off all serious. Like, "Hey, want to grab some coffee after class?". This way you can get to know each other a little better without too much pressure, and if she says no, it really isn't that bad because it was just coffee.

Or you can ask her to do something you know she'll enjoy. If she's into art, ask her to go to a art gallery, or a concert if a band is coming that she likes.

I'd ask her in person and not on Facebook, but whatever works for you I guess. Make sure you show some interest when asking, but don't be too serious either. You don't want her to think it's a friend-date or that you're deeply in love with her. Just be cool man, you can do this!

wow thanks for the quick replies,advices and encouragement..I'm agreeing with you Locke on the facebook matter, cause there she may ignore, not even see the message or respond making things awkward first moment I see her..Even though irl it's harder she has to answer me and I suppose it shows her I got the courage to do that..so I am decided that is the route i'm taking, first time for everything haha..but coffee after class doesnt work since we both got stuff to do after, is a movie on the weekend a bad place for a first date? some people say it is, I know she likes dancing, but I don't even know how to dance haha...

And i'll try to be casual and chill..try being the key word

A movie might be okay. You won't be able to talk much though, and there's always a chance the movie will suck and she'll have a bad time. Dinner and a movie is better. I'm not sure where else you could go. Any chance you can learn to dance within a few days? If she likes you enough to say yes, where you go won't be that important as long as it's something she wants to do.

I was thinking the same thing about Facebook. You see her almost every day, so if you ask on Facebook she might assume that you were too nervous. It also comes off as kind of impersonal. Plus all of those other things you mentioned that might go wrong.

So you say you're both in the same class together? Easiest thing ever. Just ask her if she wants to study together.

This is a legit question - I actually don't know; Is "alpha" just how jerks refer to themselves or are there alphas that aren't arrogant, heartless human beings?

Playing the arrogant, cocky, "tough guy" card might work out for you on this one, if you can be convincing with it

No guarantees, though.

murmi97 said:

This is a legit question - I actually don't know; Is "alpha" just how jerks refer to themselves or are there alphas that aren't arrogant, heartless human beings?

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haha by alpha i mean being confident in myself and having the courage to ask the girl out, at least that what it means to me..

Revengineer- that is a pretty good idea!, especially since I don't get the actual material..so she may help me..

Locke- yeah that's the problem with the movies, not much talking, though it's one of the simplest things to ask her out too imo. I don't think I can learn to dance that fast haha..I could probably just invite her to a local social activity it has music, food the works and they do this every weekend, though i have to admit I have never even gone to this weekend activity since i'm not really a social person..but it may be the best option..and ditto on what you said about facebook

The less you think about it and the sooner you actually do something the better, it will save you some serious brainstorming and will answer your "what if" question.

Locke said:

A movie might be okay. You won't be able to talk much though, and there's always a chance the movie will suck and she'll have a bad time. Dinner and a movie is better. I'm not sure where else you could go. Any chance you can learn to dance within a few days? If she likes you enough to say yes, where you go won't be that important as long as it's something she wants to do.

I was thinking the same thing about Facebook. You see her almost every day, so if you ask on Facebook she might assume that you were too nervous. It also comes off as kind of impersonal. Plus all of those other things you mentioned that might go wrong.

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facebook is the cowards way out I agree.
But it worked for me once but then again it was someone who I didn't see on a regular basis.

I wouldn't ask her on facebook. Ask her in person. Rather than directly asking her if she wants to go out, make it fun. Tease her about something and then when she says something silly or teases you back then you turn it around and say she owes you a drink or something. For example, you tease her about something then she teases you back and you say 'wow that was really rude, I'm going to go home and cry' (in a playful way), she says 'aww, I'm sorry!' then you say 'well I'll let you make it up to me...you can buy me a coffee from ..... on Friday afternoon.'

Because you're making it fun, rather than possibly putting her on the spot by asking directly, she'll probably be more likely to say yes. Plus she'll see you're a fun guy and her attraction for you will probably increase. Get her number and schedule the date as soon as possible before she has a change of heart.

Triple Bogey said:

facebook is the cowards way out I agree.
But it worked for me once but then again it was someone who I didn't see on a regular basis.

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I wouldn't say it's cowardly, just that she might think so, and it seems pointless when you see someone everyday. But I've never asked a girl out on Facebook, so I donno.

Locke said:

Triple Bogey said:

facebook is the cowards way out I agree.
But it worked for me once but then again it was someone who I didn't see on a regular basis.

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I wouldn't say it's cowardly, just that she might think so, and it seems pointless when you see someone everyday. But I've never asked a girl out on Facebook, so I donno.

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I got my first date in 15 years doing that. Just a little message on facebook asking her for a coffee. It wasn't somebody I would see everyday so I guess it made sense. I have done it since and got ignored. It's a lot less stressful than a face to face. And you don't always get the opportunity.

Even though Facebook may seem as a secure/comfort zone for someone like me that has never actually asked a girl out irl, truth is the cons outweigh the pros when comparing asking through FB and doing it in person since the only pros of FB is that it avoids awkwardness but only temporarily since I have to see her again and as i said it is a more comfort zone for me.

While asking her in person shows her I have confidence and she pretty much has to give me an answer and doesn't have the option of ignoring me like in FB..

Anyways tomorrow is the day, if the chance comes up i'm going for it..will inform you guys how it went..again thanks for all the advices and encouragement..

The internet works for some, and doesn't work for others.

Just do what you feel is best for you, and that's all you can do.

So.....?

I guess the best way to approach this is just acting relaxed, asking if she wants to hang out some time (you don't necessarily have to ask her "out" on a date or something, this is way harder than just asking if she want's to hang out some time). Or take revengineer's advice... Not making it awkward is up to you both I guess. Just act like you always act, don't show you're hurt or anything. This might sound weird, but that's what makes this awkward.

So i'm updating on all that happened since I made this thread..to start off, It didn't work out with the girl I liked. The day finally came and I was ready to ask her out. As always we met in the hallway to wait for class, but that day when I started talking to her she seemed annoyed with me and more interested in her phone, all of a sudden she said be right back and didn't come back till class started so I never got the chance and got real discouraged with her attitude towards me like I wasn't worthy to be with her, not only that she NEVER asked anything about me, I always started the convo and it was always talking about her...Anyways the next few days she did the same thing and other days she didn't even appear till class started..So I got bummed out and angry..asking why do girls do this to me? I gave up on her completely, just got tired of that honeysuckle..

The next week still bummed I bumped into another girl by pure chance who needed some class material, I gladly let her borrow my book and sent her all the info she had missed from class...After this she suggested we should study together for the exam, I said ok and we set a date to meet up and study..Boy was I happy, I started thinking that the first girl didn't work out cause this new girl was the one. Well the day came when we were suppose to meet up and study, I came out of my class a lil early and decided to wait till it was time to call her up so we could meet up. Well as I was waiting she appeared and said hi, but seemed in a hurry didn't even mention the study plans and kept on going, I was confused so i followed her and asked her weren't we suppose to study today? and she said oh yeah but first I need to do something, I understood and let her do whatever she was doing..well a while passed and I called her to see if she was done, she said yeah but to give her a second and she would call me back, I said ok. 25 minutes of waiting and wasting time, I texted her saying I'm gonna go it appears you are to busy to study. She never replied back apologizing or anything..I was furious and felt humiliated and used, cause that is what she did use me..after she had all the info which I wasted my time giving to her, she dumps me off like trash, not only that SHE was the one that suggested studying together only to do that.

After getting over this I felt desperate and added a girl I found attractive on FB, surprisingly she accepted and since we went to the same college I suggested meeting up a couple of times but to no avail. That is till one day; you see she is part of a club or some honeysuckle and it was having a fundraising and i messaged her saying we could meet up there and I could donate to her club in the process, she finally responded saying yes we could do that..I was psyched, day comes I go to the shitty fundraising contribute and she isn't there..Christ..I said to myself well I contributed I will message her saying I helped her club, but didn't see her, to show her I keep my promises, didn't respond and never again responded to any message I sent..again I was just used..all this was a couple of weeks ago.

Now the 2 most recent events currently happening...Current event #1 I again in my desperation decided to go back to the girl that has always had my attention for years and I tried to make something happen..Since I don't see her often I used chat and started flirting, really not expecting much, but she was really flattered and real responsive to my flirt attempts. We had a nice long convo, while I kept on flirting there was even a point where I said i would love to have her and she said that it could happen and the future will tell..I couldn't believe she had said that, It was like there was hope, she didn't shut me down, I was so happy I was shaking. This girl is like the #1 in my list haha..but still I knew in the back of my mind that great convo would never happen again for some reason. Just today I flirted with her and got minimal responses this in part cause im running out of material, but the important thing I believe is that she knows how amazing she seems to me and I think she understands...So this here is a work in progress haven't given up on this one still haha..

Current event #2 I check my phone and lo and behold the girl that left me hanging after saying we should study together text me asking for help again!..I ignored the text for hours, but finally I said show her how a real gentleman acts and ended up helping her after all she did cause i'm a saint lol jk..she was real grateful and nice and again suggested studying together, I said yeah maybe and left...But tell you the truth I did this cause I might actually need help doing this lol and this favor I did to her was huge and she knows it so i'm sure she will respond when I call her, If not I will really let her have it cause she def owes me..Who knows she may be falling for me by see how much of a gentleman I am haha..and ok I admit she is pretty hot so it was hard to ignore her hehe.

Anyways that is all that has happened..phew!...I need sugestions on what to do with current event #1..In #1 what else can I do to get her attention and keep things fresh? should I tell her I like her? In #2 I will text her if I need help and if she doesnt answer i'm gonna destroy her! lol jk..anyways thanks for reading! looking forward to your advices!..

Hey man, that's awesome that you're making a good attempt with these girls, keep it up! Don't get down on yourself that things may not have gone exactly as you want yet, remember there are no failures when it comes to this. There are only learning experiences and the more learning experiences you have, the faster you get better at it.

It sounds like you're doing exactly what it takes to get in the friendzone. I've definitely made this mistake before as well. If you want anything more than a friendship with these girls, you probably need to make your intentions clearer. It sounds like you have sort of started doing that with #1, now you should move things forward.

I think one of the most important things when you're first getting to know a girl is to demonstrate you are a fun and confident guy. It's pretty hard to do this when you're just studying together. Before you study with #2 again, you should invite her to do something fun with you. Maybe if you and your friends are going out one night, tell her to come. Don't just ask her if she wants to come, just tell her to come. This displays way more confidence and girls love that. Then you have a much better opportunity to show her you are a fun guy and also show your intent.