This kinda lonely

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Wannabe poet

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I've always tried to come to terms with how lonely iam but somehow I can't ever get used to it. I feel like part of my life is accepting that something's will be what they are and all I can do is try to cope with that. I still feel lonely though, especially around people. The worst part of all this is I know that it probably won't change and chances are I'm never gonna be truly happy.

I guess it is what it is, I gotta learn to accept the fact that not everything is in my hands and not everyone can have a happy ending.
 
I keep trying to believe it's like the lotto , just keep hoping it will happen and one day lightning just might strike, and until then we endure.

My biggest hurdle right now is my viceral reaction to all the people that think the mind is like the old "just do it" Nike commercials. Just be happy , just stop being negative , when I turn it on their insecurities I'm the asshat but when they do it they're helpful.
 
I agree that finding that right person is kind of like the lotto. But to just hope it will happen randomly one day is the wrong mentality. I know, because it was mine for years. I know it doesn't work. I know you have to put yourself out there. Whether it be for friends, or significant others. To keep the analogy going, meeting people is definitely a lottery. But you have direct control over how many lottery tickets you get.

The truth is you can definitely feel lonely in a crowd. Not feeling lonely isn't about being surrounded by lots of people. It's about being surrounded by the right people. That can often just be that one right person.
 
The thing I came to realize is that even the most "happy" people can feel lonely sometimes, you would be surprised of how many people actually suffer from loneliness nowadays. It's like it doesn't matter if you have friends, family or a spouse anymore. When loneliness strikes, it doesn't discriminate. Besides, let's not forget that loneliness isn't a physical state, it ultimately is all in our heads. That's why some introverts can feel at company with themselves alone while some others feel lonely even when being among people.
 
lostatsea said:
The truth is you can definitely feel lonely in a crowd. Not feeling lonely isn't about being surrounded by lots of people. It's about being surrounded by the right people. That can often just be that one right person.

This. I went to Howl-o-scream at Busch Gardens a few years ago with a friend and her large group of friends, and it was one of the loneliest times out I've ever experienced. You really realize how much you don't "fit in", and how difficult it is to make good friends.

It especially sucks when the person you're supposed to be having a good time with gets hit on and ends up abandoning you. >.>
 
Pike Queen said:
lostatsea said:
The truth is you can definitely feel lonely in a crowd. Not feeling lonely isn't about being surrounded by lots of people. It's about being surrounded by the right people. That can often just be that one right person.

This. I went to Howl-o-scream at Busch Gardens a few years ago with a friend and her large group of friends, and it was one of the loneliest times out I've ever experienced. You really realize how much you don't "fit in", and how difficult it is to make good friends.

It especially sucks when the person you're supposed to be having a good time with gets hit on and ends up abandoning you. >.>

that reminds me of when I got nagged into going to nightclubs years ago. The person doing the nagging would bugger off with somebody else after 5 minutes and I would be stood there by myself.
 
Wannabe poet said:
I've always tried to come to terms with how lonely iam but somehow I can't ever get used to it. I feel like part of my life is accepting that something's will be what they are and all I can do is try to cope with that. I still feel lonely though, especially around people. The worst part of all this is I know that it probably won't change and chances are I'm never gonna be truly happy.

I guess it is what it is, I gotta learn to accept the fact that not everything is in my hands and not everyone can have a happy ending.

These are also my thoughts and a short description of how my life is, i'm in your shoes too, but i know that telling you this won't help you at all. In my personal case, having a job and having hobbies distracts me from my loneliness and pains, but works only temporal, anyway i try every single day, since i don't have much of a choice, neither professional help, nor friends to stand by me. So, keeping me and my mind veeery very busy is my only ticket to survive one day at a time. I completely understand you, and believe me you're not alone in this club ;o)
 
Sure, sitting at home by yourself isn't going to change a thing about your loneliness, but in most cases, neither will going out and being around people. I hate that pseudo-advice, "well, just go out and do stuff with others", but come on.... every single I've done that, it didn't change a **** thing. I always came home feeling even worse than before because deep inside I had hoped I would actually meet someone. It just doesn't happen like that. Right now I'm in the car headed home after spending the afternoon in town with an old friend... It was nice, but I feel horribly miserable right now. It chokes me up and I find it hard to breathe. I get so **** lonely sometimes and I wish I could just meet someone that is meant for me :'(
 
daughter of the moon said:
Sure, sitting at home by yourself isn't going to change a thing about your loneliness, but in most cases, neither will going out and being around people. I hate that pseudo-advice, "well, just go out and do stuff with others", but come on.... every single I've done that, it didn't change a **** thing. I always came home feeling even worse than before because deep inside I had hoped I would actually meet someone. It just doesn't happen like that. Right now I'm in the car headed home after spending the afternoon in town with an old friend... It was nice, but I feel horribly miserable right now. It chokes me up and I find it hard to breathe. I get so **** lonely sometimes and I wish I could just meet someone that is meant for me :'(

You get your first +1 from me, daughter, the moments i feel lonely the most is after meeting with friends on my way back home, don't even know why it happens.
 
Why, thank you :) I'm so new to this forum that I don't know what a +1 means, but I'm sure it's a good thing. lol

I get so sad and fed up sometimes, you know? I don't know how many times one can pray to G*d or cry out to the universe... I'm 31 and I can't even picture myself keeping going like this for several more decades. I've already felt like this ten years ago and so many things have happened in the meantime, but not a **** thing ever changes. Do you believe (this goes to everyone reading this) that some people really are destined to be alone their entire life?
 
daughter of the moon said:
Why, thank you :) I'm so new to this forum that I don't know what a +1 means, but I'm sure it's a good thing. lol

I get so sad and fed up sometimes, you know? I don't know how many times one can pray to G*d or cry out to the universe... I'm 31 and I can't even picture myself keeping going like this for several more decades. I've already felt like this ten years ago and so many things have happened in the meantime, but not a **** thing ever changes. Do you believe (this goes to everyone reading this) that some people really are destined to be alone their entire life?

+1 is a reputation point, a kind of appreciation people give each other here for posts they liked. If you notice your reputation, it is now 1, instead of 0.

As for your question, I wouldn't really know, for the last 10 years i've been alternating between loneliness, friendship, relationships, etc, but the loneliness always comes back at times. Guess I see it as a recurring visitor who overextends his stay sometimes and comes and goes as he pleases.
 
Seeker said:
+1 is a reputation point, a kind of appreciation people give each other here for posts they liked. If you notice your reputation, it is now 1, instead of 0.

As for your question, I wouldn't really know, for the last 10 years i've been alternating between loneliness, friendship, relationships, etc, but the loneliness always comes back at times. Guess I see it as a recurring visitor who overextends his stay sometimes and comes and goes as he pleases.


Ah yes, my bio of the last ten years reads pretty much the same, but the two relationships I've had were incredibly crappy, so I can't help but wonder whether I'm meant to find happiness in that regard at all. (I don't think so)

But anyway, thanks for clarifying the whole reputation thing ;)

Have a terrific evening, wherever you are.
 
daughter of the moon said:
Seeker said:
+1 is a reputation point, a kind of appreciation people give each other here for posts they liked. If you notice your reputation, it is now 1, instead of 0.

As for your question, I wouldn't really know, for the last 10 years i've been alternating between loneliness, friendship, relationships, etc, but the loneliness always comes back at times. Guess I see it as a recurring visitor who overextends his stay sometimes and comes and goes as he pleases.


Ah yes, my bio of the last ten years reads pretty much the same, but the two relationships I've had were incredibly crappy, so I can't help but wonder whether I'm meant to find happiness in that regard at all. (I don't think so)

But anyway, thanks for clarifying the whole reputation thing ;)

Have a terrific evening, wherever you are.

My relationships were mixed, some crappy some wonderful lol.

Have a good evening too! :)
 
Pike Queen said:
lostatsea said:
The truth is you can definitely feel lonely in a crowd. Not feeling lonely isn't about being surrounded by lots of people. It's about being surrounded by the right people. That can often just be that one right person.

This. I went to Howl-o-scream at Busch Gardens a few years ago with a friend and her large group of friends, and it was one of the loneliest times out I've ever experienced. You really realize how much you don't "fit in", and how difficult it is to make good friends.

^ Yeah. :(
 

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