Why are people so mean and disrespectful?

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

randomdude

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 29, 2012
Messages
111
Reaction score
0
If you fail they will make sure they discourage you for future attempts at that something, if you succeed at something they say it's nothing special or everyone can do that or try to make you sad. Why is it so hard for people to say "Hey good job" or just say "nice" or anything. It's not that i am depending on their opinions but why do people choose to be negative towards yours accomplishments and other things rather than say something positively about it. While growing up i noticed that negative, disrespectful and mean people far more socially accepted.. I am not talking only about teenage people I've seen this happening even in people who are past 30 years old and even past 60's. I also know that they do it so they can feel better BUT can people just feel good when they see other people being successful?
 
We live in a constantly competitive world, where people learn from a young age (school, through grades) to always want to be better than their fellow man. As such, people will do anything to boost their sence of self-worth, which is why they laugh at other peoples failures and undermine their success.
 
I have often struggled with this issue as well. With some people, you feel that it would kill them to pay someone a compliment or to say something positive to someone. They only seem happy when others mess up and fail. I agree with Seeker-they do it to boost their own sense of self worth. They feel so bad about themselves that if someone else succeeds at something, they can't handle it.
 
Adding to Seeker's response as it is a major part of it .

There is also human nature response to allow others to suffer as they did. (example parents-kids chores or worse the tendency to watch others get scammed so they can believe they are not alone)

There is also societal manipulated by THEM (illuminati , powers that be , fatcats , the News , whatever you wish to call them) and the current method du jour is to vilify everything to keep the populous scared , and scared people tend to lash out far more often than thinking first.

Then there is the social click mentality to point out all that doesn't fit in their circle in an attempt to strengthen ones place within the click
 
I think someone should tell you guys, you are people too, and for me, you are they also.
 
Because being rude, disrespectful and mean spirited makes them feel good as twisted as that sounds. They get off on it because they are basically insecure and need to find ways to feed their egos and that's an easy way for them to do it.

Personally I prefer people who are a little edgy but not total douchebags. People who are too nice are usually either two faced, want something or are just generally insincere or fake. Not always but that's been my experience. However, most people don't know how to be in the middle so are either too nice or too mean. Think of it this way. You want to be around people who are assertive but not passive or aggressive or even worse passive aggressive.
 
It makes them feel bigger, or more powerful than the ones they are stepping on. It's bullying; even offhandedly or if they don't mean to be. A lot of people I know do it subconsciously, so they have no idea that they are actually being jerks.

My family does this actually. I still suffer from what I had to deal with, and at least now I can tell them to piss off (living on my own now lol).
"Well, not sure how you are going to do anything since YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR DRIVERS. -insert "friendly joking" laugh-"
"Are you sure you're ready? I mean you can't even keep your house organized. -insert another "friendly joking" laugh-"
"80% in math? Why aren't you getting 95%?" Aaaaand so on. The only positive comments I got, were from someone now deceased. :(

I never got encouragement, and that really did do a number on my self esteem as a kid and as a teenager. Now? Now I've just had enough and either tell them off or say "just watch me" whenever they say "you can't!" For some things I preferred seeing the look of stupid foolishness on their faces when I DID prove them wrong.
 
Senamian said:
It makes them feel bigger, or more powerful than the ones they are stepping on. It's bullying; even offhandedly or if they don't mean to be. A lot of people I know do it subconsciously, so they have no idea that they are actually being jerks.

My family does this actually. I still suffer from what I had to deal with, and at least now I can tell them to piss off (living on my own now lol).
"Well, not sure how you are going to do anything since YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR DRIVERS. -insert "friendly joking" laugh-"
"Are you sure you're ready? I mean you can't even keep your house organized. -insert another "friendly joking" laugh-"
"80% in math? Why aren't you getting 95%?" Aaaaand so on. The only positive comments I got, were from someone now deceased. :(

I never got encouragement, and that really did do a number on my self esteem as a kid and as a teenager. Now? Now I've just had enough and either tell them off or say "just watch me" whenever they say "you can't!" For some things I preferred seeing the look of stupid foolishness on their faces when I DID prove them wrong.

I agree with what you said. And I'll add more to it. :)

People are who mean will go looking for people who are weaker on them. They'll look out until they find their prey, once they find them they'll get others to join in on the joke too and pretty soon you have a swarm of people all laughing. It's very cruel indeed and horrible. But honestly deep down people like that hate their own life and go looking for someone weaker than them so they feel powerful and more in control. They're the ones who actually need help in my opinion, cause they don't understand what their doing is wrong. And once they face the consequences they act as if it's normal. It's a sad world we live in sometimes.

You should be grateful that you're not like them. You're a better person than them. Cause you don't stoop down to their level.
 
If you are in a situation where someone is being mean or disrespectful to you you basically have three options. The first is you can do nothing. In this situation you just ignore them. Sometimes this is the right thing to do depending on how well you know the person and how much of a jerk the person is being. The second thing you can do is be assertive and stand up for yourself without reacting and getting upset. In this situation you basically tell the person that their behavior is inappropriate, unnecessary, uncalled for or very much unwelcome. Any of these should do the trick if the person has any kind of decency whatsoever. The third and probably worst thing you can do is to get angry with them and resort to name calling or raising your voice or whatever. This is the reaction that most people expect if not want. If you don't do this you confuse them and they don't know how to handle it. If you do find yourself doing this however, you wind up playing right into their hands and the situation escalates. If you tell the person to grow up they might just say "I don't want to why don't you." Sometimes you just can't win with these people. Another option and possibly a fourth one and the one I sometimes use when necessary is to just laugh along. Just laugh at them and play along. Show them you don't have thin skin and that they can't get to you. I did this not too long ago. There was a big muscle guy at my gym(ironically enough it was Planet Fitness which is suppose to be the "judgement free zone" and this guy was sort of making fun of me for being on the stationary bicycle. I just gave him a smile and laughed along. I know from personal experience that the more you retaliate the more these people will keep at it and keep picking on you. That's just the way it is.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top