Why do I feel lonely?

I pretty much have what you would call an average life. I go to a pretty good university, that I do pretty well in. I have a lot of friends, some of them close enough that I know most things about their lives (and vice versa). I socialize often, and attend social events regularly, although I'm a bit shy. I'm not in a relationship but don't feel like I want to pursue one currently.

But somehow, I feel lonely fairly often, usually more so after getting back from very social settings. I feel like there is something missing in my life and that hole is making me feel miserable and lonely. I think about my life and I know I should feel very grateful for what I have, that there are people out there who would love to have my life over theirs.. so I feel really bad for wanting this thing that I'm missing. I have no idea what it is.

I've been feeling this way for at least the last two years of my life. Has anyone else felt this way? Have you found the "thing" you were missing? Can anyone help me understand why I feel lonely, and if I am indeed missing something in my life?

Thanks for spending a minute of your life reading what I have to say. Feel free to ask any questions, but I don't feel comfortable giving out my exact location or identity .

Hey, man, i can't tell you how i much i relate to this. Actually, I have answered a similar question in another post, so i'm just gonna quote that to you.

"The thing I came to realize is that even the most "happy" people can feel lonely sometimes, you would be surprised of how many people actually suffer from loneliness nowadays. It's like it doesn't matter if you have friends, family or a spouse anymore. When loneliness strikes, it doesn't discriminate. Besides, let's not forget that loneliness isn't a physical state, it ultimately is all in our heads. That's why some introverts can feel at company with themselves alone while some others feel lonely even when being among people."

People are unsatisfied by their nature, we will always want something more. Even when we feel content, it doesn't last long. I don't know if I helped but just know you are definitely not alone.

Hey

Have I ever felt like something was missing from my life without knowing what it was? G*d yes, every single day of my life It's killing me.

Seeker said:

Hey, man, i can't tell you how i much i relate to this. Actually, I have answered a similar question in another post, so i'm just gonna quote that to you.

"The thing I came to realize is that even the most "happy" people can feel lonely sometimes, you would be surprised of how many people actually suffer from loneliness nowadays. It's like it doesn't matter if you have friends, family or a spouse anymore. When loneliness strikes, it doesn't discriminate. Besides, let's not forget that loneliness isn't a physical state, it ultimately is all in our heads. That's why some introverts can feel at company with themselves alone while some others feel lonely even when being among people."

People are unsatisfied by their nature, we will always want something more. Even when we feel content, it doesn't last long. I don't know if I helped but just know you are definitely not alone.

Click to expand...

I have to agree with most of what you said, but I always feel content. Even when I'm lonely, I am content knowing that my life isn't that bad when I think about it. However, I haven't felt "happy" for a long, long time now. I always try to think about myself happy tomorrow, few months from now, and even years down my life, but I can't think of an image. I thought about the perfect life I imagine, the happiest I can be, and I can't think of anything. I have talked to my friends about this, and they all seem to have an idea of what makes them happy, but I am clueless.

I just wish I knew what I really wanted.

You mention a time table therefor I must ask. Anything happen 2 years ago ?

Did you start college ? If so the very nature of it and trying to figure out your future path can set about mental insecurities.
I only asked that one as timing might synch. I don't want to type out the other possibilities as they might come off wrong or offend as they would be speculatory.

StarvingZombie said:

You mention a time table therefor I must ask. Anything happen 2 years ago ?

Did you start college ? If so the very nature of it and trying to figure out your future path can set about mental insecurities.
I only asked that one as timing might synch. I don't want to type out the other possibilities as they might come off wrong or offend as they would be speculatory.

Click to expand...

No, that was about a year after I started college. I suppose I was too busy during the first year to feel much of anything, although I must say that it freshman year was my least favorite year here due to some family issues. I don't think it has anything to do with that though, since my family has been ridden with issues since I was little.

I said:

StarvingZombie said:

You mention a time table therefor I must ask. Anything happen 2 years ago ?

Did you start college ? If so the very nature of it and trying to figure out your future path can set about mental insecurities.
I only asked that one as timing might synch. I don't want to type out the other possibilities as they might come off wrong or offend as they would be speculatory.

Click to expand...

No, that was about a year after I started college. I suppose I was too busy during the first year to feel much of anything, although I must say that it freshman year was my least favorite year here due to some family issues. I don't think it has anything to do with that though, since my family has been ridden with issues since I was little.

Click to expand...

You may not think it does on the surface, but being away from the family and having things occur that you are then powerless over can start the fracturing process.

I went through this when I was in the military, I might have even gone awol over 1 of these problems if it weren't for the fact I was a few continents away.
You can start looking at the daily interactions as trite , due to the fact your mind wishes to be somewhere else. These thoughts can build even when they aren't in the forefront of your mind.

StarvingZombie said:

I said:

StarvingZombie said:

You mention a time table therefor I must ask. Anything happen 2 years ago ?

Did you start college ? If so the very nature of it and trying to figure out your future path can set about mental insecurities.
I only asked that one as timing might synch. I don't want to type out the other possibilities as they might come off wrong or offend as they would be speculatory.

Click to expand...

No, that was about a year after I started college. I suppose I was too busy during the first year to feel much of anything, although I must say that it freshman year was my least favorite year here due to some family issues. I don't think it has anything to do with that though, since my family has been ridden with issues since I was little.

Click to expand...

You may not think it does on the surface, but being away from the family and having things occur that you are then powerless over can start the fracturing process.

I went through this when I was in the military, I might have even gone awol over 1 of these problems if it weren't for the fact I was a few continents away.
You can start looking at the daily interactions as trite , due to the fact your mind wishes to be somewhere else. These thoughts can build even when they aren't in the forefront of your mind.

Click to expand...

I dread the days I need to go back home to my family. As much as I love them for giving me everything I needed to succeed, they seem to be in a never ending fight with each other.

I said:

I dread the days I need to go back home to my family. As much as I love them for giving me everything I needed to succeed, they seem to be in a never ending fight with each other.

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Were you a calming force of the family or are you the first child ?

Both of these could make the mind wish to place it's efforts towards helping them (even if it is a moot cause) and thusly view your daily interactions at school as wasted efforts as there is a bigger issue it (your psyche) wishes to work on.