Hey guys, I want to say that this website is filled with really helpful and insightful information!
Also, please forgive me if this isn't in the right section of the forum.
Had a question I'd like to ask you guys. There's kind of a long story tied with this question, just as a heads up.
Over the past couple of months, I've been hanging out with this girl (around 3 times so far). That used to be a co-worker until she left that job. I truly believe we get along great, I always have a great time talking to her, and making each other laugh. But during that time, I didn't make it obvious that I wanted something more than a friendship.
Anyways, as time went on I began to have feelings for her. Only problem is, from an appearance perspective, I don't think I have a chance with this girl. Besides that, then I would say I have a decent chance with her.
I gave her a letter telling her how I feel, and after she read that, she said that I was a great guy friend to have, since I never made her uncomfortable. But basically telling me no, and being just friends is best. Which was fine, and I was ready to move on.
Until the guy that she started going out with 10 months ago, told me that she had texted him out of nowhere around 1am, and after picking her up, they had sex. I believe this is the first time they've seen each other in a long time. This happened about 1 week before handing her the letter.
Now what really makes me angry is that they only went out for 1 month, and in that 1 month span, they broke up like 3 times. After that was done, I was told by her multiple times that he would message her, trying to get back together, and she would ignore him, or simply say, that she's not interested in a relationship, and she wants to be just friends.
The worst part about this is, I would never expect this girl to be the one to randomly text a guy she had no interest in, out of nowhere, to have sex with randomly.
I'm angry because, I've treated her so much better than the other guy has, and spent a fair amount of $ on her, while going out. And if she's having sex with a guy that she considers "just a friend", and hasn't seen in a long time, compared to me, where I've seen her on a fairly consistent basis, and we message each other quite regularly. Then why am I not getting the same treatment?
I have a good idea, and I feel it's because of my appearance (heavyset). To her credit, before I handed her the note, describing how I feel about her, she did say she wanted to hang out, and that she had something to say about what happened between her and the other guy.
Is my anger warranted/ justified? And what would you recommend me do from here?
Here's what I had planned. I'm going to hang out with her one more time, and see if she mentions anything about the night with that other guy. If she conveniently leaves the "having sex with him" part out, then I was going to mention something about the other guy saying something different that happened that night, and see what her reaction is.
Then, I was going to bring up the fact that she told me that she was 'done' with the other guy, and would still be his friend... nothing more. I would then say, well aren't we friends too? If so, then why didn't you have sex with me too?
I'll be like, I'm sorry, but I just can't get past the fact that you'd do that with the other guy, which you haven't seen in a long time, and barley talk to, compared to me, that treats you right, has never hit on you, and will do anything for you.
I'm going to face her, and say, be honest, is the reason why you want do anything with me is because of my body? And if it seems she's sugar coating anything, I'll be like, alright let me be honest with you, I like you because of your personality, and how cute you are. That combination drives me crazy, and I would want nothing more than to have sex with a girl like you.
Now I'm sure I can phrase it a bit better than that, but I was aiming something along those lines. My thought process being that, if she's to scared to tell me that she won't have sex with me because of my body, then I would tell her something totally honest, and out of character for me to say to her.
Or, if possible I was going to make her feel bad about doing what she did. Again, I'd be honest and tell her, that she's been the first girl that I ever did these types of things with (hanging out) And tell her, the reason why I feel so upset about this situation, is that you mean a lot to me. And for you to do that, really did hurt me.
When I do hangout with her next time, how likely would it be that I'd end up having sex with her? Since I've never tried and made a move on her when we hungout before. Do you think she'd throw me a bone after being so honest? Or be completely dismissive about it, walk away, and that would be the last time I'd see her?
Also, please forgive me if this isn't in the right section of the forum.
Had a question I'd like to ask you guys. There's kind of a long story tied with this question, just as a heads up.
Over the past couple of months, I've been hanging out with this girl (around 3 times so far). That used to be a co-worker until she left that job. I truly believe we get along great, I always have a great time talking to her, and making each other laugh. But during that time, I didn't make it obvious that I wanted something more than a friendship.
Anyways, as time went on I began to have feelings for her. Only problem is, from an appearance perspective, I don't think I have a chance with this girl. Besides that, then I would say I have a decent chance with her.
I gave her a letter telling her how I feel, and after she read that, she said that I was a great guy friend to have, since I never made her uncomfortable. But basically telling me no, and being just friends is best. Which was fine, and I was ready to move on.
Until the guy that she started going out with 10 months ago, told me that she had texted him out of nowhere around 1am, and after picking her up, they had sex. I believe this is the first time they've seen each other in a long time. This happened about 1 week before handing her the letter.
Now what really makes me angry is that they only went out for 1 month, and in that 1 month span, they broke up like 3 times. After that was done, I was told by her multiple times that he would message her, trying to get back together, and she would ignore him, or simply say, that she's not interested in a relationship, and she wants to be just friends.
The worst part about this is, I would never expect this girl to be the one to randomly text a guy she had no interest in, out of nowhere, to have sex with randomly.
I'm angry because, I've treated her so much better than the other guy has, and spent a fair amount of $ on her, while going out. And if she's having sex with a guy that she considers "just a friend", and hasn't seen in a long time, compared to me, where I've seen her on a fairly consistent basis, and we message each other quite regularly. Then why am I not getting the same treatment?
I have a good idea, and I feel it's because of my appearance (heavyset). To her credit, before I handed her the note, describing how I feel about her, she did say she wanted to hang out, and that she had something to say about what happened between her and the other guy.
Is my anger warranted/ justified? And what would you recommend me do from here?
Here's what I had planned. I'm going to hang out with her one more time, and see if she mentions anything about the night with that other guy. If she conveniently leaves the "having sex with him" part out, then I was going to mention something about the other guy saying something different that happened that night, and see what her reaction is.
Then, I was going to bring up the fact that she told me that she was 'done' with the other guy, and would still be his friend... nothing more. I would then say, well aren't we friends too? If so, then why didn't you have sex with me too?
I'll be like, I'm sorry, but I just can't get past the fact that you'd do that with the other guy, which you haven't seen in a long time, and barley talk to, compared to me, that treats you right, has never hit on you, and will do anything for you.
I'm going to face her, and say, be honest, is the reason why you want do anything with me is because of my body? And if it seems she's sugar coating anything, I'll be like, alright let me be honest with you, I like you because of your personality, and how cute you are. That combination drives me crazy, and I would want nothing more than to have sex with a girl like you.
Now I'm sure I can phrase it a bit better than that, but I was aiming something along those lines. My thought process being that, if she's to scared to tell me that she won't have sex with me because of my body, then I would tell her something totally honest, and out of character for me to say to her.
Or, if possible I was going to make her feel bad about doing what she did. Again, I'd be honest and tell her, that she's been the first girl that I ever did these types of things with (hanging out) And tell her, the reason why I feel so upset about this situation, is that you mean a lot to me. And for you to do that, really did hurt me.
When I do hangout with her next time, how likely would it be that I'd end up having sex with her? Since I've never tried and made a move on her when we hungout before. Do you think she'd throw me a bone after being so honest? Or be completely dismissive about it, walk away, and that would be the last time I'd see her?