WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED IF YOU LEFT ALL FOR A PERIOD OF TIME?

Hi Everyone,

HAS ANYONE TAKEN A BREAK FROM ALL? IF SO, WOULD YOU PLEASE SHARE WHAT YOU LEARNED TO BRING YOU BACK TO THE PEOPLE AND EXPERIENCES ON THIS FORUM?

I don't know if you noticed that I've not posted on ALL for quite some time now. I took a break from the Forum, not only because I had computer problems, but because I was quite honestly tired of all the notifications in emails I received daily of posts people made on the Threads I had posted on. I learned that I need each and every one of you. I became more lonely, as I did what I do best--ISOLATE MYSELF.

I got lonely, again.

Often I felt like this forum was different to how I wanted it. By that I mean, there were people on here in similar positions but so many who's tastes differed greatly from mine. Add to that, it was unnerving knowing so many people were lonely and came to this forum for comfort. I didn't like the feeling of using the forum as something to comfort myself and cushion myself from the harshness of the real world.

Add to that, I'd fallen out with a couple of people and admittedly was being quite cruel and abrasive, so I left. Very rarely I'd come back and read but never stay. I'd asked for my original profile to be deleted so I couldn't post.

Then in September, I wanted to apologise to a certain somebody on here and so re-registered. I made up with that person and pretty much left it at that, until I came back about a month ago. Then I left again, then I came back about a week ago and have stuck around since.

It's a good place, with good people, and I said to one of its splendid members in a PM recently, if only ALL could act as a portal where these members could actually get together properly instead of looking at a screen and longing for it before returning to the real world.

I'm glad I came back.

I once faded away for a few months, simply because I felt that I was getting more irritable and edgy, starting to get into arguments with certain people that had different view points. and my online history was from debate forums and other sites where debates and online fighting were the norm. but this forum isn't a place for that and I felt myself getting angry each time I logged in and I didn't want to make everyone hate me here.
after stepping back for a while, I basically waited until some of the more aggressive people had left ALL themselves lol, and also a friend of mine here needed me around I felt at the time, so I returned with a calmer, more patient attitude and decided that if I didn't like a thread here or other peoples opinions, that I would keep it to myself.
there are still a few members around and things that could potentially set me off if I let them, its not too hard to ignore someone's signature or stay away from topics that get me worked up.

Thanks Seaso2 and Walley for your posts. Your personal feelings about ALL taught me quite a bit.

I've been around since July of 2008 I believe it was.
I had my original account deleted sometime in 2011 after a number of life events came crashing down on me. I was gone for maybe 4 or 5 months (can't exactly remember).
Looking back, my opinion is that leaving the forum didn't change anything for me.
I wish I hadn't had my original account deleted, but at the time, I needed to do SOMETHING.
It neither hurt nor helped me when I left the forum for those few months.

WishingWell said:

Thanks Seaso2 and Walley for your posts. Your personal feelings about ALL taught me quite a bit.

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Nice to know,

EveWasFramed said:

I've been around since July of 2008 I believe it was.
I had my original account deleted sometime in 2011 after a number of life events came crashing down on me. I was gone for maybe 4 or 5 months (can't exactly remember).
Looking back, my opinion is that leaving the forum didn't change anything for me.
I wish I hadn't had my original account deleted, but at the time, I needed to do SOMETHING.
It neither hurt nor helped me when I left the forum for those few months.

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I am sure, only one of many, many people who are glad you came back, and appreciate all the work you put into ALL! Thanks!

WishingWell said:

EveWasFramed said:

I've been around since July of 2008 I believe it was.
I had my original account deleted sometime in 2011 after a number of life events came crashing down on me. I was gone for maybe 4 or 5 months (can't exactly remember).
Looking back, my opinion is that leaving the forum didn't change anything for me.
I wish I hadn't had my original account deleted, but at the time, I needed to do SOMETHING.
It neither hurt nor helped me when I left the forum for those few months.

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I am sure, only one of many, many people who are glad you came back, and appreciate all the work you put into ALL! Thanks!

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Definitely!

WishingWell said:

EveWasFramed said:

I've been around since July of 2008 I believe it was.
I had my original account deleted sometime in 2011 after a number of life events came crashing down on me. I was gone for maybe 4 or 5 months (can't exactly remember).
Looking back, my opinion is that leaving the forum didn't change anything for me.
I wish I hadn't had my original account deleted, but at the time, I needed to do SOMETHING.
It neither hurt nor helped me when I left the forum for those few months.

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I am sure, only one of many, many people who are glad you came back, and appreciate all the work you put into ALL! Thanks!

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Awww...thank you so much, WW. *hug*

I probably should have added that as well.
I've been on ALOT of forums and always feel like I need to have one as a home, and one of the main things that makes ALL stand apart and what makes me want to keep returning (beyond the members) is the staff here.
they're all great =)
no attitudes and I pretty much agree with every decision I have seen them make. they represent the members here well imho.
and that in itself isn't a common thing to find.

Walley said:

I probably should have added that as well.
I've been on ALOT of forums and always feel like I need to have one as a home, and one of the main things that makes ALL stand apart and what makes me want to keep returning (beyond the members) is the staff here.
they're all great =)
no attitudes and I pretty much agree with every decision I have seen them make. they represent the members here well imho.
and that in itself isn't a common thing to find.

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I TOTALLY have some attitude - a right sassy one.

Lol

I haven't been on as much as I was before when I first joined, but I still enjoy this forum and the kind people/posts that I see.

I've been away for a long time...

Had to take a big step back to re-evaluate everything in my life in order to make any progress forward.

So, quit my job, re-entered education and cut ties to a lot of people who I realised were only bothering with me when they wanted something.

I actually feel somewhat lonelier now to be honest, but I am taking it as a necessary step if I ever want to move forward with my life.

I've found myself back on here I guess through that still present need to reach out and have contact with other people. I can't say I exactly have any "friends" other than several acquaintances, and although I'm happily married I still do get rather lonely.

I just returned about 2 weeks ago after not being on the forum for about a year.
What have I learned? A few things:

-I agree the moderators are very good. I've abandoned at least one other forum because of trolls that weren't kept in check.
-The holidays can be a very lonely time for many (including me )
-Sometimes I feel freakish but never here.
-Even introverted people (like me) need others

-Teresa

I came back recently too, after an almost 5-year break...I didn't leave for any reason other than forgetting about the site, busy with my son and family. It was funny coming back and seeing the last post I'd made back in 2009 was January 29th, two days before the birth of my son. I would've been right at the start of labour and obviously had other things on my mind at the time, haha.

I came back because one of members I used to write to suddenly popped into my head for no reason, and I wondered how he was doing - appears he's gone though, too bad, he was a really nice young fellow. At any rate, glad to see other familiar names still here, like Eve...yay! And even with a family, I still find myself lonely at times and wanting to reach out to others...All my best friends are people I've met online.

Seosa2 said:

Add to that, I'd fallen out with a couple of people and admittedly was being quite cruel and abrasive, ...

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Not alone with that, buddy. But in this case the people I've fallen out with started it, so the abrasiveness I've given is warranted

You get what you give...

I was here previously around 2007 and then stopped coming to the forum from 2008 for about 4 to 5 years. Only re-joined in 2012 after I managed to sort my mess together. I shouldn't have left. I lost some friends I made from here, and I think that was also when there were some changes made to the forum. I was more alone back when I left the forum than I ever was. I don't know what I was thinking seriously. I basically learned more about loneliness being all alone.

But I really have to admit, when I rejoined the forum, was when I started making some really good friends, few that are considered close and this forum has helped me in more ways than I can state.

I didn't learn anything. Oh, I didn't see anybody address this, so I wanted to make sure you know- you can adjust your settings so that you don't get those emails. I never get notifications like that.

I have learned that, to love, in any form or fashion, will require that we let go at some point...

Everyone we love, will leave us at some point...

ladyforsaken said:

I was here previously around 2007 and then stopped coming to the forum from 2008 for about 4 to 5 years. Only re-joined in 2012 after I managed to sort my mess together. I shouldn't have left. I lost some friends I made from here, and I think that was also when there were some changes made to the forum. I was more alone back when I left the forum than I ever was. I don't know what I was thinking seriously. I basically learned more about loneliness being all alone.

But I really have to admit, when I rejoined the forum, was when I started making some really good friends, few that are considered close and this forum has helped me in more ways than I can state.

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Same here, just returned from a year-long hiatus (I even closed my account at that time) and shouldn't have left in the first place, since I lost some friends that I made here. Then again, I was in a bad emotional state and I was starting to take out my frustrations on the members here, so I think that, at that time, it was for the best.