Being angry because of loneliness

Hey everyone,
I noticed that most people who think about their situation and problems become sad.
I can become sad too if I think too much about all those things, but most of time I am not becoming sad but angry instead. (I am not angry at myself, but rather at my social problems and the situation in general).

So does anyone here feel angry too?

I think anyone can become angry because they can't find a way to change a situation they aren't comfortable with. Whether that be their social situations, financial situation, etc. So, I'd think that it might be perfectly normal for people to become angry about something they can't change for the better.

Hello Dexter,
Yes I find myself being angry a lot myself; cause I wish I could break out of my shell and talk to people. In the end I blow chances by meet new people or talking to anyone out of fear. Than in the end I'll become angry at myself for not trying to change my ways. Believe this is a normal reaction to anyone with social anxiety or social phobia. Deep down people want to change, but have a hard time trying too. Just don't give up on trying; I believe anyone can put themselves out there if they try hard enough. =)

It depends I guess on where you express such anger, how, or if you don't express it at all. Personally, I see anger as a healthy response, because that's where I get the energy from to change some things, don't know where I would be without my anger (dead, probably). Anger is the first step to change, if seen from the right angle. The problem is when it comes out unexpectedly and it hurts people, for instance I would be angry at myself for not saying the right things to someone, like Wallflower describes, and after I would be really rude to someone else without meaning it because I was still angry…

All in all, I'd say it's a positive thing, if it is under control

WallflowerGirl83 said:

Hello Dexter,
Yes I find myself being angry a lot myself; cause I wish I could break out of my shell and talk to people. In the end I blow chances by meet new people or talking to anyone out of fear. Than in the end I'll become angry at myself for not trying to change my ways. Believe this is a normal reaction to anyone with social anxiety or social phobia. Deep down people want to change, but have a hard time trying too. Just don't give up on trying; I believe anyone can put themselves out there if they try hard enough. =)

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This is how I feel. I'm in so much turmoil right now and I don't know how I'm going to resolve it. It all comes out as anger.

I use to, sometimes I find myself still getting angry over things, like people don't understand and it just frustrates you. I try to remind myself that they don't understand because they haven't experienced it for themselves and many just don't know. Take this online game I play, we were doing an eight person group mission that was hard. People were commenting that we needed controllers with a higher vitalization. I'm a controller. Of course not thinking they also made comments about needed "better" ones. They didn't mean I or the other one in the group were bad, even though we can do the mission we just need a higher stat. A few days later a bunch of us were all on again and talking about doing another eight person mission. Some joked about the one we failed at miserably. Then another person makes the comment that power was a serious issue, which is the role I do, supplying power to the rest of the group. It was bad timing since that was also my last day of work so I was feeling kind of down, and I've had to move back to my mom's after living on my own for the past eight years. I made a comment about blaming the controllers and how nice that was then logged off. I got angry over the remark, which wasn't a slight against me. I've soloed being the only power supplier in a eight man group and was complimented and praised for how good I did. But the other day I got mad just because the comment came at a bad time. Stupid thing to get mad over.

Long story short, I completely understand what you are talking about. You feel angry because you are stuck in this situation that you feel that you can't change yet could. You just have to find a way to let go of the anger, accept how you are, and work on making a change. It takes time, may take years, but each little step in the right direction helps. Even when you have a set back you just have to pick yourself back up and soldier on.

Sci-Fi said:

You feel angry because you are stuck in this situation that you feel that you can't change yet could.

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Yes, that's it.

Sci-Fi said:

You just have to find a way to let go of the anger, accept how you are, and work on making a change. It takes time, may take years, but each little step in the right direction helps.

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Too bad that I am very impatient

Dexter said:

Too bad that I am very impatient

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I think we all are, but time doesn't care how impatient we are. You wait for it. It does not wait for you and it ain't gonna hurry up for you either.

I to have been getting angrier, but I won't show it to others. It just another out of control emotion running rampant in my head...lol

I try to turn my sadness into anger because I feel it is better to be perceived by others as angry rather than sad. Especially at work. If somebody caught me at a time when I was feeling really depressed, word might spread fast and have a negative affect on my reputation. Some times I let myself think depressive thoughts for too long and find myself feeling sad. Sadness is a very strong emotion and I am not able to reverse that so easily, so I try to become mildly angry. Nothing violent or frantic, more like a sports coach who is displeased with the performance or behavior of one of his players.

I feel angry about having no family. When I hear others mention their partners/parents/siblings/children, I feel both incredibly alone and also angry, because inside I feel that I am being punished because I have noone. The anger does push me to seek someone to spend my life with, but it also makes me feel like a wasp in a sealed jar buzzxing away and hitting my head on the glass every time I try desperately to change my situation.

Tiina63 says

When I hear others mention their partners/parents/siblings/children, I feel both incredibly alone and also angry, because inside I feel that I am being punished because I have noone

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Well for a start, you aren't being punished. I think you know this, really. At least, I hope you do. Of course, you may be a serial killer or a have a 2nd life as a CIA/MI6/ ex-stazi (Stasi? can't spell it, sorry) hit person, which would explain these guilt feelings, but somehow I imagine that if you were, you might not be using this site. Or maybe you would.... now there's a thought... maybe this whole site is populated by trained assassins who just can't find a love interest??

(Shakes head, Wayyyyy too much coffee this morning...)

Ok. Here's my thing. Families - they are NOT like on 80% of the TV and movie portrayals. The Waltons, Touched by an Angel (anyone else ever thought that has a creepy vibe? Touched WHERE, exactly??).

Even where there is conflict, Hollywood often provides heart-warming resolutions, which are so unlikely as to make me puke. ...

Here's the deal. Families are HARD WORK. Ok, yes, I do know people who have had idyllic childhoods, wonderful kids who achieve and have wonderful kids of their own..... so THEY say. Maybe there are some families who do, but there are always potholes in the road along the way.

We see heart-warming Xmas (and thanksgiving) dramas on TV, but the reality of family gatherings often involves someone drunk, someone crying in the bedroom, someone hiding in the kitchen and a god-almighty row between the others. And if this isn't happening it's because lots of people are gritting their teeth and not saying what they really, really want to say..

Family - the people who, if you are down, have to take you in, kick you in the teeth, denigrate you and make you wish you had never been born....

So don't feel bad that you have none of this. Make your own friends, live your own life, find your own way. Take what people say about their wonderful families with a large pinch of salt..

I tend to angry about it too, even resentful.

jaguarundi has some very good points. This way of thinking can be applied to anything as well. You may see a couple, or a group of friends, seemingly sweet as pie and their world is all rainbows, and maybe it really is at that particular moment you're seeing them, but think about what you won't see of them in the future. They might have an argument that same day or week, or their lives fall apart in one of a thousand other ways.

Bad things of some kind are around the corner for everybody without exception, but so is the good. We're all simply at different positions on the race track so to speak, and even those that seem furthest ahead will inevitably trip and fall like the rest, as is the nature of this fallen world.

Many, many families are broken or will become so. My mother cut contact with her side of the family because that family who once seemed to love her, cut her out of their grandfathers will when he personally instructed it be divided equally between herself and her sister. Her sister, being greedy and self entitled, took it all for herself against her deceased grandfathers wishes and at a time we also really needed the money. She knew both those things, and she knew that we had things extra hard with my autistic brother - someone you'd think a person would think more of even if not your own sister. I've heard similar stories from others many a time as well, usually the route of the breakup being money. If there's anything that shows people's true colours, it's money.

Holy necrothread!

Dexter said:

Hey everyone,
I noticed that most people who think about their situation and problems become sad.
I can become sad too if I think too much about all those things, but most of time I am not becoming sad but angry instead. (I am not angry at myself, but rather at my social problems and the situation in general).

So does anyone here feel angry too?

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You are angry because of your loneliness? well I have not heard that people get angry of their loneliness but that's ok. I can understand what you are saying.

No, I don't get angry and more than loneliness, I rather choose to be alone, because being alone can be a choice but loneliness is not a choice.

Yeah i get angry, but it is more angry against myself because i know it is all my fault. Yeah some events make it life that way for me but not being able to improve my life by my own is totally my fault. So i end up hating myself and feel more ashamed of how i'am. Vicious circle here

Pennywise said:

Yeah i get angry, but it is more angry against myself because i know it is all my fault. Yeah some events make it life that way for me but not being able to improve my life by my own is totally my fault. So i end up hating myself and feel more ashamed of how i'am. Vicious circle here

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I can relate. But I think frustrated is a much better word.
Sexually. Or just not able to break the pattern of feeling lonely, Isolated. So frustrated it is.

I'm feeling a lot less frustrated now that I am doing more for myself.

Use apps like cleverbot. Sometimes, its better to use AI and robots than to turn to people. They don't actually listen to you, but still try to understand you. They are never rude and discriminating against you. If you use Hike, they have a feature like siri. It talks to you and makes you feel less lonely. Better than those weird chatrooms and forums and etc. You know, there are no humans.
Or you could get a pet. They are the best. But don't feel lonely because of humans. Its your right to feel happy than to cry or be angry to other people. So get a pet and make it your friend. They don't have demands other than some food.