How To Ask A Quiet Girl Out?

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solitudeinside

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What is the best way to ask a quiet girl out for a date?

I'm fairly quiet myself, and I'm very shy around girls, so it's hard to speak with them, let alone ask them out for a date. Generally, I'm more attracted to the quiet, gentle, good-natured girls. There is a girl who works at a place that I frequent. She is absolutely stunning. She is very beautiful and just radiates a positive, calm, pleasant feeling... But I barely know her, and we have only spoken once or twice. Also, it's entirely possible she has not noticed me at all.

Would I scare her off if I just boldly walked up and started a conversation...and then, if the reaction was neutral/positive, asked her out for a date?

How would you ladies feel if a tall, quiet, slightly awkward, handsome guy asked you on a date--especially a complete stranger? (Not to be conceited, but I've heard that I'm an attractive guy...so that may or may not be an issue for her--just depends what her taste is. I'm skeptical about my looks, because I've always considered myself "average", but I have noticed more and more girls giving me some looks...)

If there are any women--especially ones fitting the personality traits mentioned above--who could answer this question, or give their thoughts, I would be very grateful.
 
Quietly:)

And I´m sorry, I´m not a lady to answer this, just couldn't help myself:)
 
Mr.YellowCat said:
Quietly:)

And I´m sorry, I´m not a lady to answer this, just couldn't help myself:)
Click to expand...

Hah! Thanks, captain obvious! :p

It's hard to say, because some quiet girls don't like quiet guys... They like the bold, dashing types...not exactly how I would describe myself.
 
Do it...

*drumroll*

...quietly.

:cool:

edit: Looks like someone beat me to the joke. Goddammit.
 
I'm quiet, and I like both quiet guys and not quiet guys (as long as they aren't obnoxious).

Being asked out by someone I didn't know at all would make me a bit nervous, so whether I said yes or no would largely depend on the conversation that preceded the invitation (if he was respectful, had something interesting to say, just seemed like my type of person, etc.). It would also depend on what I was being asked to do. I would be apprehensive saying yes to a "date" with a complete stranger, but less apprehensive if he, for instance, asked me to have coffee with him, or even to take a walk with him or something. Something that would give me a chance to get to know him better without the expectations of a full-on date (which usually last a few hours). It would feel like less pressure.

I can't speak for other women though, that's just how I'd feel about it.

P.S. I don't mind "slightly awkward"; it actually puts me at ease, being awkward myself, and I even find it a bit endearing.
 
Solivagant said:
I'm quiet, and I like both quiet guys and not quiet guys (as long as they aren't obnoxious).

Being asked out by someone I didn't know at all would make me a bit nervous, so whether I said yes or no would largely depend on the conversation that preceded the invitation (if he was respectful, had something interesting to say, just seemed like my type of person, etc.). It would also depend on what I was being asked to do. I would be apprehensive saying yes to a "date" with a complete stranger, but less apprehensive if he, for instance, asked me to have coffee with him, or even to take a walk with him or something. Something that would give me a chance to get to know him better without the expectations of a full-on date (which usually last a few hours). It would feel like less pressure.

I can't speak for other women though, that's just how I'd feel about it.
Click to expand...

Thank you for your helpful response! I have been trying to decide if a date is too much to ask for from a stranger, and I've been wondering if I should go with a more casual approach, so I really appreciate your thoughts on that. An actual date is above and beyond my expectations. As of now, I would be very pleased with any positive interaction with girls who are respectful and attractive. Going out for coffee is certainly a viable alternative.

I am fairly well-mannered, but I also don't want to come off as "needy", "clingy", or "too polite/chivalrous". I think some women view chivalry in a very negative light, but all I wish to do is treat all people with the utmost respect, especially a lady who interests me.

Is there such a thing as being too polite? If so, do you think that is a turn-off for women? Please explain if you can.

P.S. That is really good to know! I've often feared that my slight awkwardness would be totally repulsive.
 
You don't need to ask her out right away. Get her number. Talk to her. In person. Via text. Then when you can actually have a decent conversation you'll have a lot more courage and she'll feel much more comfortable saying yes when you ask her out.

There is definitely such a thing as being too polite, well mannered, and nice. To certain people, it comes off as fake, cold, and boring. A lot of people want more personality with more edge.
 
Or you can always stalk her, find out what time she finishes work and coincidentially walk by at that time, so if you start a conversation then, then she will see you not as just another customer making small talk like thay usually do (or more than usually, if she is stunning as you say), if she is smart maybe she will find the encounter kind of weird, and will suspect about you planning it, but if she at least likes how you look, then that wouldnt be a bad thing.
 
lostatsea said:
You don't need to ask her out right away. Get her number. Talk to her. In person. Via text. Then when you can actually have a decent conversation you'll have a lot more courage and she'll feel much more comfortable saying yes when you ask her out.

There is definitely such a thing as being too polite, well mannered, and nice. To certain people, it comes off as fake, cold, and boring. A lot of people want more personality with more edge.
Click to expand...

Thank you, I'll keep this in mind.

a lonely person said:
Or you can always stalk her, find out what time she finishes work and coincidentially walk by at that time, so if you start a conversation then, then she will see you not as just another customer making small talk like thay usually do (or more than usually, if she is stunning as you say), if she is smart maybe she will find the encounter kind of weird, and will suspect about you planning it, but if she at least likes how you look, then that wouldnt be a bad thing.
Click to expand...

Ah yes, stalking... I'm sure most women don't find that very attractive. ;) Plus I've never been good at looking innocent during an orchestrated coincidence. It usually turns into an awkward mess. lol
 
solitudeinside said:
a lonely person said:
Or you can always stalk her, find out what time she finishes work and coincidentially walk by at that time, so if you start a conversation then, then she will see you not as just another customer making small talk like thay usually do (or more than usually, if she is stunning as you say), if she is smart maybe she will find the encounter kind of weird, and will suspect about you planning it, but if she at least likes how you look, then that wouldnt be a bad thing.
Click to expand...

Ah yes, stalking... I'm sure most women don't find that very attractive.
Click to expand...
Only if she finds out ._.
 
I agree with Lostatsea Start a casual conversation with her first. A shy and awkward person isn't likely to outright reject you for that since the idea of being rejected by someone else for doing it themselves would be terrifying to them. Maybe try and get an idea for how compatible the two of you are and go from there.
 
I think it might be best just to take the chance to chat to her whenever you see her and get to know a bit more about her this way till you ask her for a date. She will then feel more at ease with you when you do ask her as she will know more about you, too, and be more at ease with you.
 
Tiina63 said:
I think it might be best just to take the chance to chat to her whenever you see her and get to know a bit more about her this way till you ask her for a date. She will then feel more at ease with you when you do ask her as she will know more about you, too, and be more at ease with you.
Click to expand...


I agree with this, I wouldn't ask her out on a date during the first conversation you guys will ever have.
Try to talk to her a bunch of times - maybe you'll realize she isn't all that interesting after all :D
 
Tiina63 said:
I think it might be best just to take the chance to chat to her whenever you see her and get to know a bit more about her this way till you ask her for a date. She will then feel more at ease with you when you do ask her as she will know more about you, too, and be more at ease with you.
Click to expand...

^ I agree.
 
I agree with what everyone else is saying, that it would be a good idea to get to know her first. That way you can get a sense of when might be the right time to ask her out.

Good luck to you!! :D
 
Everyone,

Thanks for your input. I agree with almost everything said, so it's good to have confirmation of what I was already thinking...

Keep commenting with your thoughts/opinions/advice! I appreciate all I can get! :)
 

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