How long is too long to mourn for my broken relationship?

Woke up this morning into a rainstorm. The sound of the rain hitting my windows and cars driving on wet roads woke me up. It reminded me how my ex and I would be cuddling on our couch and watch TV. How we would walk around, get soaked and make out. I miss those times. I would give anything to get her back. But it's never gonna happen. she showed me her new boyfriend and everything and hates me now because I said some things I shouldnt have said when she dumped me. Finals are coming. I have to finish a 15 page research paper by tommrow noon. I am so depressed right now to even fuckin trying to start this BS. It's sooo hard to juggle between emotional problems and school problem. I don't have anyone to talk to whatsoever as I live by myself off campus. me and my ex have broken up for 3 months now... I can't seem to get over her. Some days are ok, some days are bad where I am just thinking about her constantly. I thought about killing myself, but I'm too chickened out. I can't do this. I need to get over her. But I have trouble finding girlfriends since my ex shattered my self esteem.

I hate her, but I love her, it sucks so much. I wish this would all end. How long should I mourn? how long is too long?

I don't think there's a fixed time for getting over a breakup sadly...I'm sorry about all this SighX. I don't know how, but try and focus on your paper maybe? For me, I try to busy myself with work or chores or something so I don't have to think about it.

Please don't do anything to harm yourself...not over this. I know its hard, but at some point in the future, you would have moved on and who knows, perhaps even have found someone else, someone more awesome?

Hang in there, give it time, it'll get better eventually.

I know this is a case of 'easier said than done' and that 15 pages is quite a lot when it's due so soon but you need to do your best to ensure that you succeed in your studies. You'll probably feel a little better once you get some work done on it.

The sooner the better I say. But time-wise, its sorta up to you. You have to be strong enough to let go. Not thinking about her will help. Ask yourself what good can come from it. Then ask why you are putting yourself through this. Its illogical.

I think it depends on the amount of emotion you invested into someone.

It took me 2 yrs to get over the last girl. I had nightmares and stuff. My brain seemed to like reliving those 5 months together and replaying that dreadful "breakup" day. I was a serious mess. But I got my old self back, and I'm better now.

Midnight Sky said:

I think it depends on the amount of emotion you invested into someone.

It took me 2 yrs to get over the last girl. I had nightmares and stuff. My brain seemed to like reliving those 5 months together and replaying that dreadful "breakup" day. I was a serious mess.

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^ I went through that too.

I mourned my lost love for several years. I don't think there's any such thing as "too long", it's important to allow yourself to grieve for as much time as you need. It's different for everyone, and that's okay. You'll be done when you're done. And even then, it will still hurt sometimes.

Other aspects of your life are bound to be affected by it, but try not to let your life stop, even if it feels like it has. I know just how hard it is to juggle schoolwork along with personal grief (I also had trauma to deal with in addition). I can't even begin to describe how difficult it was really. I couldn't keep up anymore, I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't rest, my grades went down significantly, and I hated myself for it. Sometimes I wonder if I would have been better off taking a break to rest and recuperate and deal with my issues, instead of pushing myself so hard past the breaking point. I'm unhappy with how things turned out, regarding my schooling. But I try to tell myself that at least I got through it, got it out of the way. If I hadn't kept going, I'd probably still be sitting here with nothing accomplished.

I don't know if any of that is helpful. =/ Just saying that I can relate, really.

The general rule I've always heard (that I think nobody follows) is that you should grieve/mourn the relationship for one month for every year you were together.

Never made much sense to me.

I think it depends on the individual to be honest with you. My ex boyfriend and I broke up, I'm pretty much over him as of right now. The only thing I'm not over is what he put me through: such as the abuse and such. That's something entirely different though. Sometimes it takes a few months to get over a person and some people heal pretty quickly. I love her and I hate her phase is pretty hard though but I'm sure overtime you'll over come it. Try venting out in a journal, each time you're mad or sad just write in it. Overtime you'll realize you won't have anything more to write. Wish you all the best of luck! ~hugs~

thanks yall. this christmas has been tough... I think I will get over it once school starts and start meeting new people... but still, somewhere deep inside, I feel broken and abandoned. that comes out once in a while. It was bad during christmas eve when I cried all night

SighX99 said:

thanks yall. this christmas has been tough... I think I will get over it once school starts and start meeting new people... but still, somewhere deep inside, I feel broken and abandoned. that comes out once in a while. It was bad during christmas eve when I cried all night

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*hugs*

There is no quick fix, we all take are own time getting over people it just depends how big of an impact they had on your life. In May of last year I lost a girl I had dated for 2.5 years who agreed to marry me, here it is January and while it may not hurt as bad there are periods I go through where something will trigger an old memory and I will feel really depressed that I lost the one person in my life that I ever felt close to.