All of my friends are leaving

So, i'm currently at college with a small group of friends. This coming summer they'll all be leaving for university, whilst I am staying back an extra year due to drastically changing my course. Right now I'm comfortable, but I know what it's like when everyone around you is a stranger and, although I am relatively introvert and don't need much social interaction, within just a few hours of seeing groups of friends whilst I am alone I start feeling rejected and paranoid as if everyone is just staring at me and, after about a week, depression will set in. In classes this isn't so much of an issue, I just focus on work. Though there is a lot of downtime, free periods and such where you're "supposed" to hang out with your massive group of friends and laugh at the weird guy on his own.

Here's where I ask for help. I am confident people have been in similar situations to this, and I am lucky to be alone for just 1 year. So, what do I do? At home, there's the internet. But I am by no means rich, and a laptop is far out of my reach. I could just read textbooks. But that poses another question: where do I go? My college is **** busy (finding a table is like winning the lottery) and so I could find myself wandering. This is an issue as I find walking through the same corridor twice in a small space of time makes me paranoid as heck. If I could nail these issues I'm sure I'd be okay, but otherwise I know my negative emotions will detriment my work, and I am aiming for A's, so I haven't much room for mistake. I am not prepared to make a new friendship group for just 1 year, though.

So, for those who have had / are having similar experiences, how did / do you combat loneliness in college/school/university/whatever? What did you do to burn your free time? Any thoughts or feelings on the topic would be great and I'd love to hear about peoples experiences with this kind of stuff.

tl;dr: No friends at college, feel lonely, don't want to get depressed again, what to do / where to go in free time?

Hey Kira,

Kudos on trying to stay strong through this situation. I know too well how hard it can be.

Perhaps you can try borrowing books from the library for a start? I was a bit of a loner in college, so I used to seek out quiet reading spots around campus (under trees, along corridors, staircases, the sports stadium). Also, why don't you try volunteering at an animal shelter or orphanage/women's shelter? This way, you won't have to form long term relationships with people, but you won't feel completely alone either.

And maybe you can try getting into some kind of fitness program if you're interested in that sort of thing? I couldn't afford gyms back then so I printed out workout routines to do at home and I used to run in the mornings. And the good thing about exercising is that by the time you're done, you're too wiped to want to talk to people or do anything, and the days fly by

Hope this helps and good luck! Hang in there, you'll be done with the year soon!

I absolutely agree with what Veruca said. In addition, to make yourself busy you should concentrate and study crazy but do not push too hard. During the weekends i feel quite and lonely and eager to do something outside of my home but there's no one by my side. At this kind of time, I open up my books and start studying my A-level.

I completely understand where you're coming from. But it seems you're already looking at the bright side, you said you only have to be a 'loner' for one year while you make your way to university with your regular friends. It's better than being 2 or 3 years behind right? And whose to say you won't make other friends during that time as well? As in your free time...I agree with Veruca, volunteering at your local animal shelter for at least an hour or two wouldn't be too bad. You could walk the dogs around & stuff. Also you could try joining the gym! Working out is superv as a stress reliever and you'll always feel better after you're done (I'm currently a gym member). Hmmmm... one last thing I could think of is to start going to your library whether at the school or city and get some books to read! Find something that will interest you.

I've probably written about my little story a million times. But when I saw your post, i just felt like I had to share with you . Sorry if some of the stuff I say doesn't make sense or if this is too long.

I'm in high school. Back in 8th grade, I had this tight group of friends that I would always hangout with. They were really happy to be around! Because my parents got divorced however, I had to move away from the school where all my friends went too. When I first heard about this, it was pretty sad. I didn't know if I would stay friends with these people, or if I would have to move on and make new friends. Similar to your situation, I stayed optimistic and assumed that after one year, I would move back and be with all my friends.

I remember being so determined to keep my group of friends together. I was always the one who would get everyone together to hangout. While it was difficult for me to get a ride to their neighborhood since my mom worked a lot, I would wake up early in the morning and convince my friends to meet me somewhere to hangout. So yeah, I was pretty hell bent on keeping these friends around.

One year passed and our friendship remained the same. Last summer (2013), I learned that I would be moving closer to my friends (5 min drive away), although I wouldn't be able to attend the same school they did. Still, I stayed determined like I was. Over the summer, I expected it to be just like last year's summer (2012). I assumed that we would hangout often and have a blast. I even offered to bike to their neighborhood to hangout lol. It was a 30 min bike ride, and it was through an area that wasn't necessarily ideal for biking. My mom thought I was crazy, but that determined me still stayed the same.

Unfortunately, this was where I felt our friendship started going down hill. We never really hung out over the summer. Two of my friends were supposedly "extremely busy" over the summer due to summer school. It's hard to describe how it felt. Every time I would ask them to hangout, they would bring up summer school or say they were busy. It was a plausible excuse, but it did feel like something wasn't right. I felt like while I still stayed determined to keep our friendship strong, all my other friends didn't feel the same. They weren't lifting their own weight while I was so hell bent on keeping this alive.

Fast forward to the present. I just stopped hanging out with them. It got to the point where whenever I asked one of them to hangout, they'd always have an excuse up their sleeve. It got to the point where they kept blowing me off with these pathetic excuses of why they couldn't hangout. I decided to just stop contacting them, and stop trying to keep this dead friendship alive. I guess they did the same thing, because I hung out with them in a while.

So back to your topic. How do you cope with being away with your friends for a long period of time? For me, I hung out with them often. I stayed in touch with them all the time. I don't know if you play video games but whenever we couldn't hangout, I would hop on my PS3 and play with them online. As for my new school, I didn't really make any new friends. I felt like my old, close knit group of friends was my lifeline. I still talked to people and such, but on the inside I treated them more like acquaintances than new friends. Stay in touch with your old friends and find some new people you can talk to.

One last thing. Don't assume that these group of friends will be with you forever like I did. People change. I feel that this happens especially when you're trying to keep a "distance" relationship with them. I tried my hardest to constantly stay in touch with these people. No matter what everyone else's experience with this kind of friendship was, I felt that I could stay friends with these guys if I moved to Jupiter. It's like there is some curse that comes every time you move away from your friends for a long time. If you're as hell bent as I was to keep these friends around, go ahead. Stay in touch, and hangout whenever you can. Remember that you're the oddball now. You're the only guy who is away from your friends. They're still together right? Try and be the guy that I was and get everyone together to hangout if you wanna maintain your friendship. With that being said, keep in mind that people do change. Maybe what happened to me will happen to you. It's not easy to maintain a friendship when you're away from your friends but if you are determined, I'm sure you can pull through.

Hope this helps! If you have any other questions feel free to ask me.