Friends making me feel lonely?

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pandas123

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I have a few friends, and somehow when they make plans with without me, i feel lonely? I put a question mark because im not sure what the feeling is. Am i lonely, sad, mad, or jealous? I'm not sure, but either way, it bothers me. I feel like im pretty funny and outgoing so why leave me out of whatever they have planned? Sometimes i wonder if i was destined to be outcast, because i feel a lot that way. I realized it kinda is my fault though since i rarely take interest in conversations people are having because i feel as if they're "dumb" topics or conversations. I've yet to find intelligent people who like to talk about a variety of things. Things that lead to deep conversations. Aaaaand with that i'll end this. I just felt like sharing what i felt and see if others were in a similar situation.
 
How about.. neglected and unwanted? I'm in that situation now... but due to my own creation. I've neglected my friends so long that they've decided to neglect me as well.
 
Don't really have any friends irl to hang out with, but something like that happened to me in the past. It was more of one person not wanting to include me in things for whatever reason, probably because I saw through all the honeysuckle she was doing. But I don't think it is so much loneliness as the others you mentioned. A bit of feeling sad, mad and jealous.
 
pandas123 said:
I have a few friends, and somehow when they make plans with without me, i feel lonely? I put a question mark because im not sure what the feeling is.

Then do like me when I'm hungry-> Do I wan't something salty or sweet?
Just ask yourself if you're Ok with that. If it doesn't hurt

pandas123 said:
I realized it kinda is my fault though since i rarely take interest in conversations people are having because i feel as if they're "dumb" topics or conversations. I've yet to find intelligent people who like to talk about a variety of things. Things that lead to deep conversations. Aaaaand with that i'll end this. I just felt like sharing what i felt and see if others were in a similar situation.

I know how that feels! And now my curiosity is poking me: what do you like to talk about?: books, thoughts, music, politics, etc?

I used to talk about those things a lot, but I got 0 feedback or not even a comment, so I stopped.

What I did is that I "dumbed myself down", and even thought that worked (sometimes), I wasn't happy (because in the end, that wasn't -me being me-) so I wouldn't advice that to you, or you can take it if it's Ok with you.

Thanks for sharing that, by the way!
 
pandas123 said:
I just felt like sharing what i felt and see if others were in a similar situation.

I feel the same. I think the right way to describe it as 'hurt offense' and a sense of being 'left out'. Like you don't have value enough to be included in their circle or invited.
 
Ray McCloud said:
pandas123 said:
I have a few friends, and somehow when they make plans with without me, i feel lonely? I put a question mark because im not sure what the feeling is.

Then do like me when I'm hungry-> Do I wan't something salty or sweet?
Just ask yourself if you're Ok with that. If it doesn't hurt

pandas123 said:
I realized it kinda is my fault though since i rarely take interest in conversations people are having because i feel as if they're "dumb" topics or conversations. I've yet to find intelligent people who like to talk about a variety of things. Things that lead to deep conversations. Aaaaand with that i'll end this. I just felt like sharing what i felt and see if others were in a similar situation.

I know how that feels! And now my curiosity is poking me: what do you like to talk about?: books, thoughts, music, politics, etc?

I used to talk about those things a lot, but I got 0 feedback or not even a comment, so I stopped.

What I did is that I "dumbed myself down", and even thought that worked (sometimes), I wasn't happy (because in the end, that wasn't -me being me-) so I wouldn't advice that to you, or you can take it if it's Ok with you.

Thanks for sharing that, by the way!

Some of the things I like to talk about are about politics, religion, books, video games, sports, my thoughts, etc. I can talk about anything really though, im pretty easy going. I also really enjoy having deep conversations instead of the usual small talk or pointless stuff. I guess part of the reason why I suck at making friends is that i don't "dumb myself down" enough? Idk haha.

Either way, ive made the conclusion that these "friends" i have really have no positive impact in my life. They're really not doing anything for me. They're out there doing drugs/drinking every day and me, I actually have goals and dreams id like to accomplish, so there's that! :)
 
I have also found myself in similar situations, it can be an emotional rollercoaster
 
Maybe you need to meet new people? If the topics they talk about aren't of your interest, that's not your fault. You could just be a step ahead of them.
 
One thing I know I do, is be too blaze' about my friends including me or not. Sort of a defense mechanism. So they leave me out thinking i wouldn't want to be there anyway. It is a weird dynamic. I really want to be there, put up a front like I don't care either way to protect my feelings if they don't invite me, and then, they don't and I get my feelings hurt anyway.
 
It sounds like you may not have too much common with your friends... At least not in a way of conversation... I don't have to tell ya finding people with common interest can be very hard... Try online... Look up to see if there's any type of group meetings that discusses topics you like...
 
pandas123 said:
I realized it kinda is my fault though since i rarely take interest in conversations people are having because i feel as if they're "dumb" topics or conversations. I've yet to find intelligent people who like to talk about a variety of things. Things that lead to deep conversations.

I used to feel this way when talking to people with really different interests especially when it came to sports that I didn't watch like the NFL or cricket. I found the only way I could try to connect with them though is to push my curiosity up and find why they're so interested and invested in these topics. Upon pushing for answers for depth I found a common ground in which I could appreciate their interests. But that might have to do with the fact that I just appreciate depth of any kind regardless of the subject matter as long as it's involved and on a level of detail that can only be ascertained by passion.
 
pandas123 said:
I have a few friends, and somehow when they make plans with without me, i feel lonely? I put a question mark because im not sure what the feeling is. Am i lonely, sad, mad, or jealous? I'm not sure, but either way, it bothers me. I feel like im pretty funny and outgoing so why leave me out of whatever they have planned? Sometimes i wonder if i was destined to be outcast, because i feel a lot that way. I realized it kinda is my fault though since i rarely take interest in conversations people are having because i feel as if they're "dumb" topics or conversations. I've yet to find intelligent people who like to talk about a variety of things. Things that lead to deep conversations. Aaaaand with that i'll end this. I just felt like sharing what i felt and see if others were in a similar situation.

You're exactly like me. You don't have any friends. You will have when you learn to sit down, shut up and let them speak.
 

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