Would it be weird if I messaged this girl in my class on facebook?

Hi, I have a question:

There is this girl in my art history class that I kind of have a crush on. We talk all the time in class, mainly class discussions. I just found her on facebook by searching her name. I have been trying to ask her out but I'm just way too shy and I am not totally sure if shes interested. She seems open to me though, as she did numerous things such as whispering to me, sitting next to me, playing with her hair, teasing me...etc in class. BUT she never tries to talk to me right after class. she does say hi when she sees me on campus

would it be weird if I just messaged her out of nowhere on facebook? even though we have no mutual friends, and she is not my friend on FB and I just kind of searched her name to find her facebook page? I'm so torn because I'm afraid that I will come off as creepy by messaging her. But I'm also too shy to ask her out or for her phone number in person. I feel like if I messaged her first it will take the edge off. please help, thanks

What if the next time you talk to her, ask her if she has Facebook and if you could add her to your friend list? And then start rolling from there? So it doesn't seem so weird to you to message her out of nowhere?

^That.

I don't want to seem sexist but men are biologically created to pursue women. You talk all the time in class so it would not be weird to send her a friend request on face book. I would say, take it slow, send her a friend request first and see if she accepts. If not, don't ask her out. If she does then you can start by sending her a friendly message on face book. If she responds well to this you can ask her out. Or even better, ask her out in class or after class. You don't need to add her to face book for a date.

Totally okay to Friend Request her. You know each other from something, so there's your context. Once you've done that, you should chat her up if you want - you already talk to each other in real life so again there would be nothing strange about it.

I used to get bogged down in this kind of stuff all the time. You just have to put yourself out there and go for what, or in this case who, you want.

ladyforsaken said:

What if the next time you talk to her, ask her if she has Facebook and if you could add her to your friend list? And then start rolling from there? So it doesn't seem so weird to you to message her out of nowhere?

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Agreed

I think it would be fine to facebook friend her. Since you are in the same class you could make it like a necessity in case you missed class and needed to find out what happened. But even if you didn't I think that would be fine.

SighX99 said:

Hi, I have a question:

There is this girl in my art history class that I kind of have a crush on. We talk all the time in class, mainly class discussions. I just found her on facebook by searching her name. I have been trying to ask her out but I'm just way too shy and I am not totally sure if shes interested. She seems open to me though, as she did numerous things such as whispering to me, sitting next to me, playing with her hair, teasing me...etc in class. BUT she never tries to talk to me right after class. she does say hi when she sees me on campus

would it be weird if I just messaged her out of nowhere on facebook? even though we have no mutual friends, and she is not my friend on FB and I just kind of searched her name to find her facebook page? I'm so torn because I'm afraid that I will come off as creepy by messaging her. But I'm also too shy to ask her out or for her phone number in person. I feel like if I messaged her first it will take the edge off. please help, thanks

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Send a friends request, if she accepts 'like' some of her posts, try a bit of chatting then if it's going well, send a message asking her someplace.

This approach worked for me once.

I kinda disagree with people in here about contacting her on facebook. I dont think it would be weird or creepy, but I think that may hurt your chances when making advances for asking her out.
My advise may be useless, but it would be to "man up", try to get over you being too shy, and ask her out, even if you were to have a hear attack during it. I know this advice may be lame, but its the way I see it. Just gather all of your bravery, and ask her whatever you want to ask her, phone number, going out for a coffee, see a movie...

Mr.YellowCat said:

I kinda disagree with people in here about contacting her on facebook. I dont think it would be weird or creepy, but I think that may hurt your chances when making advances for asking her out.
My advise may be useless, but it would be to "man up", try to get over you being too shy, and ask her out, even if you were to have a hear attack during it. I know this advice may be lame, but its the way I see it. Just gather all of your bravery, and ask her whatever you want to ask her, phone number, going out for a coffee, see a movie...

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You know what? I have to agree with him. Besides if you send her a face book friend request you'll be following her on face book which might creep her out if your intention is to date her. Just ask her out, you don't need to have her on face book when you can call her and hang out with her in person if she is interested.

idk. I don't think facebook friend requests are that formal or intimidating of a thing. I was on this other site for a while, still am from time to time, got to know some people on there and friend requested them / they friend requested me. We've never met in real life either, but it doesn't feel weird at all. I think it's all about how you present yourself. If you act calm, cool, and collected, then that's how you'll be received. If you act nervous and weird, then that is how you'll be received.

I remember back in high school, I was so shy I couldn't even look in some girls' direction. In some cases where I had to talk to girls, sometimes I could barely speak. Hint - being nervous is the wrong answer. One thing I've noticed to be true in both movies and in real life is that the calm cool guy does always get the girl ( not that girls are things to "get" and such, but its a simple expression, ya know). Or at least, the nervous, freaking-out overthinking guy NEVER gets the girl. You can almost bet money on the last one. Seen it/lived it a million times.

Just send her a friend request and take note of the reaction. There's nothing creepy about friend requesting somebody you've spoken to a number of times if you seem to get along. If it's ignored, left pending or she seems uncomfortable around you next time, then you'll know.

Facebook is about connecting people, it would not be weird for you to add someone you know. I would prefer to ask in person, though maybe you could be subtle with her to see how she reacts or something.

OK, PS: Her facebook is SUPER PRIVATE. I cannot add her. I can only message her as we have no mutual friends. My message will end up in "other" folder as well. I will see her tomorrow, I SHALL GATHER UP THE COURAGE AND ASK HER OUT TO LUNCH. wish me luck.... I only hope that she didn't get taken during the weekend....

Good luck, Sigh.

You went from being scared to send her a facebook request to having the guts to ask her on a what old school people would call a lunch date. Big jump. I hope it went well.

it didnt go well... so she is not interested and is taken. BUT at the same time, i have been talking to this other girl just kind of not even focusing too much on dating her. i asked her for lunch the other day and bam, it went really well. life just kinda happens sometimes...

Whoa nice. Well good luck and hope this one works out well for you.