Advice for Virgin and Single Man

man who are virgins...

I See alot of man on here wondering they are virgins over the age of 21..
its nothing wrong with being a virgin at all but if you feel a shame of it well here is it...
Never feel like your not good enough to any women yes they will be women that will reject even as an attractive guy alot of women still reject them... so rejection will always happen no matter what do not try to kill your self over rejections lol its always a women out there for you

never rush into sex as well the girl def isnt going to feel love when let the conversation flow before talking about it do not go straight to talking about that...

now this is one mistake that people do..... never !!! ever !!!! start talking about how you deeply feel about your self if its depressing ... dont not start talking about " girls never liked me" I hate my self for being a virgin" i cant never get a girl" you have to show them confidence and admit to you being a virgin but it doesnt bother you if you start complaining about how much you hate your life or your sex life... she is going to feel negative vibes or feel bad for you in a friend way......

now the biggest mistake ever....... Do NOT BE SO NICE ! im not saying treat her mean but some[/size] guys think low of them selves they see a pretty girl and start being so kind being a gentleman trying to be her friend/bestfriend always giving her stuff always being there for her letting her be control of every situation.....all your going to do is tease your self and found out there your just nothing more but just a friend no matter how hard you try......and your are not going to get the goodies........lol !!

Or... you could try for a long-term, stable relationship instead of tricking women into a one-nighter (this might be an alien concept)

That said though, some of us will never be in any kind of relationship and remain virgins for life. This is mainly to do with an unattractive facial structure and high social anxiety level that isn't easy to overcome.

Or, you can find meaning in other things that aren't sexual. I think I'm re-inventing the wheel here. I should start charging for my posts. I mean, who'd have thought that we'd still have to fight against sudden thirst syndrome in 2014? And here I was thinking we'd get to solving REAL problems.

Meanwhile, at the White House . . .

I read online from someone that dating is just like an audition. You go in give the best stuff you've learned. See how they do and/or how much they care. Theres no guarantees no commitments for a phone call. And theres always going to be another one another day. You wouldn't tell a casting director how your so lonely you cry yourself to sleep. Or go overboard on the ass kissing. I agree about being to nice to. Nobody's ever always nice. If she dosent click its nobody's fault.

Despite displaying limited intelligence in another thread, the nobody above me is correct.

Forever Misanthrope said:

Despite displaying limited intelligence in another thread, the nobody above me is correct.

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Enjoy your year-long break. You don't have the right, nor the moral authority to refer to ANYONE as a "nobody."
And it's not HIM that seems to be lacking intelligence. Having already been told by forum admin to stop with your juvenile insults, an intelligent person would have done just that. But you didn't. Oh.

daddymack said:

man who are virgins...

I See alot of man on here wondering they are virgins over the age of 21..
its nothing wrong with being a virgin at all but if you feel a shame of it well here is it...
Never feel like your not good enough to any women yes they will be women that will reject even as an attractive guy alot of women still reject them... so rejection will always happen no matter what do not try to kill your self over rejections lol its always a women out there for you

never rush into sex as well the girl def isnt going to feel love when let the conversation flow before talking about it do not go straight to talking about that...

now this is one mistake that people do..... never !!! ever !!!! start talking about how you deeply feel about your self if its depressing ... dont not start talking about " girls never liked me" I hate my self for being a virgin" i cant never get a girl" you have to show them confidence and admit to you being a virgin but it doesnt bother you if you start complaining about how much you hate your life or your sex life... she is going to feel negative vibes or feel bad for you in a friend way......

now the biggest mistake ever....... Do NOT BE SO NICE ! im not saying treat her mean but some[/size] guys think low of them selves they see a pretty girl and start being so kind being a gentleman trying to be her friend/bestfriend always giving her stuff always being there for her letting her be control of every situation.....all your going to do is tease your self and found out there your just nothing more but just a friend no matter how hard you try......and your are not going to get the goodies........lol !!

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You make it sound so easy…

Forever Misanthrope said:

Despite displaying limited intelligence in another thread, the nobody above me is correct.

Click to expand...

Why would you even talk like that? Do you act that way in real life? Is this how you talk to everyone? So many questions.

kamya said:

Forever Misanthrope said:

Despite displaying limited intelligence in another thread, the nobody above me is correct.

Click to expand...

Why would you even talk like that? Do you act that way in real life? Is this how you talk to everyone? So many questions.

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He's/She's been banned. I don't think he/she's ever going to reply to your questions... Just letting you know.

daddymack said:

man who are virgins...

I See alot of man on here wondering they are virgins over the age of 21..
its nothing wrong with being a virgin at all but if you feel a shame of it well here is it...
Never feel like your not good enough to any women yes they will be women that will reject even as an attractive guy alot of women still reject them... so rejection will always happen no matter what do not try to kill your self over rejections lol its always a women out there for you

never rush into sex as well the girl def isnt going to feel love when let the conversation flow before talking about it do not go straight to talking about that...

now this is one mistake that people do..... never !!! ever !!!! start talking about how you deeply feel about your self if its depressing ... dont not start talking about " girls never liked me" I hate my self for being a virgin" i cant never get a girl" you have to show them confidence and admit to you being a virgin but it doesnt bother you if you start complaining about how much you hate your life or your sex life... she is going to feel negative vibes or feel bad for you in a friend way......

now the biggest mistake ever....... Do NOT BE SO NICE ! im not saying treat her mean but some[/size] guys think low of them selves they see a pretty girl and start being so kind being a gentleman trying to be her friend/bestfriend always giving her stuff always being there for her letting her be control of every situation.....all your going to do is tease your self and found out there your just nothing more but just a friend no matter how hard you try......and your are not going to get the goodies........lol !!

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As a female I'd like to briefly add my two cents. I myself am a virgin, and there was a guy who was interested in me who was a virgin also. How do I know? because he told me his life story in all of 30 minutes. The fact that he "lead" with this turned me off instantly. It had me thinking "why would he tell me this right away? Is his goal just to have sex with me? is he trying to make me feel sympathetic so i'll have sex with him?" (we're both in our mid 20s).I spoke on and off with him for months and even attempted to hang out with him but he would blow me off. we simply had no chemistry and i wasn't physically or intellectually attracted to him. I made it clear to him but he kept contacting me, continued texting me over and over. Dear Men, when women say we don't want men who are "too nice" we mean (IMO) that we don't want men who seem desperate and thirsty. You don't need to chase after a women and jump when she says jump. This guy was very desperate and very thirsty and if he wasn't chasing after me it would have been some other girl. It almost seemed like he was trying to "wear me down". I honestly could have gotten past the lack of physical attraction and dated him if not for his personality. He lacked confidence, he spoke negatively about himself nonstop, telling me how much rejection he's faced from women and his lack of social skills. Again, huge turn off. If you tell me every reason under the sun why i should NOT like you, why would i like you?! Am I your therapist or a girl you want to date? I definitely don't consider myself a "catch". I'm probably a 2 on a scale of 10 so some people may think I should settle for whatever I can get. But even a women like myself has no interest in a man like that.

Geez, jayme89

Well, to be fair, it was his fault that things ended up very quickly. I don’t know what age you’re currently, so I’ll assume your story took place any day after 2005. By that time, we had internet and if I were him (which, I have to admit, I’m sort of am), I would have looked up for all sorts of advice about dating; I would not have gone without an idea of what I had to do.

Still though, and I know you’ll completely disagree with me, but I think you should have given him a few more chances, 3 at most. Yes, he told you about himself too fast, yes, he seemed desperate, yes he lacked confidence, but ALL of these things are common mistakes done by guys that have little to no experience in the dating department, especially if they’ve been alone for a very long time. You have to be patient with these guys and that’s the key word here: PATIENCE.

In fact, let me give you an example of what you should have done.

When I was in College, I had a female classmate, whom I talked with every day before and after class and there were a few occasions when she talked to me about her boyfriend. Basically, she told me that he had all the symptoms of low self-esteem. Self-hate? Check. Overly apologetic? Check. Poor social skills? Check. Hyper-sensitive? Check. Rejected many times? Check. Well, despite having all of these things, she still stayed with him and tried to boost his confidence. Now, we know we’ve heard not to change for anyone, but this was a different case: she was trying to make him a better person and increase his chances of being a more positive person. She did not give up on him and actually managed to stay with him for a couple of months, which, to my surprise, did change him a bit. As time passed by, he started smiling more, he was more confident in doing stuff, some of his hyper-sensitivity was gone and it was like this for about 2 years, if I’m not mistaken. She managed to introduce me to him a few times and he was a completely different person the last time I saw him. Oh, and just so you know, yes, they ended their relationship, not because of a fight or an argument, but because he had to move to another state, or so she said.

I got to say that he got lucky in finding a woman that at least tried with these types of men, and that’s what really bothers me. It shouldn’t be luck at all! If I was a girl’s first boyfriend and she had every symptom of low self esteem, I would do the same in trying to cheer her up, but if I see no improvements in a number of months, then she’s not worth trying. We guys give women with low self esteem a chance, so why can’t you give us an opportunity too?

ardour said:

Or... you could try for a long-term, stable relationship instead of tricking women into a one-nighter (this might be an alien concept)

That said though, some of us will never be in any kind of relationship and remain virgins for life. This is mainly to do with an unattractive facial structure and high social anxiety level that isn't easy to overcome.

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lol i never said anything about tricking them into a one nighter... this isnt a one nighter type advice as u can see the advice that i gave will obviously take time..... and if people take it as that " o well "
you fail to realize that just because someone is a virgin doesnt mean they never had a long term relationship that they feel is stable...... but attempts after attempts unfortunately some man desires are sexual reasons instead of long term stable relationship this advice can go both ways... all im saying is do not rush into saying depression stuff because when a girl sees that she not going to like that.. its not about tricking them... its all about not rushing and telling your life story about how bad it is... maybe be on some positive things when you first meet her and take your time to go on how you deeply feel.....

---

jayme89 said:

daddymack said:

man who are virgins...

I See alot of man on here wondering they are virgins over the age of 21..
its nothing wrong with being a virgin at all but if you feel a shame of it well here is it...
Never feel like your not good enough to any women yes they will be women that will reject even as an attractive guy alot of women still reject them... so rejection will always happen no matter what do not try to kill your self over rejections lol its always a women out there for you

never rush into sex as well the girl def isnt going to feel love when let the conversation flow before talking about it do not go straight to talking about that...

now this is one mistake that people do..... never !!! ever !!!! start talking about how you deeply feel about your self if its depressing ... dont not start talking about " girls never liked me" I hate my self for being a virgin" i cant never get a girl" you have to show them confidence and admit to you being a virgin but it doesnt bother you if you start complaining about how much you hate your life or your sex life... she is going to feel negative vibes or feel bad for you in a friend way......

now the biggest mistake ever....... Do NOT BE SO NICE ! im not saying treat her mean but some[/size] guys think low of them selves they see a pretty girl and start being so kind being a gentleman trying to be her friend/bestfriend always giving her stuff always being there for her letting her be control of every situation.....all your going to do is tease your self and found out there your just nothing more but just a friend no matter how hard you try......and your are not going to get the goodies........lol !!

Click to expand...

As a female I'd like to briefly add my two cents. I myself am a virgin, and there was a guy who was interested in me who was a virgin also. How do I know? because he told me his life story in all of 30 minutes. The fact that he "lead" with this turned me off instantly. It had me thinking "why would he tell me this right away? Is his goal just to have sex with me? is he trying to make me feel sympathetic so i'll have sex with him?" (we're both in our mid 20s).I spoke on and off with him for months and even attempted to hang out with him but he would blow me off. we simply had no chemistry and i wasn't physically or intellectually attracted to him. I made it clear to him but he kept contacting me, continued texting me over and over. Dear Men, when women say we don't want men who are "too nice" we mean (IMO) that we don't want men who seem desperate and thirsty. You don't need to chase after a women and jump when she says jump. This guy was very desperate and very thirsty and if he wasn't chasing after me it would have been some other girl. It almost seemed like he was trying to "wear me down". I honestly could have gotten past the lack of physical attraction and dated him if not for his personality. He lacked confidence, he spoke negatively about himself nonstop, telling me how much rejection he's faced from women and his lack of social skills. Again, huge turn off. If you tell me every reason under the sun why i should NOT like you, why would i like you?! Am I your therapist or a girl you want to date? I definitely don't consider myself a "catch". I'm probably a 2 on a scale of 10 so some people may think I should settle for whatever I can get. But even a women like myself has no interest in a man like that.

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lol thats a nice story..... exactly i mean dang u do not want to be someone therapist... you do not want to keep hearing stuff like " im fat and ugly " i hate my self... " what can i do with my life i need your help" i just feel like if someone feel that way ease it a bit but do not be trying to cram your whole life story trying to move too fast and negative to make someone feel sorry for you.... but some of these people thinking im talking about one nighter.. or just having sex i was actually talking about period as well not just strictly on how to have sex with her.. im saying if you really like a girl and u truely want to be with her.... it goes both ways...

Where are all the trolls coming from these days? Was there a mass-ban at another forum and now they're trolling us? Hmmm...

-Teresa

SofiasMami said:

Where are all the trolls coming from these days? Was there a mass-ban at another forum and now they're trolling us? Hmmm...

-Teresa

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Maybe the elves have been fumigating under all the bridges, **hums** fol-de-roll

AnonymousMe said:

Geez, jayme89



Still though, and I know you’ll completely disagree with me, but I think you should have given him a few more chances, 3 at most. Yes, he told you about himself too fast, yes, he seemed desperate, yes he lacked confidence, but ALL of these things are common mistakes done by guys that have little to no experience in the dating department, especially if they’ve been alone for a very long time. You have to be patient with these guys and that’s the key word here: PATIENCE.

Click to expand...

I do agree with you and understand your point. But this is a much longer story then what I wrote. I've known him in total for 5 years. He has been pursuing me for five years. Ironically we knew each other in high school but he didn't start pursing me until the minute we graduated (which honestly leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. its very common for guys not to want to show public interest in me). Anyways, I was already off in college so we didn't actually date then. We spoke on the phone for years. I've heard these lack of confidence and self deprecating talks for YEARS before even sitting down at an official date with him. I told him (for years) what I did not like and that no woman would like the way he spoke about himself and that I would find him more attractive if he stopped. I told him if he started taking care of himself more physically that would help too. In my opinion I gave him an insane amount of chances. During the time where we were just talking on the phone I would stop talking to him for months and months at a time because he wasn't changing and I was so sick of it. And when I would talk to him again nothing changed. The only reason I went on a real date with him was because I thought things would be different in person, but they were only worse. For a woman to want to change or help a man, he has to 1) want to help himself and 2) she needs to feel a certain level of chemistry with him. she has to enjoy his company at a basic human level. None of this applied when it came to him. Now tell me this, if a woman you've been pursing for years gave you a basic guide book or game plan on how to win her over wouldn't you improve at some point?

jayme89 said:

I do agree with you and understand your point. But this is a much longer story then what I wrote. I've known him in total for 5 years. He has been pursuing me for five years. Ironically we knew each other in high school but he didn't start pursing me until the minute we graduated (which honestly leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. its very common for guys not to want to show public interest in me). Anyways, I was already off in college so we didn't actually date then. We spoke on the phone for years. I've heard these lack of confidence and self deprecating talks for YEARS before even sitting down at an official date with him. I told him (for years) what I did not like and that no woman would like the way he spoke about himself and that I would find him more attractive if he stopped. I told him if he started taking care of himself more physically that would help too. In my opinion I gave him an insane amount of chances. During the time where we were just talking on the phone I would stop talking to him for months and months at a time because he wasn't changing and I was so sick of it. And when I would talk to him again nothing changed. The only reason I went on a real date with him was because I thought things would be different in person, but they were only worse. For a woman to want to change or help a man, he has to 1) want to help himself and 2) she needs to feel a certain level of chemistry with him. she has to enjoy his company at a basic human level. None of this applied when it came to him. Now tell me this, if a woman you've been pursing for years gave you a basic guide book or game plan on how to win her over wouldn't you improve at some point?

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It seems like he wants your pity as a guarantee you won't leave him once you start dating (you'll feel bad about dumping him.) Sadly he feels this is his only card to play. Very undignified.

jayme89, I have to say, your posts offered a valuable insight on this problem. But I have a few questions for you:

First, when you said you felt no physical or intellectual chemistry, what did you mean? I know what you mean about the physical, but what does it mean to have intellectual chemistry? Is that just common interests, or making you laugh, or something else?

Also, as a woman, do you feel that your decision on a man is final? Or would you ever give a guy a second chance if he's proven that he really has changed into a new, genuinely attractive person? Perhaps you wouldn't give the particular guy you described a chance, but I just mean generally speaking.

jayme89 said:

AnonymousMe said:

Geez, jayme89



Still though, and I know you’ll completely disagree with me, but I think you should have given him a few more chances, 3 at most. Yes, he told you about himself too fast, yes, he seemed desperate, yes he lacked confidence, but ALL of these things are common mistakes done by guys that have little to no experience in the dating department, especially if they’ve been alone for a very long time. You have to be patient with these guys and that’s the key word here: PATIENCE.

Click to expand...

I do agree with you and understand your point. But this is a much longer story then what I wrote. I've known him in total for 5 years. He has been pursuing me for five years. Ironically we knew each other in high school but he didn't start pursing me until the minute we graduated (which honestly leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. its very common for guys not to want to show public interest in me). Anyways, I was already off in college so we didn't actually date then. We spoke on the phone for years. I've heard these lack of confidence and self deprecating talks for YEARS before even sitting down at an official date with him. I told him (for years) what I did not like and that no woman would like the way he spoke about himself and that I would find him more attractive if he stopped. I told him if he started taking care of himself more physically that would help too. In my opinion I gave him an insane amount of chances. During the time where we were just talking on the phone I would stop talking to him for months and months at a time because he wasn't changing and I was so sick of it. And when I would talk to him again nothing changed. The only reason I went on a real date with him was because I thought things would be different in person, but they were only worse. For a woman to want to change or help a man, he has to 1) want to help himself and 2) she needs to feel a certain level of chemistry with him. she has to enjoy his company at a basic human level. None of this applied when it came to him. Now tell me this, if a woman you've been pursing for years gave you a basic guide book or game plan on how to win her over wouldn't you improve at some point?

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Well, I can’t speak for every man out there, but I would certainly improve! It might make me look like a desperate guy (which, I’ve heard, it’s a BIG turn off for girls), but I would definitely NOT waste the chances a girl is giving me to be with her.

On the self-deprecating point - if a man - or woman keeps knocking themselves and going on and on about it, it is becomes very trying, and not endearingly self-deprecating.

After a bit it seems like attention seeking - constantly wanting someone to say 'no, you are not like that, you are wonderful really.'

I had a friend who used to do it a lot. It wasn't true, and I honestly wasn't sure that she really believed it. After a while I started to agree with her when she went on about how useless she was. She was really annoyed with me! And note I said I 'had' a friend like that.

She went and found someone else to listen to how she was fat, ugly, bad with people, hopeless at driving and on and on ... list too long to mention...

jaguarundi said:

After a bit it seems like attention seeking - constantly wanting someone to say 'no, you are not like that, you are wonderful really.'

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It is often like that. But sometimes it's just a habit, a go-to form of humour, or a way assuaging someone's anger for something you might have said or done.