Inviting a girl for dinner

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Spy

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Hi! A few days ago I invited a female friend for dinner. She accepted my invitation and the dinner is tomorrow.

It's a girl I have known for the last year and a half. We have seen each other for about twelve times and I find her very attractive but I know that she just want friendship and I'm also ok with that.

My question is about should we do apart dining? Do you have some suggestions of things we could do at my house after dinner? Things that she will find cool, interesting and funny?

Thanks for your help!
 
It's a while since I was a girl, so my advice is old fashioned. But one of the reasons why the old fashioned idea of watching a movie together really works is that it gives you something to talk about over dinner or coffee afterwards. And finding something to talk about is not to be taken lightly, especially for the shy.

What one person thinks of as cool or funny could well be weird or embarrassing for someone else, so watch out for that. You could of course ask her what she would like to do? 😸
 
I was thinking about watching a movie but I tought that she might think that I want to hit on her because we are only friends after all.
 
A movie sounds quite nice actually... I mean, nothing wrong with that, friends watch movies together too. And true what jag said, you could also ask her what she'd feel like doing as well and then talk about it with her.
 
Board games, but light, along the lines of backgammon, dominos, Scrabble, Yatzee, building a puzzle (that's a good one, get enough pieces and you have a reason for her to come back) heck, even checkers (but not chess). Nothing too taxing. You want something that's designed for two people that will permit you to chat while you're playing. Some card games work, too (not strip poker, okay?). Anybody can learn to play gin rummy in about three minutes, though. Again, light, easy, fun. Something that will give you the openings to converse. I guess even video games but IMO a video game is like hanging out with an interactive t.v., it almost becomes a third person in the evening. Becomes more competitive and aggressive, sometimes.

Movie, you're sitting there. There's no communication. You're inside your own heads. One of the reasons movies work well for dates is so you can't really talk so you have a reason to reach out and touch someone.
 
Do you have Xbox/ Playstation etc ?

When my daughter and boyfriend come to visit they bring the wii fit games.
They're so much fun and we have such a laugh playing bowling or tennis etc
The dance one is also great fun :)
That way you're not just sitting in silence watching a movie.
 
Spy said:
Hi! A few days ago I invited a female friend for dinner. She accepted my invitation and the dinner is tomorrow.

It's a girl I have known for the last year and a half. We have seen each other for about twelve times and I find her very attractive but I know that she just want friendship and I'm also ok with that.

My question is about should we do apart dining? Do you have some suggestions of things we could do at my house after dinner? Things that she will find cool, interesting and funny?

Thanks for your help!

How do you know she only wants friendship ?

I think female friends are okay to a point but it's not the same as a girlfriend. I would just ask her what she wants to do after your dinner. I wouldn't spend too much time thinking about it either. It's only dinner with a friend.
 
Annie Bodie said:
Board games, but light, along the lines of backgammon, dominos, Scrabble, Yatzee, building a puzzle (that's a good one, get enough pieces and you have a reason for her to come back) heck, even checkers (but not chess). Nothing too taxing. You want something that's designed for two people that will permit you to chat while you're playing. Some card games work, too (not strip poker, okay?). Anybody can learn to play gin rummy in about three minutes, though. Again, light, easy, fun. Something that will give you the openings to converse. I guess even video games but IMO a video game is like hanging out with an interactive t.v., it almost becomes a third person in the evening. Becomes more competitive and aggressive, sometimes.

Movie, you're sitting there. There's no communication. You're inside your own heads. One of the reasons movies work well for dates is so you can't really talk so you have a reason to reach out and touch someone.

This has been the best answer so far. If you were to do any kind of 'online' stuff I'd suggest finding out if there's any countries/cultures/activities she's passionate about and the two of you exploring them together. It'll show you're interested in her, maybe create a bit of a bond and you'll learn something new (which never sucks).

I'd suggest Naked Twister but I don't think that'd go over very well in this situation ;)
 
This might be a way to become more than friends. Show her you're really interested. You never know. Even if you've tried before and she seemed uninterested, try again. Never give up, as they say!
 
Hi everybody. Finally everything went very well. We had a lot of fun, we laughed a lot and I was surprised that she stayed this long with me.

What do you suggest to do next time to see if she seems interested?
 
Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Nothing wrong with doing dinner next time. If not... try coffee, a movie, go to a book store together... I don't know. Take a walk on the pier or in the park?
 
And what if I want to know if my female friend is interested in a romantic relationship with me?
 
Spy said:
And what if I want to know if my female friend is interested in a romantic relationship with me?

Ask her.

It's that simple.

You don't have to ask her right away, necessarily... but if she is looking for a relationship, then she's eventually going to wonder what's taking you so long and she'll get bored and find someone else.

I guess the cliche "rule of 3" still applies. If she's still willing to spend time with you on the 3rd meetup, then you need to ask her if she's interested in you romantically. And if she says no, then you could maybe still be friends, if you're both feeling that's a viable option.

Be honest about your intentions. Don't put it off. Chances are she'll respect you for it no matter what her answer is.
 
Hi guys! Finally there are some development about this story but first let me explain the history between me and this girl.

It's a girl I have met for the first time in summer 2012. We have seen each other for about twelve times and each time we have done some outdoor activities or went to the restaurant.

I am 43 and she is 27 but it doesn't seem to bother her too much. I find her very attractive, intelligent and funny and each time we see each others, we laugh, talk a lot and have fun. But, in summer 2012, after the third date, I invited her to do some camping. I was maybe too early to do camping after three dates. She then told me: "I think you are searching for something more". I don't know if she was talking about a serious relationship or sex but on my side I was interested in the serious relationship.

Then, we stopped seeing and communicating each others for about 6 months. Then, I sent her an email in February 2013 and asked her how she was doing. The conversation was very polite and a few weeks after I told her that I was going to a conference in her city in a few days. It could be fun if we go dinner together. We did and we saw each other a few times after that (outdoor activities mostly).

Then, last September, I asked her if she would accept to come with me to my brother's wedding. She accepted but said that she was seeing someone already so she would come only as a friend. At the wedding, she was perfect. We laughed, had fun and eventually dance.

A few months after, just before Christmas, she broke with her ex. In the mid of February, I was feeling down so she invited me to the restaurant to talk about it. I opened myself (probably a mistake) and said that at 43 years old I didn't know what to do next as a career ... She was very helpful that evening and eventually my little depression stopped and I regain confidence in the future.

A few weeks after, I invited her at my home for dinner. It was Mars 29th. Again, we laughed, drank a lot more than expected (especially for her) and had fun playing board games and table hockey game. On this evening, she was a lot more easygoing and laughing than usual. She arrived at my house at 5h15 and left at 11h45. Normally she is not the kind of girl that leave that late. At least, not with me. After that date, a few members on this forum said that I probably missed my chance with her because I didn't make a move toward her. During this evening, she made me at least ten different compliments. I just made a list and I remember receiving compliment about the dessert I served, the meal I cooked, the table hockey game that she liked, the other board game, my little training room that she found very cool, my home decoration, the vine I served and a few more. Normally she never compliment too much.

Last week I invited her to do some hiking tomorrow but she replied that she was doing a rock climbing course tomorrow so it would be impossible for her. And she added a at the end of her phrase.

And last Saturday, I just sent her an email saying that it's lobster time and asked her when she was available to have a lobster dinner together and for her to have a revenge on my table hockey game.

She answered me 20 minutes later saying that she was thinking of me the day before because she wanted to call me for eventually planning to do something together. She just told me if I am available for friday night.

So as you see, all the times we have seen each other was for doing outdoor activities mostly except the last date and the one next friday.

What I am sure is that she really wants to see me again. The other thing I think is that if she is interested in me and I don't make a move, she's going to go after another one.

That's where I am right now! It's not dead until it's dead. So maybe there is hope. But this time, I should make a move ... for a kiss eventually. What do you think I should do? Do you think she seems interested in me?
 

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