Just can't stand this feeling

Hey there, so I'm new to these forums, but I guess I just wanted to post a thread here. To vent and maybe just get some advice maybe if there is any out there. So, my back story is.. I moved to toronto for schooling and am feeling quite lonely here. I have no friends, and no one to really talk to except for a girl I met online awhile ago. Her and I are great friends, in fact.. past that. We met up a lot during the summer and hung out and got very close with each other. Problem is, we can't date. The distance is too much and we can never see each other over the school year, just doesn't work out. But we keep in touch and talk everyday anyways.

We've always made a promise to each other to just go do what we want to do in life. Date people if the chance arises, and just go have fun. And that's exactly what she's doing. I just can't seem to find that thing that I want to do though, which is the problem. She has a boyfriend now and has for the past month or so. And I just try to be a good friend and root for the girl. She seems to be happy with this fellow, so I just keep quiet despite how I feel about the whole situation. Normally I wouldn't care, but it hurts to hear about all the sex those two have. Really rips at my inner self. Creates this negative voice, and I just hate hearing it.

Whenever her and I talk (which is every night over skype). I just lay there, feeling so alone. Feeling like I no longer have a person to connect to. It really bums me out. I know that in life, the only way to be truly happy is to love yourself. And I do for the most part, but I guess I'm more focused on love and friendship, because I just don't have those things right now. I've tried going out and just meeting new people. Went to a bar once and just felt way to shy to even move to talk to anyone. I've almost lost the urge to even attempt to talk to people. I fear rejection, despite how much I've had it in my life. It's holds me back from doing so much.

Anyways, my feeling now is that I just want to get her out of my life.. but she's such a good friend, that I just feel I'd regret it later. Even though she's dating this guy, our friendship hasn't changed. It's just made me feel bitter towards the fact she is with someone. Imy sure theres really no good answer or advice to this, but at least writing down my thoughts brings a little peace of mind.

So, thanks for reading if you happened to do so.

I can relate a but to this. Similar situation with one of my exes. It's not really left over feelings or jealousy for me. Honestly she's the one that gets all defensive and upset whenever I bring up other women and my own love life. I could care less about whether she's dating someone or not. I just can't relate to her anymore. We can still hang out and have a lot of fun and are still really good friends. But, whenever I listen to the things she's going through or she's telling me about some relationship or life events, I just can't really relate at all.

Then I feel more lonely because, just like you, I no longer have a person that I can connect with. If I met her today, we probably wouldn't even end up being friends but at this point she's grandfathered in.

I'm not quite sure how to deal with this. Ivery always subscribed to the idea that searching for love is hopeless. I like to let thing fall in line, because eventually they dom but unfortunately, with the situation I'm facing it's becoming more and more difficult to ignore that I just want to find a girl for my own. One that is beside me and isn't 900 miles away. I'm just feeling to shy, I suppose.

This is tough for you, but if this girl is still wanting you as a friend, then it seems she has enough love in her (and I don't mean the romantic kind) to share.

The more you love, the more you have to share with others, at least I think so.

Don't go to bars to talk to people, find something else where people meet with a shared purpose, perhaps volunteer work (animal shelter, community garden, whatever) or film club, photography club, exercise or dance class - or an adult education course, like learning a new language. You will be around people, have a chance to do something and even if you don't make strong friendships you will be doing something useful, by getting out of your head a bit.

Thanks guys, i really appreciate the advice.

I don't mean to sound creepy but like jaguarundi said, one nice place to meet someone might be a dance class... Look up "Argentine tango" or "bachata"... Those can be very intimate... I took Argentine tango for few years & loved it... I'm in the process of finding class for bachata...

Welcome to the site.