How do you avoid people you don't wanna talk to?

I ran into someone today I really didn't wanna see... I was at work & on my way outside to grab a cigarette for a short break... I was going out, he was coming in... He stopped & asked me few questions & quite frankly, I felt as though I was put on a spot... I was at work so I couldn't really walk away or ignore him... He's older than I am & he's part of a group that I used to be a part of but I no longer want to belong to... He was asking me why I haven't come around lately & he said he even tried calling me but my phone number has been changed... Don't get me wrong, he's one of the nicest person in the world... If the situation was different & if I wasn't at work, I would've told him honestly... I just didn't feel right saying something to him at work... How would you have handled it?

Okay...I don't get why you don't want to talk to this guy if he's one of the nicest people in the world? You can still talk to people but not be part of their world. I guess you can always tell him you are going through some stuff and need to make changes to your life, part of that is keeping work and personal separate for now.

^ good advice.

You haven't said why you don't want to be around this group any more, particularly if this guy is, as you say, a nice bloke.

But lets postulate that the group to which he belongs is the slacker's group or the stoner's group or some other bunch non-helpful to your future, your work, health - or whatever.

It might be a good idea to find an opportunity outside of your job to explain that you have different priorities now, and that is why you won't be in touch. That way you can avoid future embarrassment if you see him in a work context again.

I probably would have said something along the lines of "yeah. We should be catching up. At the moment, I'm stuck having to get back to X/Y/Z in the office... I've got like 2 mins to grab a smoke out here. I tell you what, are you free at the weekend? We can have a proper catch up then. Coffee? Drinks?" And then just hastily arrange something, keeping the emphasis on 'I don't have time to talk right now. But I do want to talk to you.'

Usually that approach will work... though you might have to give him your new number as a result. *shrugs*

Personally I would've been honest and said that I cant talk at the moment. If you're willing to meet up, why not. Say you'll talk later and catch up. If you don't like the guy then just be like yeah nope...i got stuff to do and i'm not really very social.

What Nightwing said. Other than that, fake phone call app???? Just kidding...sort of.

You need to take your balls out of your purse and be more assertive. Tell him you don't want to see him again. I'm blunt and do these sorts of things all the time. You may come off as rude, but it works. Why would you avoid telling him the truth at work?

Buy this shirt and point to it in said situations:



When I'm put on the spot I just go along with it and flake out of meetings until they get the message. Otherwise I switch my phone off and avoid places where I'll be spoken to.

I'm not getting this...you folks have to actively avoid people? It just seems to happen to me so naturally!

This happens to me a lot, a lot of people seem to avoid me. However in person if I'm put in a awkward situation, I usually tell people that I haven't been in the mood lately to talk to anyone which is the truth. Just be honest and speak you're mind. It can be seriously weird especially if you're working cause you don't want to be rude or say the wrong thing. Just tell them you'll catch up with them in a few days and you'll fully explain to them what's been going on.

do like the lady who was rude to me today, just look through them like they were invisible, even if they are in front of you looking at you and waving at you, it works very well - I am not going to seek that lady's company ever again for sure

You can cut a conversation short by providing short answers and not asking questions. I just recently met an estranged friend when I was hoping to enjoy my time alone at a show and this helped.

painter said:

Buy this shirt and point to it in said situations:

When I'm put on the spot I just go along with it and flake out of meetings until they get the message. Otherwise I switch my phone off and avoid places where I'll be spoken to.

Click to expand...

Haha, I love that. Fantastic.

Seriously though, ask them if they can check a festering blister on your back. Start to lift your shirt a little as you ask them, and I can almost guarantee they'll back off.

I would probably avoid answering the question, and instead ask a question about the other.

Rosebolt said:

I would probably avoid answering the question, and instead ask a question about the other.

Click to expand...

Completely un-related comment, I like your picture, the all seeing eye...

Oh, and I don't mean the comment you made was un-related... I meant comment I was about to make, about your avatar, was un-related...

Good question. I have asked this from myself lately, about one person in real life. I would be honest and tell that not being in the "mood" to talk in the specific moment.