I end up with disrespectful people. Advice?

I would like to randomly ask this forum:

I was just reviewing my correspondence in Facebook and realized that wast majority of people I know is not sincere to me and I would say either look down to me or does not trust me.

On the other hand I must say that as a person I am not quite a pleasant personality. The reason is simple that I don't feel good inside and people feel it. I understand that my company is not the best to spend time with and also socially I am quite unpopular so there are no many benefits.

Now I wonder what to do. I won't change that I know for sure ( to be precise: I can not). Sometimes I feel lonely so sometimes I try to talk to some of them... what might be mistake. Fortunately I have my hobbies so I don't have to do that.

I left most of the people I knew in the past for this reason. At this moment I have almost no friends.

I don't know... Ideas?

I'm curious why you say you can't change. That would indicate that you are physically incapable of doing so....I don't buy that. Everyone is capable of change, most people just don't want to or are afraid to.

As to the disrespect. You say you aren't a pleasant person in terms of personality, could you possible be disrespectful to others without realizing it? Either way, it really boils down to what you allow. If they disrespect you and you say nothing, they will likely think it's okay and you don't have a problem with it.
Trust needs to be earned, IMO....have you shown them that you can be trusted?

Maybe you need to find a new group of people to hang out with. And delete or say something to the people that are disrespectful to you.

I don't feel good inside and people feel it

This.


You said you do not feel good inside. Which might be true. I have quite some similar things going on. The fact is, when you do not feel good inside, you will react differently towards people (most of the time). Nowadays, peop-le are used to see happy faces. Most people do not have very much social troubles (at least - from my experience). Quite a few people just do not know how to handle with anything different that what they are used to and that may be why they avoid you or ignore you, or something along those lines.

As for ideas: Well, I do believe that it is possible to change, however, it is hard. I myself experience difficulty when I try to change as to how I react towards people, or to change my outlook on life, for example. (I tend to be quite negative). Maybe you should spend some more time evaluating yourself or you could seek help if you do not feel good inside.


I know this is easy for me to type, - believe me - but it might be worth it to just evaluate yourself, your behavior, etc. I do not imply that a problem lies with you, or that the evaluaton should only be done on your part - others may have problems, etc as well - but evaluating yourself would maybe give you a start, a place to begin to look.

Do not take this the wrong way, I am not very good at expressing what I try to say, but I hope this helps you somehow.

Vin:

well yes. The question is now isn't if it's possible (it is) but if I want. I did this stuff like evaluating, analyzing, trying this and that many times, painful work with little results. On the other hand under some different circumstances that I will not talk about things improved themselves.

My idea is simple: whether we like it or not, we are not build for everything. Some are bad sportsman, some are bad with math and quite a lot of people find difficult to socialize. Is it really worth to solve this issues? Maybe I can work on different challenges: I am building my business, so instead of gathering friendship and trust I can build up power and respect. I will always feel at least a little sad and empty but in the other hand satisfied with achievements. Oh and I love Don Corleone too. The idea I am acting like him... makes me feel happy. Anyway I just hired one coach ( for free . coachmefree.com) so I am curious what he will tell.

Family is a different story. I am determined to build a happy family no matter what obstacle.

Peter.EU said:

Anyway I just hired one coach ( for free . coachmefree.com) so I am curious what he will tell.

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brilliant! just registered

glad I could help.

Yes. One of my spiritual books talks about this. How people treat you the way you treat yourself. It says if you disrespect yourself on the inside others will mirror that and any other emotion.

The book is called "Personal Power Thru Awareness" by Sanaya Roman. It is chock full of this information. I recommend it highly.

If this is the case, and I believe it is because I suffer from the same thing although for me it's lack of appreciation, the goal for you is to treat yourself better. Self talk to yourself better, respect yourself.

You should focus to real life and leave spirits be. That would help for sure in this case.

At the moment I'm suffering with this too, I don't disrespect people however but I know that I don't feel good inside and many people pick up on it and don't know how to handle it or don't know what to say to me. Whenever I'm depressed or down, I chose not to talk to people cause I don't want to burden people with my problems. Currently am seeing a therapist and she's trying to get me passed certain things that has happened to me. I'll change over time and it's very scary to me but I want to get better, I want to feel better about myself. You may continue to keep falling down and feeling horrible about yourself, but continue to keep picking yourself up and working on yourself. I know seeing a therapist may make you nervous but trust me it'll help you out in the long run. Overtime people will see how you've change and will want to talk to you and you may make new friends along the way. It's been hard for me to accept how people change and how many people just don't know what to say cause they simply don't understand. Continue to hang in there.

You shouldn't surround yourself with toxic people, if they don't understand you or respect you or your needs, they aren't worth having around. I don't know if its just me, but I'd rather be alone than to feel alone when I'm with others.


If you're struggling with something, friends should try to help you out not withdrawn from you and treat you differently. They don't have to be a trained counsellor to be decent towards someone who is hurting.

Peter.EU said:

You should focus to real life and leave spirits be. That would help for sure in this case.

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I'm not sure if you knew, but that right there is your problem.

Everyone have their opinion, but you shove yours down people's throats instead of talking about opinions.