And I meant it more than I admit. My friend called the police, and they had to take me to a hospital so I wouldn't actually do anything to harm myself.
I do believe that I'm alone in the world now. I've met some kind people here, but it's not likely I'll ever meet any of you in person. But I appreciate everything, really.
Don't worry -- this is not another suicide threat. But I'm in huge need of tenderness right now. I do feel like the world is better off without me. I don't have anything to offer anyone. I'm without love.
My heart just literally started aching as I typed the last sentence. I just -- I realized that I have no one. I want to give up, completely. I hurt too deeply, and I just can't take it anymore.
Recently, all the mistakes that I've ever made have come crashing back on me. I've been reminded about what a horrible pollutant I am upon the world. I'll never have any friends that I can hold onto. I'll never have someone who loves me romantically. And my mom, the only person who can help me, may honestly not be around for much longer. I don't know how to talk to her about any of this, and honestly I don't have the energy.
Many of you will read this post and see that I'm being vague. It's very true, but I'm just so out of energy. And I'm so embarrassed about how much of a worthless human being I am. There's nothing left in my heart. Nothing.
And I know I'm being very, very pessimistic. But I do just want to shut myself away from the world. No one would come to visit me anyway. The people who have pretended to be my friends don't actually give a half-ounce of honeysuckle about me.
Anyway -- here I am again. It's a weird experience to be drawn into my world, so I'm sorry for bringing my suffering on all of you like this. But I need to reach out. I don't know how to continue, except that once again this is not a suicide threat, but I want to just drop everything and accept that I'm not going to be happy. I want to just embrace my heartbreak now and just feel the emptiness and cry.
However, hugs are always great. Thanks again.
I do believe that I'm alone in the world now. I've met some kind people here, but it's not likely I'll ever meet any of you in person. But I appreciate everything, really.
Don't worry -- this is not another suicide threat. But I'm in huge need of tenderness right now. I do feel like the world is better off without me. I don't have anything to offer anyone. I'm without love.
My heart just literally started aching as I typed the last sentence. I just -- I realized that I have no one. I want to give up, completely. I hurt too deeply, and I just can't take it anymore.
Recently, all the mistakes that I've ever made have come crashing back on me. I've been reminded about what a horrible pollutant I am upon the world. I'll never have any friends that I can hold onto. I'll never have someone who loves me romantically. And my mom, the only person who can help me, may honestly not be around for much longer. I don't know how to talk to her about any of this, and honestly I don't have the energy.
Many of you will read this post and see that I'm being vague. It's very true, but I'm just so out of energy. And I'm so embarrassed about how much of a worthless human being I am. There's nothing left in my heart. Nothing.
And I know I'm being very, very pessimistic. But I do just want to shut myself away from the world. No one would come to visit me anyway. The people who have pretended to be my friends don't actually give a half-ounce of honeysuckle about me.
Anyway -- here I am again. It's a weird experience to be drawn into my world, so I'm sorry for bringing my suffering on all of you like this. But I need to reach out. I don't know how to continue, except that once again this is not a suicide threat, but I want to just drop everything and accept that I'm not going to be happy. I want to just embrace my heartbreak now and just feel the emptiness and cry.
However, hugs are always great. Thanks again.