Your First real relationship ?

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First relationship...
In the beginning I felt great. He put a lot of emphasis on reminding me how I "saved" him, and how he loved spending time with me. There were a few moments where I should have ran fast, but I always felt good being there and serving a purpose to him (I was really selfish and just wanted to be something to someone).
It took me 3 years to realize it was unhealthy. Even after being hit physically and emotionally, and realizing he wouldn't stick around for his kids. Lots of mistakes.
 
Lukewarm feelings... incredibly pushy guy... awkward moments with religious family... firsts are way overrated.
 
JustSomeGal said:
First relationship...
In the beginning I felt great. He put a lot of emphasis on reminding me how I "saved" him, and how he loved spending time with me. There were a few moments where I should have ran fast, but I always felt good being there and serving a purpose to him (I was really selfish and just wanted to be something to someone).
It took me 3 years to realize it was unhealthy. Even after being hit physically and emotionally, and realizing he wouldn't stick around for his kids. Lots of mistakes.

just the fact you stayed while he hit you is beyond a mistake... in my opinion
 
My first real relationship was a happy one, we been together for almost 4 years. My life was happy, but now I'm become anti-social, and well, being an anti social makes you sad, and lonely, but the more you think about it the more you will avoid anyone. The paranoid feelings is there, and it's haunting me. Perhaps the reason why I've been like this now is because of my break up with her. I had everything I needed with her and we broke up because she went to study overseas, and I did too, in separate country(Australia and Netherlands). Then I did something really stupid that made her hates me for life, and now she won't even look or talk at me, she'd rather slam the door in front of my face than to talk to me. Guess I deserve it.
 
Tealeaf said:
Lukewarm feelings... incredibly pushy guy... awkward moments with religious family... firsts are way overrated.

well thats good religious family i respect them very well..i dated a girl who family who was very religious and judgemental but i had no problem with that just for the fact most of the times they know what's best for the daughter even if she is happy at the moment ....


NeverSunset said:
My first real relationship was a happy one, we been together for almost 4 years. My life was happy, but now I'm become anti-social, and well, being an anti social makes you sad, and lonely, but the more you think about it the more you will avoid anyone. The paranoid feelings is there, and it's haunting me. Perhaps the reason why I've been like this now is because of my break up with her. I had everything I needed with her and we broke up because she went to study overseas, and I did too, in separate country(Australia and Netherlands). Then I did something really stupid that made her hates me for life, and now she won't even look or talk at me, she'd rather slam the door in front of my face than to talk to me. Guess I deserve it.

honestly its easy to break up of the stages of being anti social.... just talk and not care what anyone thinks of you be your self.... whats the worse thing that can happen ? a little embarrassment ? dont let that damage you
 
I was about 16-18, she was one year younger I think. Friend of a friend. Beautiful girl - white mother black father, slightly big-boned but not fat. Cute and cheeky. We went to a lot of parties, took a lot of drugs, had so many friends and good times. We were both from small towns in the countryside but she wanted to move to the city where her older sister was (who was a very nasty piece of work, not just to me for doin it with her sister but to many people), a city and crowd which I didn't really want anything to do with. I considered moving with her but I knew I wouldn't like it there.

So during her last couple of weeks here we decide to just enjoy the time left together... then she phones me and says she is "seeing" one of our mutual friends. I was incredibly hurt and disgusted at how selfish she could be, having a casual fling with someone in our circle of friends right before she moves away. It made the remaining weeks of her being around a complete Hell for me, the first girl I really loved, the girl I lost my virginity to, seeing them together without a thought given to how it made me feel.

Met her online and in real life a few years later and didn't recognise her, emotionally. She had turned into a very pushy and demanding monster, learned a lot of daft city lingo and was quite rude to everyone around her, much like her older sister. Where had the delightful country bumpkin that I once cared for so much disappeared to? The pretentious, bad attitude city life had consumed her. Ah well. The times we had were good.
 
i've never been in a relationship before. social anxiety mixed with low self esteem kinda does that to oneself. i've had my share of crushes and dates, but nothing really stuck for me.
 
My first was kinda similar to JSG's above but slightly different where there were no kids involved and it was 5-years long.

In my heart I know that he had always been a good person with a good heart, in the beginning it was really nice and sweet and beautiful but as we really really got so close (honestly, I think we spent way too much time together that it was getting a bit toxic) and that kinda created friction so much between us and our personalities that it became emotionally abusive which later on became physical abuse, it truly did scare the honeysuckle out of me but I was in a totally different mindset and place then so getting out of the relationship wasn't an option that I saw would do me any good.

But I hung on. For 5 years. Because in my head, when you love someone, you stick to them through thick and thin. I was blinded by the fact that those rough moments were not something anyone should stick to, whether you love the other person or not, I should not have allowed myself to go through with it.

It was a learning experience at least. A tough one.
 
Currently a work in progress. I have one very hopeful prospect right now. Just hoping it won't end in the same disappointment and heartbreak I've felt in the past.
 
Blossomforth said:
i've never been in a relationship before. social anxiety mixed with low self esteem kinda does that to oneself. i've had my share of crushes and dates, but nothing really stuck for me.

that about sums it up for me

ladyforsaken said:
But I hung on. For 5 years. Because in my head, when you love someone, you stick to them through thick and thin. I was blinded by the fact that those rough moments were not something anyone should stick to, whether you love the other person or not, I should not have allowed myself to go through with it.

It was a learning experience at least. A tough one.

sorry you had to have a 5 year long learning experience.
 
wasn't great. I was 27. Met her by answering a lonely hearts advert in the paper.
first date was bizarre (she had a panic attack) and wandered off, third date she was all over me, fourth date she was picking at me with petty criticisms
I finished with her after a month. Found out she lied about everything. She was seeing somebody else as well.
I thought 'thank god for that'
 
My first relationship.
Lasted 6 months (P.S: my longest, as all of my relationships got shorter and shorter until I had no further relationships after I had a one month relationship:D) , I was 14-15 years old. She was a nice girl, but we didnt really fit. I dont know about why she was with me, but looking back, I know I have been with her because I could say that I´m with someone in front of friends. Not bragging, just to look like a "cool kid". Yes, I was, maybe still am, that shallow. What I mean to say is, I had no real feelings for her. I liked her, I give you that, but I like random people as well.
I was bit "naive child romantic:D" as to say, making hearts, bringing small gifts etc.., and we kissed:p :D But the relationship never progressed, as you know what a 15 y/o boy is thinking. It doesnt mean I dumper her because she wouldnt "put out", but looking back, who knows what I would have done if it were different.

I hope that she is happy wherever she is:)
 
ardour said:
ladyforsaken said:
But I hung on. For 5 years. Because in my head, when you love someone, you stick to them through thick and thin. I was blinded by the fact that those rough moments were not something anyone should stick to, whether you love the other person or not, I should not have allowed myself to go through with it.

It was a learning experience at least. A tough one.

sorry you had to have a 5 year long learning experience.

Thanks, ardour. It made me a better person at least. :)
 
"being single isn't a status. it's a word that describes a person who's strong enough to enjoy life without depending on others"

that about sums it up for me.
 
Blossomforth said:
i've never been in a relationship before. social anxiety mixed with low self esteem kinda does that to oneself. i've had my share of crushes and dates, but nothing really stuck for me.

social anxiety and low self esteem has nothing to with it... your not the only in one in the world who suffers from it, people still have relationship through it all.... its not that hard... just speak up.... they have all type of dating sites... all type of places where people can nicely be social you have clubs where no one judges you because their all there to have fun you cant use the excuse " i feel ugly " nowadays people like ugly people anywayz
 
daddymack said:
Blossomforth said:
i've never been in a relationship before. social anxiety mixed with low self esteem kinda does that to oneself. i've had my share of crushes and dates, but nothing really stuck for me.

social anxiety and low self esteem has nothing to with it... your not the only in one in the world who suffers from it, people still have relationship through it all.... its not that hard... just speak up.... they have all type of dating sites... all type of places where people can nicely be social you have clubs where no one judges you because their all there to have fun you cant use the excuse " i feel ugly " nowadays people like ugly people anywayz

Well, social anxiety can make it really difficult to approach other people. So it can prevent you from making friends or finding a partner. It is not as easy as "just speak up".

And to answer the question of the thread: I didn't have a relationship so far.
 
daddymack said:
social anxiety and low self esteem has nothing to with it... your not the only in one in the world who suffers from it, people still have relationship through it all.... its not that hard... just speak up.... they have all type of dating sites... all type of places where people can nicely be social you have clubs where no one judges you because their all there to have fun you cant use the excuse " i feel ugly " nowadays people like ugly people anywayz

it should be called relational anxiety - extends to more than social situations or getting-to-know-you chat. Low self-image makes it difficult to function in a close relationship with someone; the awkwardness of being that close, the fear of being dumped and having all the negative ideas about yourself confirmed.
 

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