Girl said yes to date..Feel lost

So last time I posted it was about a girl that seemed, from what I could gather, pretty compatible with me..To keep it short it did not work out, she did not give me even a slight chance..so I obviously was a bit crushed, but thanks to the advice you guys gave me and time, I got over it..

So now their is another girl, but this is a completely different story when compared to the last girl. The obvious diferences are that I have met her in real life, she talks to me, responds to my text and seems real nice towards me..One day I suggested we should do something to get to know each other better and she said yes..We didn't set an exact day to go out on this date..This is were my problem starts.

This girl is highly social/extroverted, I on the other hand am the complete opposite avoidant/SAD/introverted..Just so you get an idea I have never gone out on a date, never had a gf, no kiss the works lol..But still something that bothers me even more is I am completely lost on everything..I don't know how to get/drive to most popular places one would go to on a date, since I never had a social life were I would have learned the ropes on getting to the places and how to act in them..Another thing is I have not gone to the movies,beach, restaurants etc. in years so even basic things like that I have forgotten what to do in them, I don't even own a bathing suit haha. I am an extreme homebody I only go out for necessary things like job interviews for example, everything else I avoid. Because of this all I see is an embarassing moment waiting to happen..First the possibility of getting lost, then not knowing how to act in the place we decide to go to..I just don't want to make a bad impression on this girl and she will obviously know everything about the social scene and places and will catch up if I start messing up..I want to be confident and know what i'm doing..

Of course I can learn to get to a specific place before our first date and hope the plans don't change lol...

I have not told her what we are going to do or what she would like to do..What are some good first date places for a person in my situation? In other words a place where it is less likely I will screw up..after you guys give me the advice, I will ask her if she would like to do that and if she replies yes, then I will assess the situation and learn to get there and what to do on said place...

It's funny that the social/popular girls are the ones that give me the chance, while the more laid back ones blow me off lol, Christ..

Thanks in advanced!

man of one said:

I don't know how to get/drive to most popular places one would go to on a date,

Click to expand...

She'd probably get to know you a little better if you took her someplace you do know and regularly go to, don't you think?

murmi97 said:

man of one said:

I don't know how to get/drive to most popular places one would go to on a date,

Click to expand...

She'd probably get to know you a little better if you took her someplace you do know and regularly go to, don't you think?

Click to expand...

Problem is in my town(place I know) there is not much to do nor is it a hot spot for a first date..So people usually go to the metro area where there are alot more things to do and if we go out it would most likely end up being in a place in this area. For me this part is confusing since I rarely go there for anything(especially to social places), That is why I said I didn't know how to get to the popular spots...

As stated i'm a homebody, I don't regularly go anywhere so I don't have a comfort place outside my house...Going out in general, on dates and socializing regularly would be a first and completely new thing for me.

Thanks

If I were you I'd just roll the dice - (probably because I'd be too excited to think of anything at all but.. let's leave that out of this discussion now shall we?)

Just because she's extroverted doesn't mean you have to know every popular spot in town.Different people have different lives.

I think the key thing when you go on a date is NOT the place but how the date itself goes.You can just find someplace that you're kinda comfortable in and roll with it.

What matters most is the conversation.You can sit on a bench in some random park or go to a really expensive restaurant and eat the best food in the world but that's not what's gonna score the next date for you.If you can get it going - awesome.Some people just click and can talk for hours and hours.Doesn't matter where they are or what they're doing.

And don't worry too much about it.That's usually what ruins otherwise good dates OR relationships.Try to be more positive about it.After all, you don't know this girl and she doesn't know you (yet) - I see you have social anxiety (that's what you meant by SAD right?) - we don't get to choose much.I wish I could make things better without having to change my whole life.

I'm happy for you man.There isn't much advice I can give because I certainly don't know the girl.But what matters is the conversation keeps flowing,you two click and you keep your cool.And you can do it.

Be upfront and tell her that you are on the quiet side and don't go out much and ask if she could suggest somewhere nice you could meet up.

---

On the positive side, as she is outgoing she will probably do a lot of the talking, so you won't be burdened by being expected to 'entertain' her.

It doesn't have to be a 'hot spot' does it? For this first date at least, stay within your comfort zone.

You could meet somewhere quiet for a meal or a drink. Or go to the cinema, where the pressure of making conversation would be taken off you for a bit..

Or would she be able to go to yours and you could make her a meal?

Baby steps are important, and there's nothing wrong with them.

Oh, and I hope you have a good time. This is exciting stuff that we old marrieds don't get to do anymore

Thanks you so much to everyone who gave me advice, I feel alot better reading what you guys wrote to help me out alongside the encouragement and since I don't really have any close friends this means alot..

All of the advices were great..everyone of them had something that I can definitely focus on:

1) Conversation and connection with girl is more important than being popular or knowing where and how to act in all the "hip" places.

2)Try to tell her how I truly am and maybe she will accept that and help me come out of my shell.

3)Keep it simple first date..No clubs or bars/hot spots(those are way out of my comfort zone atm)

Again thank you all, I will ask her out with an established date and see what plans we come up with..wish me luck!

That sounds great! Good luck.

Welcome to the world of dating m.o.o. The worst thing a person can do is put pressure on themselves thinking they've gotta make that first date all about making some kind of unrealistic impression. The majority of people are on their best behaviour so while you get a pretty good impression of them it takes awhile to really get to know them.

Picking a venue you can be comfortable in and be yourself is more important than trying to give some kind of 'wow' impression with something trendy and busy. If that's not who you are don't go that route. Quieter places give you that chance to talk and be somewhat relaxed since you're not much of a social mixer. Some of the best dates I've had have been simple walks through parks, the forest, or interesting, older areas of towns followed by a light lunch/picnic outside if the weather allows. If you've got any kind of cooking skills this'll give you a bit of an edge- your putting effort into preparing something before the date doesn't go unnoticed (ask about food allergies and dislikes in advance- it doesn't spoil the surprise, it builds anticipation).

Whatever you choose to do go into it with the intention of having fun.

Yes Good luck, and beeeeeeee yourself!.
Hope it goes well for you. You would be suprised how many girls like it when someone is nervous and shy