Do some people revel in the "martyrdom" of loneliness?

Do some individuals wear their loneliness proudly on their sleeves, almost to the point of "bragging' about it? Do they believe that their "loner status" proves something about themselves? You know, the old "well it is just that everyone else these days is so shallow / stupid / materialistic / cruel /selfish/immature, and I am not. That is why I don't have any friends, etc." rationale.

Courtesy of Dr. Wirth: "Some lonely and socially awkward people are really insecure and self-effacing and feel like they're detestable nobodies. I've noticed a tendency for other people to have a different attitude, where they see themselves as a bit above everyone else. There are two sides to this mentality. One is thinking there's something about you that makes you superior to other people. You think you're smarter, deeper, different, or that you have more evolved beliefs and priorities than them. The other side is seeing everyone else as having a bunch of negative traits, that they're dumb, immature, sex-obsessed, shallow, and selfish. The result is you feel like you can't relate to other people, that you're cut off from them, and like you're misunderstood and forced to walk your own lonely path through life. People of this view often look down upon certain aspects of popular culture (such as reality tv, celebrity gossip, the excessive consumption of alcohol, and hyper-promiscuity/hookup/party culture), viewing themselves as both apart from AND ABOVE individuals who regularly engage in said activities. This type of loner often views himself or herself as a brilliant/cultured/highly-evolved martyr, unfairly victimized by an indifferent, shallow, sex-obsessed and materialistic society. They often arrive at the point where they seem to take joy in playing the role of martyr, freely sharing their "loner exploits" with anyone who will listen."

Kxty33 said:

Courtesy of Dr. Wirth: "Some lonely and socially awkward people are really insecure and self-effacing and feel like they're detestable nobodies. I've noticed a tendency for other people to have a different attitude, where they see themselves as a bit above everyone else. There are two sides to this mentality. One is thinking there's something about you that makes you superior to other people. You think you're smarter, deeper, different, or that you have more evolved beliefs and priorities than them. The other side is seeing everyone else as having a bunch of negative traits, that they're dumb, shallow, and selfish. The result is you feel like you can't relate to other people, that you're cut off from them, and like you're misunderstood and forced to walk your own path through life. People of this view often look down upon certain aspects of popular culture (such as reality tv, celebrity gossip and drinking alcohol to excess while out partying), viewing themselves as both apart AND ABOVE individuals who engage in said activities. This type of loner often views himself or herself as a brilliant/cultured martyr, unfairly victimized by an indifferent, shallow and materialistic society. They often arrive at the point where they seem to take joy in playing the role of martyr, freely sharing their "loner exploits" with anyone who will listen."

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Ugh. I didn't read the above glob of underlined and bolded and italicized text. It hurt my eyes.

As for the question, I will say, yes. I'm sure some people do.

I don't know.
But I sure as hell think this thread is going to explode and i'm just going to take a back seat and watch

Case said:

Kxty33 said:

Courtesy of Dr. Wirth: "Some lonely and socially awkward people are really insecure and self-effacing and feel like they're detestable nobodies. I've noticed a tendency for other people to have a different attitude, where they see themselves as a bit above everyone else. There are two sides to this mentality. One is thinking there's something about you that makes you superior to other people. You think you're smarter, deeper, different, or that you have more evolved beliefs and priorities than them. The other side is seeing everyone else as having a bunch of negative traits, that they're dumb, shallow, and selfish. The result is you feel like you can't relate to other people, that you're cut off from them, and like you're misunderstood and forced to walk your own path through life. People of this view often look down upon certain aspects of popular culture (such as reality tv, celebrity gossip and drinking alcohol to excess while out partying), viewing themselves as both apart AND ABOVE individuals who engage in said activities. This type of loner often views himself or herself as a brilliant/cultured martyr, unfairly victimized by an indifferent, shallow and materialistic society. They often arrive at the point where they seem to take joy in playing the role of martyr, freely sharing their "loner exploits" with anyone who will listen."

Click to expand...

Ugh. I didn't read the above glob of underlined and bolded and italicized text. It hurt my eyes.

As for the question, I will say, yes. I'm sure some people do.

Click to expand...

perhaps you need a new pair of eyes.

Kxty33 said:

Case said:

Kxty33 said:

Courtesy of Dr. Wirth: "Some lonely and socially awkward people are really insecure and self-effacing and feel like they're detestable nobodies. I've noticed a tendency for other people to have a different attitude, where they see themselves as a bit above everyone else. There are two sides to this mentality. One is thinking there's something about you that makes you superior to other people. You think you're smarter, deeper, different, or that you have more evolved beliefs and priorities than them. The other side is seeing everyone else as having a bunch of negative traits, that they're dumb, shallow, and selfish. The result is you feel like you can't relate to other people, that you're cut off from them, and like you're misunderstood and forced to walk your own path through life. People of this view often look down upon certain aspects of popular culture (such as reality tv, celebrity gossip and drinking alcohol to excess while out partying), viewing themselves as both apart AND ABOVE individuals who engage in said activities. This type of loner often views himself or herself as a brilliant/cultured martyr, unfairly victimized by an indifferent, shallow and materialistic society. They often arrive at the point where they seem to take joy in playing the role of martyr, freely sharing their "loner exploits" with anyone who will listen."

Click to expand...

Ugh. I didn't read the above glob of underlined and bolded and italicized text. It hurt my eyes.

As for the question, I will say, yes. I'm sure some people do.

Click to expand...

perhaps you need a new pair of eyes.

Click to expand...

My eyes are fine. Thanks for your concern.

Case said:

Kxty33 said:

Case said:

Kxty33 said:

Courtesy of Dr. Wirth: "Some lonely and socially awkward people are really insecure and self-effacing and feel like they're detestable nobodies. I've noticed a tendency for other people to have a different attitude, where they see themselves as a bit above everyone else. There are two sides to this mentality. One is thinking there's something about you that makes you superior to other people. You think you're smarter, deeper, different, or that you have more evolved beliefs and priorities than them. The other side is seeing everyone else as having a bunch of negative traits, that they're dumb, shallow, and selfish. The result is you feel like you can't relate to other people, that you're cut off from them, and like you're misunderstood and forced to walk your own path through life. People of this view often look down upon certain aspects of popular culture (such as reality tv, celebrity gossip and drinking alcohol to excess while out partying), viewing themselves as both apart AND ABOVE individuals who engage in said activities. This type of loner often views himself or herself as a brilliant/cultured martyr, unfairly victimized by an indifferent, shallow and materialistic society. They often arrive at the point where they seem to take joy in playing the role of martyr, freely sharing their "loner exploits" with anyone who will listen."

Click to expand...

Ugh. I didn't read the above glob of underlined and bolded and italicized text. It hurt my eyes.

As for the question, I will say, yes. I'm sure some people do.

Click to expand...

perhaps you need a new pair of eyes.

Click to expand...

My eyes are fine. Thanks for your concern.

Click to expand...

Anytime, sweetheart. Presumably, since your vision is 20/20, your wife left you for other reasons?

Kxty33 said:

Anytime, sweetheart. Presumably, since your vision is 20/20, your wife left you for other reasons?

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Charming, Kxty. But back to the topic at hand...if you have any interest in this in the first place.

Yeah, I actually met a couple of these martyr loners that felt like they were above others. Some of them actually engaged in the same activities as regular social people, but they were full-time misantropes. They just didn't enjoy the company of people while practicing their hobbies. There were others with the well-known 'Everyone is so shallow' agenda that had some serious superiority complexes. I've seen some of them exhibiting the very same shallowness they critizised all day the long, just because others were not acting the exact way they did.

Kxty33 said:

Anytime, sweetheart. Presumably, since your vision is 20/20, your wife left you for other reasons?

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Don't mean to butt in, but come on now, it doesn't have to go there.

On topic though, I can see how some people can be like that. When one feels that being a loner is different from most people who have friends, and they find that being different is a cool and unique thing. Or when one feels so unhappy about being a loner that they decided to change it to something they can glorify about because they just want to escape the sadness. Just my thoughts.

Oh, this person was banned. No wonder.

But the topic is actually interesting and I would bring it up eventually, because it is something I've been wondering myself. In my opinion, loneliness can be a facet of narcissism. I've seen this so many times. Guys (I just met guys like this sorry dudes from ALL) who think they are above everyone else, the world is full of mindless sheep, and that's why they are lonely, because they aren't "sheep". Everyone else is just too stupid. P L E A S E.

These guys are usually the worst type of people to deal with. They are pretentious, self-serving, and all they do is demand for your attention without giving anything back. They are lonely because they are terrible people to deal with. This makes me kind of mad because of the bullshit rationalizations they come up with to explain their behavior. Usually they aren't half as smart as they think themselves to be.

/rant

This can sometimes be used to describe myself. As I've gotten older I've come to terms with the fact that there is something deeply problematic with the way I see myself and how I act around others. In part, I just don't like myself around others and feel like a better person when I'm alone. When I was younger that translated, in my mind, into believing that loneliness elevated me in respect to other people, since I never had to compromise my nature in order socialze.

Now it seems to me that I just didn't have the strength to not compromise myself in the face of social pressure.

I hate writing posts on my phone......

I can think of a couple of members who've come and gone here where it might apply. But going by some of the OP's other comments I think he/she was just trying to stir the pot and get a reaction.

I think they do.

I am a bit guilty of that myself, to be honest. However, I certainly do not think I am above anyone or better than anyone. I see others as people, with their own opinions, their own lives, which are just as valid as mine.

It is certainly possible to view oneself as a "victim" but this kind of behaviour is unethical, and has a tendency to prolong the problem.

Regards,
Bill.

Hmm, what an interesting question...

My ex-best friend was someone I would say definitely reveled in the "martyrdom" of his loneliness. He was highly intelligent, analytical and methodical in his thinking. Logic was his doctrine. However, he desperately wanted to belong but he had a massive superiority complex in regards to other people (myself included), coupled with a fairly hefty inferiority complex about his general lack of friends. It was... taxing to be around. Hence the "ex" part. Other people that I introduced him to were often shocked at his seeming hostility.

There are definitely lonely people who almost seem to wall themselves into their own loneliness, either through aloofness or self-subjection. It's quite sad, really.

I know the kind of people that are like that. That hate the world and its people and think they're above it because of their loneliness. Talk about an extremely negative trait of it. Loneliness should be used to help you grow...but at the same time I guess we're all guilty of this to some degree. Just today on the Underground I was thinking to myself how I get to travel solo abroad and experience things not many others have done...almost like it makes me feel a little better than regular people who aren't lonely. Though I wouldn't outwardly boast about it I prefer to just try and make people understand how the experience was on my own. I think that line of thinking you're better than everyone else because your lonely is just denial and is furthering your own self destruction.

Kxty33 said:

Do some individuals wear their loneliness proudly on their sleeves, almost to the point of "bragging' about it? Do they believe that their "loner status" proves something about themselves? You know, the old "well it is just that everyone else these days is so shallow / stupid / materialistic / cruel /selfish/immature, and I am not. That is why I don't have any friends, etc." rationale.

Courtesy of Dr. Wirth: "Some lonely and socially awkward people are really insecure and self-effacing and feel like they're detestable nobodies. I've noticed a tendency for other people to have a different attitude, where they see themselves as a bit above everyone else. There are two sides to this mentality. One is thinking there's something about you that makes you superior to other people. You think you're smarter, deeper, different, or that you have more evolved beliefs and priorities than them. The other side is seeing everyone else as having a bunch of negative traits, that they're dumb, immature, sex-obsessed, shallow, and selfish. The result is you feel like you can't relate to other people, that you're cut off from them, and like you're misunderstood and forced to walk your own lonely path through life. People of this view often look down upon certain aspects of popular culture (such as reality tv, celebrity gossip, the excessive consumption of alcohol, and hyper-promiscuity/hookup/party culture), viewing themselves as both apart from AND ABOVE individuals who regularly engage in said activities. This type of loner often views himself or herself as a brilliant/cultured/highly-evolved martyr, unfairly victimized by an indifferent, shallow, sex-obsessed and materialistic society. They often arrive at the point where they seem to take joy in playing the role of martyr, freely sharing their "loner exploits" with anyone who will listen."

Click to expand...

I'd like to know where you found this piece, as I wanted to see if Dr. Wirth had any more articles, or what not.

Care to share the source, because I can't find it anywhere on the nets.

I freely admit that I detest people. Part of it is the fact that there are so many around, and the fact that I have to deal with some of the worst of them.

But my question is this: is it too much to ask to find even a few people with a similar attitude? I wouldn't mind hanging out with them.

Everybody I meet...every single one, every last male, every last female, everybody regardless of age or background or anything like that, is a social butterfly, and they all love noise and chaos and the whirl of activity.

Nobody likes quiet things anymore. Everybody wants to be in giant crowds, and staring at screens of some sort or the other playing some stupid song or movie. Now look, everybody here knows this is true.

lonelydoc said:

I freely admit that I detest people. Part of it is the fact that there are so many around, and the fact that I have to deal with some of the worst of them.

But my question is this: is it too much to ask to find even a few people with a similar attitude? I wouldn't mind hanging out with them.

Everybody I meet...every single one, every last male, every last female, everybody regardless of age or background or anything like that, is a social butterfly, and they all love noise and chaos and the whirl of activity.

Nobody likes quiet things anymore. Everybody wants to be in giant crowds, and staring at screens of some sort or the other playing some stupid song or movie. Now look, everybody here knows this is true.

Click to expand...

Just because that's all you see doesn't mean it's true.

Ymir said:

lonelydoc said:

I freely admit that I detest people. Part of it is the fact that there are so many around, and the fact that I have to deal with some of the worst of them.

But my question is this: is it too much to ask to find even a few people with a similar attitude? I wouldn't mind hanging out with them.

Everybody I meet...every single one, every last male, every last female, everybody regardless of age or background or anything like that, is a social butterfly, and they all love noise and chaos and the whirl of activity.

Nobody likes quiet things anymore. Everybody wants to be in giant crowds, and staring at screens of some sort or the other playing some stupid song or movie. Now look, everybody here knows this is true.

Click to expand...

Just because that's all you see doesn't mean it's true.

Click to expand...

Well that's been my experience. Everybody I meet wants to do everything, all the time, spend all of their money, and watch others do the same. They can't stand being apart, or being quiet. People are addicted to other people, and paradoxically that prevents meaningful friendships and relationships. Think about it...if you have a few friends, and one significant other, but you want the whole world, you will never be happy.

I want a few friends and one wife. But even that's impossible. After awhile you give up.

lonelydoc said:

I want a few friends and one wife. But even that's impossible. After awhile you give up.

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It's not impossible.

lonelydoc said:

I freely admit that I detest people. Part of it is the fact that there are so many around, and the fact that I have to deal with some of the worst of them.

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You must be an E.D. doc