Do sometimes people hate you for no reason?

Well, not "hate" in the hate crime way, but dislike to you.

Over and over again in my life I have some person just randomly dislike me. It can be a guy but also a woman. For the first 40 years of my life I presumed it was something about something I did or my look. However, recently I am coming around to the idea of something else at work.

I joined a town group the conservation commission. One hope of it was to get friends. But one of the ladies who isn't rude to me... absolutely doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with me. Often anything I say she has to respond to in sort of a negative way.

I have a boss who has never liked me. But he is fine with women who are much less dressers or similar personality to me. Why he doesn't like me is a mystery.

In any sphere of my life, school, grad school, community, work, there is always someone who wants nothing to do with me. Like before they even know me or anything about me.

U?

I have a problem where people randomly stop being my friend for no apparent reason.

Same. People say at first sight I look like a stuck up *****, even though I try my best to be nice and friendly. It seems that people will hate me for no reason when they want to, which is within their right, considering I also hate people without having a valid reason haha

Ymir said:

Same. People say at first sight I look like a stuck up *****, even though I try my best to be nice and friendly.

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I get the same thing. But what is a mystery to me is why 99% of the world doesn't react that way and seem to notice how nice and friendly I am.

LonelySutton said:

Ymir said:

Same. People say at first sight I look like a stuck up *****, even though I try my best to be nice and friendly.

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I get the same thing. But what is a mystery to me is why 99% of the world doesn't react that way and seem to notice how nice and friendly I am.

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Maybe you're not nice and friendly if they're all reacting to you as if you're not.

Well, at least some people say "you are actually nice and fun to be with" after a while haha.

LonelySutton said:

Well, not "hate" in the hate crime way, but dislike to you.

Over and over again in my life I have some person just randomly dislike me. It can be a guy but also a woman. For the first 40 years of my life I presumed it was something about something I did or my look. However, recently I am coming around to the idea of something else at work.

I joined a town group the conservation commission. One hope of it was to get friends. But one of the ladies who isn't rude to me... absolutely doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with me. Often anything I say she has to respond to in sort of a negative way.

I have a boss who has never liked me. But he is fine with women who are much less dressers or similar personality to me. Why he doesn't like me is a mystery.

In any sphere of my life, school, grad school, community, work, there is always someone who wants nothing to do with me. Like before they even know me or anything about me.

U?

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when I was younger, say around 20, everybody hated me. Every job I had, the people really did give me a hard time. Everywhere I went, teams I played for, people I randomly bumped into.

There was a point in my life when I stopped caring what people thought. As long as I knew I was polite to people and treated them with respect.

Even now some women at work treat me like a huge pile of shite, while they laugh and cackle at everything other people say. No reason for it. Thankfully it isn't everybody and most people seem to think I am okay.

I think a lot of it is the older you get the less sensitive you become. An insult 20 years ago would hurt, Now it is forgotten in 5 minutes.

Yes, a lot.

xaero said:

I have a problem where people randomly stop being my friend for no apparent reason.

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^ And that too.

It happens to me too. Often, people seem to ignore me as if I'm invisible, without any obvious reason. Sometimes, I get the feeling that I'm disliked or avoided. I could think of several cases of more or less open hostility. Of course, this hurts.

I used to try to get their attention or at least to try to find out and understand the reasons behind. Since I stopped doing this and simply live my own life, I started to notice that the same people are likely to change their attitudes with time. Most people need extra time to get to know and accept someone else, some for various reasons focus on only few people around them and others may be just picky or think they take part in a race and you may steal the main trophy.

It seems imposible to acknowledge existence of every person we meet, yet to like all of them. Not being noticed or liked does not mean that I don't exist or disliked. Anyway, pondering whether someone likes me or not, hates or doesn't see me, leads to nowhere and is time and energy consuming.

What kind of conservation?

I used to notice this happen to me a lot when I was growing up. They didn't like me. I had some friends tell me I was a bore. So even though they felt like they had to invite me along to stuff, they don't keep me included. I think when I hit around 18 or 19, I started to not give a honeysuckle about it, so it hasn't really bothered me when I'm being left out in a particular setting. If that happens, I just either mind my own business or leave. And then not contact these people again. Solves the problem each time.

Ymir said:

Same. People say at first sight I look like a stuck up *****, even though I try my best to be nice and friendly. It seems that people will hate me for no reason when they want to, which is within their right, considering I also hate people without having a valid reason haha

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Good old resting ***** face syndrome.

Triple Bogey said:

I think a lot of it is the older you get the less sensitive you become. An insult 20 years ago would hurt, Now it is forgotten in 5 minutes.

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I don't feel this way. Things I would have brushed aside 10 years ago bother me now.
People disliking me for unknown reasons seems more significant.. maybe to do with having less time left on earth.
I wish I could get into that state of not giving a honeysuckle.

xaero said:

I have a problem where people randomly stop being my friend for no apparent reason.

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hey i've got they same problem too..does this happen to you a lot..?

People might have reason to hate me. Whatever that reason is i do not care. Because if there is a reason people are hating me then to hell with them. I am perfect and everyone else is bad. Poo poo on them who hate me.

When I was in high school, I had a fairly close friend & his girlfriend hated me... I know hate is a strong word but she genuinely hated me... She flat out told me to my face that she hated me, which in my opinion the best thing she could've done...

I seem to end up on the fringes of people's attention, and when I find myself having to strive for contact with them while they make no effort in return, I give up and stop trying entirely. Not to be a *****, but to save my own sanity. I have some very good friends back home, but no one where I currently live.

I tend to give them a good reason to get the hate on

Their loss

WildernessWildChild said:

I tend to give them a good reason to get the hate on

Their loss

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what do you mean you give them the reason..? Im always thinking that is my fault friends hate me..but because i didnt answer a call or something...
you mean something like that?

Yeah. Always seem to have. Even as a child, the other kids in the street disliked me, apparently for no other reason than that I was me. But it's always happened, all through school, university, and even when I worked. Walked in to work on my very first day, didn't know anyone there at all, and yet they all took an instant dislike to me, that only grew worse over time. At times I have ventured to ask someone why the didn't like me, and occasionally I would be told that it is because I am too ugly or too boring. But most of the time when I asked they would just shrug their shoulders, which I took to mean that they disliked me simply because everyone else did.

Still happens now. Random people will tell me I'm ugly, even out in public places, for no apparent reason other than to say it.

I have had people just hate me for no reason, I just met them, happened to me a few times I knew of, might have been more I didn't.

One time that I do remember I met a guy who was going to be my new manager, they were showing him around, they introduced us and he basically gave me the cold shoulder, didn't even shake my hand, and never liked me the entire time I worked there.

And in my opinion I believe I am a nice person, I am always polite to people, love animals, helped stangers, but it's like for some people I give off a vibe that causes instant dislike, might be the reason I always had a hard time making friends etc. It is weird and I never understood it.