Defining yourself with your hobbies?

In social situations, my number one problem is that I have nothing to say unless I can talk about my hobbies. And I never can nerd out about my hobbies, nobody wants to hear it. My hobbies are too specific.

Job-related, school-related, weather-related, news-related, life-happenings topics...I can't do it. I can't talk about these topics. The only moment I'm social is when I'm partaking in one of my hobbies with someone else. Then, as soon as the activity is over, I go back to being awkward and wanting to leave.

I guess it's kind of hard to understand what I'm talking about. Anyone else who understands or shares the same problem?

I understand you.
Could you find clubs/groups for anyone who shares your hobbies or are they too esoteric? Could you subscribe to meet up and start a group yourself? Who knows-you may find some kindred spirits?

Just curious, what are your hobbies exactly?

Tiina63 said:

I understand you.
Could you find clubs/groups for anyone who shares your hobbies or are they too esoteric? Could you subscribe to meet up and start a group yourself? Who knows-you may find some kindred spirits?

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Sometimes, I join groups like that, but like I said, the fun only lasts for as long as the activity does. When the groups meet outside of the activity, I really don't connect much.

I don't actually know what I'm asking, to be honest. Making topics at 4am will do that.

ladyforsaken said:

Just curious, what are your hobbies exactly?

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I love strategy board games like chess and go. Used to be in a go club but it just got awkward after a while and I haven't been to it in 2 or 3 years.

I play badminton weekly, I'd play more if I could but the cost ramps up quickly. And after a year or two in the same place, I feel the urge to change the group I play with completely. I never connect outside of the activity itself.

Aside from that, I have a bunch of solitary hobbies which I would feel silly talking about.

I don't have enough hobbies, or I should say, I am not good enough at my hobbies. So I don't have much to say at social gatherings either. But I try to find people who like what I like and pick their brains, let them talk about themselves. Sometimes these conversations can last quite a while.

I have the same problem. I don't have a lot to talk about, but start talking about my show dogs....yep, I bore people.

Nicolelt said:

I have the same problem. I don't have a lot to talk about, but start talking about my show dogs....yep, I bore people.

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Well on the surface, it seems like a simple solution: either get more hobbies/experiences under your belt and make yourself a more interesting person to be around, or try to find a group of like-minded individuals. In my opinion, the best plan of attack is to integrate the two approaches: you should not try to force a relationship with people who clearly are not on your wavelength, but do try and say yes to new experiences outside your comfort zone from time to time. Yes, sometimes they will suck, but at least you will get one more story out of it!

Nitramici said:

In social situations, my number one problem is that I have nothing to say unless I can talk about my hobbies. And I never can nerd out about my hobbies, nobody wants to hear it. My hobbies are too specific.

Job-related, school-related, weather-related, news-related, life-happenings topics...I can't do it. I can't talk about these topics. The only moment I'm social is when I'm partaking in one of my hobbies with someone else. Then, as soon as the activity is over, I go back to being awkward and wanting to leave.

I guess it's kind of hard to understand what I'm talking about. Anyone else who understands or shares the same problem?

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Well... I don't think you're all that different than anyone else, at least for the most part... Most people feel at ease when they're talking about something they feel comfortable with & more often than not, it's hobbies... If you've been doing it long enough, you'd feel comfortable about the subject & it comes to you naturally... On flip side of that, things you're not interested in, you're not gonna feel comfortable talking about... May be I'm generalizing too much but at least that's what I found when I talk to people in social settings... It seems to me that you might be on a bit of extreme end of it... I get bored easily with things that I don't really care for... Of course any conversation about things I don't find interesting are gonna be short & at times non-existent... Don't feel too bad... I'm sure to one extent or another, a lot of people are like that...

lately I have been so depressed that I forgot what my hobbies are…. not THAT is much more boring than weird hobbies, at least enthusiasm is contagious

Nitramici, could you describe how talking about your hobbies and talking about anything else differs? Why do you think that you can only talk about your hobbies while you feel awkward when you can't?

Nicolelt said:

I have the same problem. I don't have a lot to talk about, but start talking about my show dogs....yep, I bore people.

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I don't get bored. I like hearing about how you're abusing animals for your own enjoyment.

PieBeNice said:

Nicolelt said:

I have the same problem. I don't have a lot to talk about, but start talking about my show dogs....yep, I bore people.

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I don't get bored. I like hearing about how you're abusing animals for your own enjoyment.

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At least someone understand me <3