No job, no life and alone

Hey guys!

So a couple of months ago I got an email from olive garden saying that
they would like to me meet me. So as instructed by the email I called the restaurant to schedule an interview. Unfortunately it turned out to be a goose chase in the end as they were not hiring. I felt like I was led on with the fact that I was going to get another job and some people to talk to. The possibility of saving enough money to have some independence in terms of transportation. So I'm back to where I was last year, all by myself with no way to make money.

My only hope now is to find a job at uni. However, there's a possibility that I would be spending about two decades of my life paying off those student loans for a job that I didn't even need to get a degree for. To be honest with you guys, I really want to date, but I can't really make that convenient for me to do so as I have no way to get around at all. That, and I have little money.

I have starting to realize that I am and have been getting bullied by various family members and say that I should adjust my behavior when I'm only reacting to what they are doing. I have no way to escape at all and my only choice is to take the most immediate option, which is going to uni and staying on campus.

So the plan is to do what I stated above. If you guys have any advice feel free to post it to put it below. All and all, just writer what you think and I hope you guys can see what I'm trying to say.
Thank you!

Well you Weasel (in jest of course lol) sounds like staying on campus is a viable option for now and who knows who you may meet on campus (the right professor for a future job, gf, etc).

It's a target rich environment for so many things.
Try it for a bit, nothing to lose.
As for family members, what can you do, for those that are bullying you around, cut them off.

I'm cutting a family member off myself very soon myself.

Good luck.

I'm on the fence with this. On the one hand, the debt with student loans these days is ridiculous. In some ways it defeats the purpose of going to school.

But on the other hand, it depends what you want. I have heard that a good rule of thumb to follow is DON'T take out more student loans greater than the amount that you expect to make in your first year of work. While you can't know that exactly, you can make an educated guess based on the salary ranges of jobs. You can look that up in career books.

Be warned - some majors (ahem, English, Philosophy, Religious Studies, and things of that nature) almost always lead to jobs that don't pay jack. If money is a concern you may want to avoid these, and others like them. Counselors themselves will not tell you which majors pay and which don't, they will just smile and tell you everything is fine. They're pretty pointless if you ask me. You have to do your own career research.

That being said, there's no point in using this great opportunity on something that doesn't interest you. I majored in business administration, and wasn't really into it - i just wanted something that (supposedly) made money. If i could do it over again - I would still major in something practical which makes as much money as possible, BUT I would have minored in an interest, like English, or one of the sciences.

Looking back, college was a huge opportunity for me that I sort of squandered. I did get a degree but I did not network nearly as much as I could have / should have, in terms of both professional and personal aspects. I didn't get to know my professors well enough, and I have heard that some people can get jobs just by knowing the right professors. My friend got a job through one of his professors, actually. They are a valuable professional reference, and professional references are very hard to find.

Also it is a good opportunity to network, socially. There's all kinds of activity clubs and such, which provides a great alternative to the party scene if that is not your thing. It wasn't mine, but i got hung up on hating the "preppies" when I should have focused on just finding the things that do matter to me.

Ska's advice here is great, especially this:

TheSkaFish said:

Counselors themselves will not tell you which majors pay and which don't, they will just smile and tell you everything is fine. They're pretty pointless if you ask me. You have to do your own career research.

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And this:

TheSkaFish said:

I did get a degree but I did not network nearly as much as I could have / should have, in terms of both professional and personal aspects. I didn't get to know my professors well enough, and I have heard that some people can get jobs just by knowing the right professors. My friend got a job through one of his professors, actually. They are a valuable professional reference, and professional references are very hard to find.

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Avoid the temptation to automatically accept advice just because it came from a counselor (or professor, or whoever). Live by the mantra, "If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself." Don't assume that people are going to do their job right, and don't assume that things are getting done on your behalf, even if you've handed off the proper paperwork and think you have everything set to go. Check, double check, triple check; follow up as many times as necessary to make sure things are getting done. Learn to be annoying if you have to.

Networking is so important. Get to know your professors and if possible, ask to be involved in their projects as well.

One thing I will add is not to get excited about fields that are stereotypically good choices until you have done your own research. For example, so many people have gone into Law over the last 10 years or so that the field has become over-saturated, and people who thought they'd get to be lawyers have either been stuck working as paralegals and legal secretaries, or have been unable to find any work in the field at all. When this happens, average salaries also go down because there are more qualified people seeking employment than there are available positions, and companies have their pick. I have seen this trend happening more and more lately in fields that were said to have a great job outlook a few years ago.

So just be cautious and look into your options carefully. At the same time though, try not to let fear or discouragement keep you indecisive for too long.

Solivagant said:

Avoid the temptation to automatically accept advice just because it came from a counselor (or professor, or whoever). Live by the mantra, "If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself." Don't assume that people are going to do their job right, and don't assume that things are getting done on your behalf, even if you've handed off the proper paperwork and think you have everything set to go. Check, double check, triple check; follow up as many times as necessary to make sure things are getting done. Learn to be annoying if you have to.

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Thank you. I feel I could almost write a book on what NOT to do, to be successful in college. And like I said, I didn't even party all that much, and I certainly did not party with the party crowd. I just fell through the cracks by not doing all the little things you are supposed to do, or by not doing them as well as I possibly could have.

Anyway. Yes. Your advice, Solivagant, is gold. It reminds me of the time when I graduated...or so I thought. In 2010 I attended my college's graduation ceremony, got dressed up in my cap and gown, listened to the speeches and through all the names, and dragged my family out to a real scorcher of a day. I went up to shake hands with the school's president and got my diploma...again, or so I thought. When I opened it I instead found a note saying I was a few credits short of graduating. Nobody thought to tell me ahead of time. My counselor said I was good to go. The secretaries who looked at my graduation paperwork said I was good to go. But I was not, and it made no sense to me that they decided to let me attend the ceremony anyway. Luckily, I was able to finnagle them into letting me do my electives at the local community college for a far less price than at my actual college.


Though I actually enjoyed that semester most of all, it is a classic example of "if you want something done right, do it yourself" and to check, double check, triple check everything. Annoy the hell out of the staff if it comes down to it. Make them earn their keep, so you can earn your degree.

Solivagant said:

Networking is so important. Get to know your professors and if possible, ask to be involved in their projects as well.

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Definitely. Once you leave college, good professional contacts are EXTREMELY hard to find, especially if you don't have much job experience.

Solivagant said:

One thing I will add is not to get excited about fields that are stereotypically good choices until you have done your own research. For example, so many people have gone into Law over the last 10 years or so that the field has become over-saturated, and people who thought they'd get to be lawyers have either been stuck working as paralegals and legal secretaries, or have been unable to find any work in the field at all. When this happens, average salaries also go down because there are more qualified people seeking employment than there are available positions, and companies have their pick. I have seen this trend happening more and more lately in fields that were said to have a great job outlook a few years ago.

So just be cautious and look into your options carefully. At the same time though, try not to let fear or discouragement keep you indecisive for too long.

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This is also true. A lot of previously good fields have become saturated with graduates, so there are more qualified people to do the jobs than there are jobs to do. I think this is going to become a problem with society in general as we continue to outsource and automate jobs, but that is another topic in and of itself.

I don't know which fields are good, but you have to again do your homework here. You need to find something that pays well and isn't what everyone else is doing. To elaborate on that, I would also say get a specialized major. I find that my own, Business Administration, is too general to be useful. You need to specialize. You want to help employers find a spot for you by knowing where you fit in.

The absolute best way of course is to be able to start your own company. But initially it will probably help to have a job first while you find out what you want to do.

TheSkaFish said:

I feel I could almost write a book on what NOT to do, to be successful in college.

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Lol, me too. Your experiences sound a lot like mine. Maybe we should collaborate.

Solivagant said:

TheSkaFish said:

I feel I could almost write a book on what NOT to do, to be successful in college.

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Lol, me too. Your experiences sound a lot like mine. Maybe we should collaborate.

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Sure, but we'll have to figure out how to make it funny. If we're just giving people straight advice it won't be exciting enough, and if we are angry, it will just be complaining and nobody likes that. We have to make it funny somehow...comedy will get copies of our book off the shelf!

I’d also be wary of majoring in pure sciences. Unless you’re willing to do postgraduate it’s unlikely you’ll find a job, not as a Research Assistant, and not even a Lab Technician. That’s how it is here anyway.

Engineering, Computer Science, Medicine, Accounting. You pays your money (and you takes your choice.)

You could major in humanities and become a teacher, but teacher’s salaries…

ardour said:

I’d also be wary of majoring in pure sciences. Unless you’re willing to do postgraduate it’s unlikely you’ll find a job, not as a Research Assistant, and not even a Lab Technician. That’s how it is here anyway.

Engineering, Computer Science, Medicine, Accounting. You pays your money (and you takes your choice.)

You could major in humanities and become a teacher, but teacher’s salaries…

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I agree.

Degrees have an inflated value these days hence you have to go to school to get a good job. Most of jobs don't even need a degree in order to perform it. The reason why it's like that is because a lot of people are out of a job and needed income and just so happened to have a degree. That that caused the value of a degree to decrease. If we had way better economy those peple would up and leave for a better job.

Are you currently attending university?

PieBeNice said:

Are you currently attending university?

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No

Not to mention that I barley have food that is actual food mostly seasoning and rice and it's really adding to it

ardour said:

You could major in humanities and become a teacher, but teacher’s salaries…

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I teach in the U.S, and my salary is not that bad as a first year teacher, I live pretty comfortable.

African_weasel said:

Degrees have an inflated value these days hence you have to go to school to get a good job. Most of jobs don't even need a degree in order to perform it. The reason why it's like that is because a lot of people are out of a job and needed income and just so happened to have a degree. That that caused the value of a degree to decrease. If we had way better economy those peple would up and leave for a better job.

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I don't think it is so much of the degree, but the job experience. When I was looking for an industry job, everyone wanted 3-5 years experience with a degree. Unless you do internships for job experience, you are screwed when you get out of college and looking for a job. I used to stress that you need experience a lot to students I was tutoring in college and working as an industry recruiter.

Come to Europe! in several countries (france or germany for example) higher education is close to free http://www.studyineurope.eu

and it is possible to apply for scholarships to cover living costs if you are not a EU citizen.

What can I say, I hate the american system of ridiculously expensive universities and loans

Peaches said:

What can I say, I hate the american system of ridiculously expensive universities and loans

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Don't we all. *Sigh.*

Peaches said:

Come to Europe! in several countries (france or germany for example) higher education is close to free http://www.studyineurope.eu

and it is possible to apply for scholarships to cover living costs if you are not a EU citizen.

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Now, after seeing this post, I am seriously considering....

Nicolelt said:

Unless you do internships for job experience, you are screwed when you get out of college and looking for a job. I used to stress that you need experience a lot to students I was tutoring in college and working as an industry recruiter.

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Yes. I wholeheartedly agree with this - in fact, I don't think colleges should even allow students to graduate without an internship, for this very reason. I really don't think this idea is stressed enough. Growing up, all of the emphasis was placed on getting the bachelor's. I feel they didn't do a very good job of saying that the internship is essential, not optional.

Peaches said:

Come to Europe! in several countries (france or germany for example) higher education is close to free http://www.studyineurope.eu

and it is possible to apply for scholarships to cover living costs if you are not a EU citizen.

What can I say, I hate the american system of ridiculously expensive universities and loans

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I've been thinking about doing that and going to Canada. The reason it's so expensive in America is because of the federal student loans and how immediate they get the money. That cause them to jack up the price of tuition.

TheSkaFish said:

Nicolelt said:

Unless you do internships for job experience, you are screwed when you get out of college and looking for a job. I used to stress that you need experience a lot to students I was tutoring in college and working as an industry recruiter.

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Yes. I wholeheartedly agree with this - in fact, I don't think colleges should even allow students to graduate without an internship, for this very reason. I really don't think this idea is stressed enough. Growing up, all of the emphasis was placed on getting the bachelor's. I feel they didn't do a very good job of saying that the internship is essential, not optional.

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Unfortunately, I did internships in college and still ended up screwed. I'm sure it improves one's chances and it can't hurt, but it's not any kind of a guarantee.